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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

Original poster

What do you do about opening presents at your children's party?

102 replies

FrannyandZooey · 02/04/2006 14:33

Last year we let ds open his presents as people arrived. It was a nightmare as all the children wanted to play with them and there were tears (they were 2). Ds wouldn't put down his favourite present and spent the whole party playing with it.

This year I don't know what to do. We went to a party recently where the presents were not opened at all. I was a bit disappointed as I really wanted to see the little girl's face when she opened our present.

What do other people do?

OP posts:
Clary · 03/04/2006 13:14

dd's party in June is going to be inexpensive too. It's her first fopr just her (usually shared with ds1 whose b/day is 4 days before)
Hiring a hall - cost about £30 (only because there will be about 25 children and there's not room for more than about 6 in my house!)
Food - I'll make it, cost not that much, lots of fresh bits and a few sandwiches.
Cake, I make it too.
Entertainment - free - we are going to decorate crowns (princess and prince theme) and then have loads of games. All the children will be 4-5 plus a few 6yo so they should be well able to play Cinderella Says, Musical Thrones, Stick the Crown on to the Princess, Dress up liek a Princess (or Knight) to eat chocolate etc.
Party bags - a fairy tale book from the Book People plus cake, balloon, choc bar.
Last year's party for ds1 and dd was similar but we had a clown as the age range was too big for me to face party games. Even then it only (only???) cost about £120 but that was for 30+ children.
DD went to a party at a soft play place recently and there were 21 guests so it must have cost more than £150, fo a party that I think it quite impersonal - the place was packed and there was an air of party conveyer belt - party bags handed out to guests from another party as we arrived. But that's just my view...

Enid · 03/04/2006 13:39

wow £25 thats impressive Shock

I had dd2s in a village hall (£10) but bouncy castle was £50. Homemade food still not cheap - probably £30, party bags and pass the parcel about £30 too.

dd1's is a trip to the panto with tea. A present to wave during the show is their 'party bag' - costs around £15 a head, so for 8 kids and 2 adults thats around £150

MadamePlatypus · 03/04/2006 13:51

I partly agree that it is nice to open presents at the party. The problem, particularly with young children is that it can just end up in a frenzy - nobody remembers who gave what, bits get broken, and if they are going through the "mine" stage it can get a bit ugly. However, I think thank you notes are even more important if you open the presents later. The present collector should also explain that presents are going to be opened later for whatever practical reason and politely thank the giver.

I was really surprised at a recent party for 3 yr olds at a leisure centre, that although all the parents stayed with their children, some of the parents made zero effort to interact with the other parents or children - one father even brought a book to read. One of the points of the whole birthday party thing, I think, is to teach children basic manners - e.g. getting on together, sharing, making sure everybody is included, realising that one child is the 'birthday child', but also that they have to be polite to their guests. If its all just a sugar fueled free for all (however expensive), I think this can get lost, and to me its not a proper birthday party.

Enid · 03/04/2006 13:57
Shock

I went to a party at a soft play place (3 year olds) and not only did I bugger off to the Olives Et Al factory shop nearby I left dd1 (6) behind to play on the soft play stuff.

I did get the mum a jar of olives though

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 03/04/2006 13:59

enid - it had to be cheap - that was back at the beginning of September when things were really dire for us, it was £25 I didn't have but my parents gave me £25 for DS1's present - and told me to spend it on whatever I wanted for him - asked if a small party was ok and they were over the moon about the idea.

Enid · 03/04/2006 14:01

bless. nice parents.

Mallarkey · 03/04/2006 14:12

A friend keeps all the presents from the party and gives one to the child each day she's been good.

Enid · 03/04/2006 14:12

blimey thats calculating

Mallarkey · 03/04/2006 14:19

They think that children get too much and it's ridiculous to open 20+ presents.
I can see where there coming from, but I wouldn't do it personally.

LadyPenelope · 03/04/2006 16:09

Interesting thread. As kids we opened pressies at parties, but no-one ever has at any of the parties dd or ds have been to.

My view now is that opening presents in front of the other kids would be "showing off" - it's boring for the others to watch, upsetting if there are duplicates (even if your child handles it well) and no matter if the parents and child say it's the gift not the value, it does somehow encourage comparisons.

So we go the route of opening them later and sending a handwritten note. (dd 5, so I write them and she either draws a piture or signs it)

However, if 1 friend gives a present at some point other than the party, then dd would open it.

