Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

What do you do about opening presents at your children's party?

102 replies

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2006 14:33

Last year we let ds open his presents as people arrived. It was a nightmare as all the children wanted to play with them and there were tears (they were 2). Ds wouldn't put down his favourite present and spent the whole party playing with it.

This year I don't know what to do. We went to a party recently where the presents were not opened at all. I was a bit disappointed as I really wanted to see the little girl's face when she opened our present.

What do other people do?

OP posts:

Hulababy · 02/04/2006 14:38

It was DD's birthday yesterday and all the presents were taken home to open later. We had over 20 children there so present opening would have taken over the party, and TBh, the children just wanted to go and play. It took thir parents a few times to remeind them to hand the presents over as they were all too busy tearing their shoes off to get on the bouncy castle!

I was also concerned if they'd been opened the other children would want to play with them, or things would get lost or broken.

It seems to be the norm at the parties we go to for children to open presents later after their parties. No one expected DD to open hers at all.

iota · 02/04/2006 14:40

agree with Hula

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2006 14:41

Ah but did they, Hulababy? I didn't say anything at the other party, but I very much did expect her to open them, perhaps at the end. I can see at a big party it is not feasible though. This was a little party at her home.

I hope your party went well and dd had a good time :)

OP posts:

LadySherlockofLGJ · 02/04/2006 14:41

agree with Hula and Iota.

GDG · 02/04/2006 14:42

We've never opened the presents at the party - just bag them up and put them in the car. Then say thanks afterwards. Just too much of a nightmare to open at the party - detracts from it and causes tears as you found out!

GDG · 02/04/2006 14:43

Might be different if it was at home with a few friends but ours have been at a venue with over 20 kids aged 4 or 5 - no chance!

LadySherlockofLGJ · 02/04/2006 14:43

Also someone could have spent ages buying the "perfect gift" only for the child to open it and announce that they already have one.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2006 14:45

LOL that is true LGJ. Is it not good practice for showing good manners and being gracious though? I am really surprised nobody does present opening. I do see the point at a big party, but at a smaller one, something grates on me. It seems a bit, well, rude.

OP posts:

spidermama · 02/04/2006 14:46

I've learned the hard way that you have to be quite firm on this and keep them for later.
We've had a couple of parties where kids were understandably excited and wanted my dd or ds to open presents there and then, but the contents have been spread all over the house/venue, broken and/or lost before they've ever been properly played with. It's a terrible waste. We completely lost control once and had no idea which present was from which child or which tiny componenet went with which new toy.

Hulababy · 02/04/2006 14:47

FandZ - no, I really don't think they did as it is just not the norm here. I have been to just one party where the presents were opened and that was a very small party and the children were 2yos. But even then the paper was remooved but the presents not opened further.

spidermama · 02/04/2006 14:48

Also at a party, you're partying and NOT playing with your new stuff. So it's not appropriate and not usually something the assembled crowd can share in.

If a present is something which can be shared and would contribute to party atmosphere (eg bubble machine) then I, as the giver, would mention this.

Hulababy · 02/04/2006 14:49

Oh and thanks, [arty did go well and Dd had a lovely time, and she recieved some really great presents :)

zippitippitoes · 02/04/2006 14:49

I think it's a good reason for really not bothering to put much thought into the present and just getting something generic

WestCountryLass · 02/04/2006 14:50

We always open the presents after the event. I think it saves on the other parents/children seeing what other people ahve given (comparing cost etc) and the tears when everyone wants to play with everything, plus you can write down who gave what to send off the thank yous

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2006 14:51

Agree zippi.

Ok, I am taking this on board. But I feel it's a real shame. I am not sure why things have gone this way as it never used to be the case in the past IME. Are parties getting too big and impersonal do you think?

OP posts:

fairydust · 02/04/2006 14:51

At dd's party the organiser had a big black bag that all the presents we're put into when the kids arrived so at the end we took them all home and it worked really well like that.

WestCountryLass · 02/04/2006 14:53

Oh and we had the same frenzied present opening at one of DSs birthdays, presents were all put on a table and DS and his friend opened most of them when I was otherwise engaged and I had no idea who gave what

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2006 14:54

I am struggling to put into words my feeling that this is wrong but I think it is because it reduces the present buying into a transaction that needs to be completed to gain entrance to the party. All the pleasurable and personal aspects of the exchange of presents is lost - seeing the recipient open them, thanking each giver personally. Putting a heap of presents into a black bin liner and carting them away seems abhorrent to me.

OP posts:

GDG · 02/04/2006 14:54

Would have been embarrassing at ds1's as he got about 4 power rangers too!

spidermama · 02/04/2006 14:59

I know what you're say8ng F&Z but I think actually that works the other way too. I went to one party where we were all made to sit round and open the presents one by one and marvel at the gifts. The dad was American.
I found this very unpleasant, overly focussed on the material gain aspect of the party, and competative. Some people gloated and preened because they'd bought huge expensive pressies, others skulked and blushed if their's were deemed cheap and small. (We were in the latter group)

rumtumtigger · 02/04/2006 15:03

Mainly presents aren't opened if it is a big party - after all if you have invited the whole class how would there be time for anything else!!!

Blandmum · 02/04/2006 15:03

We never open gifts at the party. The kids thank the giver and they are then put in the car. I have never seen people open gifts at the party. I think it risks people feeling they have to spend a large amount of money.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2006 15:04

Yep, I see everybody's point. How about open them quietly in a corner near the end? Anyone who wishes to watch, can do? Ds primed to say "how lovely" no matter what he thinks?

oh yes, that was my other question - how the hell do you explain to the child that they can't open them straight away???? Ds will be 3, this is not going to be easy.

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 02/04/2006 15:07

I can see Franny's point and agree to a degree, although we've not yet had a party for our ds's other than family. I would find it rather difficult to just accept presents and just bag them up and take them home unopened - I would feel as though I was being rude and ungracious, not acknowledging the thought or the choice behind each gift. I would feel I was robbing the giver of the pleasure of giving, IYSWIM, and just accepting presents as my due (on behalf of ds) which would feel a bit spoilt and ungracious to me. I'm not putting this very well at all. But there is something a bit wrong with it, to me.

Original poster

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2006 15:09

Yes well that is because you are an oddball like me Greeny :)

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread