Inviation to a 4 yo's party states "No Presents". Advice?

[Judd]

Hiya,
Just wanted to run this past you. My DD and DS have been invited to a party this coming weekend in the church hall - running around, toys and a bouncy castle. The invitation clearly states that no presents are to be bought for the birthday girl - do I:-
A) comply and just send a card
B) send a DD-crafted card written by her and covered in glitter, ribbon etc.
C) send a present but err on the educational side (Orchard Toys maybe) rather than frivolity
D) Something else along the charity donation lines. (feel this may be more for her parents' benefit though, as the little girl will not understand).
E) Buy something hair-clippy which would be girly yet practical.
Any thoughts gratefully received!

I did this last week,and I meant what I said.

However,I did say that if people wanted to give something,could they donate to school fund.

Don't give owt.

I would make a nice card and that be it. If the mum says no presents, then I would follow her wishes.

Home made card nice though.We had a few of these and they were lovely.

how weird.

I would do a)

i'd do A. quite sad for the girl though, wonder why they don't want presents

I'd do b.

you could say to the mum that you gave and extra £5 to children in need becuase of the no present rule.

Why is it weird?
In my case,my kids have a housefull of toys and i really could do without more plastic crap.
Also the waste of moneyt weighs heavily on my conscience.

We are not loons.
Well...not much anyway.

Message withdrawn

No
Fun of a party is having your friends come and play with you.

I can see the sense in this.
My ds already has an annual obscene frenzy of present opening and he's not even had a birthday party yet.
I do get upset by the money wasted on plastic.

How well do you know the child? If pretty well, how about a card with an invitation to go with your children to the cinema for a movie and then say pizzahut, your treat?

If the party is in the church hall, it is likely the whole class has been invited - certianly lots of children. It would be ludicrous for every child to give a gift - it might be upwards of 30 presents for one child! I suspect that is why the parents have asked for no gifts.

I would just give a card and thank my lucky stars that I don't have to give a gift that I am not sure would be appreciated.

My kids still get presents form family.

It's pointless to give 'em too much.They don't appreciate it,thus one is defeated if one's original purpose was to delight them.

The fun is in the playing I agree.

Personally I think it's as 'off' to insist on no present as it is to inisist on a present.

IMO, it really should be the decision of the attendee, not something mandated by the host.

(Have had an occasion where a parent and child turned up without a present - bothered me and DD not one jot. )

Do you know why they don't want presents?

TBH, sometimes we don't give presents but do an "experience". For example, some of the things we have "hosted" instead of gifts - we took one child ice skating, another to soft play and had tea there, trip to children's theatre for a puppet show, and one especially close friend we took onto the London eye (all were our treat).

Most children have so many things, that sometimes, IMO, it is more memorable to do something special as a gift instead.

Would you feel comfortable offering something along those lines, or would that go against the parent's wishes?

send invitation back and state " stick it then"

I'd go for b - and get DD to make a fab card, probably using nice mbellishments, ribbins, etc that could be reused by the child later.

Go for option B and make a great card. I agree with Moondog on this one - DS has plenty of toys, and I don't want the whole house buried under them!! Having said that, when he was 2 earlier in the year, I asked people just to bring a book as a gift. Kind of a compromise I thought.

Thank you all for your replies! We are friendly with the parents - we are all at the same church - and I wonder if they have invited most of the Sunday School children (eg. 2.5 years between my DD and DS but both invited). Therefore there probably will be a good number there.
Could also be that it is getting near Christmas and they feel two lots of presents in a short space of time will be a little overwhelming. Mind you, DD's birthday is in a fortnight and I tend to give ideas to people who ask (usually relatives) for things a little "older" than she needs at the moment and then spread them out through the year.
I think I'll go for DD's home-made creation, coupled with emergent writing inside (and sneaky, yet necessary, translation

Donation to a charity is always nice.

I'm tempted to go this way for the next birthday, frankly, as we need another pile of toys like we need a hole in the head.

What I think is strange is that you would even think of getting a present when they have asked you not to. Why is it a problem just to do as they ask?

who ARE these kids that have so many toys that they don't need presents? If my kids didn't get presents from their friends they would hardly have any toys.

Also my children LIKE to choose presents for their friends. dd2 would be ringing Childline if she had an invite like this.

But in answer to your question, I would not send a present but would think the parents were up themselves.

I think it's fine when you are inviting a few friends. But when it's the whole of reception (as we did for ds last year, joint with another child) we got SO many it was a bit daft. And some of them completely inappropriate.

Obvious answer is buy the child a goat.

Oxfam have this great scheme where your donation is used to buy a goat, buckets or some thing that will improve the lives of people in awful places.
Give a goat

Your local Oxfam shop will help as well.