This is very topical as I still have to writed the thank you notes from ds party ... already week ago so must write in next day or so.

corin · 03/04/2006 18:22

We've had one nightmarish birthday party at home where ds would tear open the wrapping paper the minute the arriving child handed over the present, but that was ages ago when we had no clue! These days they put the presents on a table and they get opened after the cake, which leaves plenty of time to play together before, and preserves the giving and thanking bit which I feel is important. All 3 children have learnt to thank properly and to say something nice about what they are given. This way the presents never get opened in front of the other parents, though, so I handle any hitches. And I do the thanking when the parents come and pick up their children. But I suppose we always do small parties (no more than 8 or 9 children), and we don't even start having parties before their fourth birthday. The other thing is, over here it has become sort of compulsory to give a little something to each child who has come to the party, which really grates on me, so when possible I try and get the birthday child to make a little present for each guest (a candle, or a soap, or a decoration for the Christmas tree) and they help me wrap it up nicely. Do you do that in England too?

fsmail · 03/04/2006 18:50

I always wait till afterwards so I know who has bought what for thank you notes.

fsmail · 03/04/2006 18:52

By the way has anyone used Mumsincontrol to organise a children's party? I believe they organise the whole thing for you.

hulababy · 03/04/2006 18:56

Corin - here we have party bags that each child takes home after the party. These contain the cake normally and some form of sweets and gifts. This year I gave each child a large envelope. In it was a small book and a couple of mini chocolate bars.

pebblemum · 04/04/2006 00:45

We always wait until after the party before opening presents/cards unless it is a small gathering at home otherwise you lose track of who gave what etc. I agree it would be nice to do it at the time but it just isnt practical when you are trying to keep an eye on around 20-30 kids.

I am suprised by the presents that are given nowadays. when I was small it was mainly colouring books, pens etc maybe a cheap game or doll but DS1 has been given Acion men, MB board games dvd's, PS2 games etc. Last year he was even given a proper set of metal goal posts by a classmate Shock. The funny thing was DS1 really wanted some colouring pens for his birthday and no one gave him any yet when I was younger I would have had at least two sets!!

carol3 · 04/04/2006 01:49

on the party present theme, I remember when my ds1 was going to be 6, and several mums had asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and he told them he would prefer the cash !Blush I didn't find this out until the party when a couple of mums told me, was sooooo embarrassed.

OzJo · 04/04/2006 07:23

I have never been to a party where the kids didn't open the presents as they were given. Dd is nearly 3, so we haven't been to that many. I can thoroughly understand the logic behind it, but I think we'll stick to opening stuff but putting it away in the bedroom pretty quickly, unless she's happy to share.

3smallboys · 04/04/2006 12:31

I'd rather ds played with a whole lot of new presents on a day when I hadn't paid £150 for a musician. Anything for a quiet life (3 boys under 4 = no peace!)

3smallboys · 04/04/2006 12:32

meant magician - not getting much sleep at the mo!

mumeeee · 04/04/2006 15:12

Depends on the size of the party. I always liked mine to open thier presents at the party so they could say a pesonel thank you to the giver. They then were out straight into a bag to be played with later so nothing got lost. We never had moer the 10 at a party though.

Auntymandy · 04/04/2006 17:03

we always open after party

MummyToToby · 04/04/2006 20:35

at my godsons' party the present opening was done at the very end of the party just before everyone left. everything was left in its packaging and not played with until after the party. this worked well because the children and parents were thanked individually for their present. Even if they said after the party they didn't really like the present both of them still smiled gratefully(sp?) at the person who had given it to them. they did receive one present that someone else had bought them too, but luckily the mums+dads were very understanding and said where they had bought it from and that they could swap it for something different.

MummyToToby · 04/04/2006 20:35

at my godsons' party the present opening was done at the very end of the party just before everyone left. everything was left in its packaging and not played with until after the party. this worked well because the children and parents were thanked individually for their present. Even if they said after the party they didn't really like the present both of them still smiled gratefully(sp?) at the person who had given it to them. they did receive one present that someone else had bought them too, but luckily the mums+dads were very understanding and said where they had bought it from and that they could swap it for something different.

CatherineG · 04/04/2006 22:39

does no one else find party bags ludicrious???? And for a 1yo!!!!!!!! My mind boggles. Enev my friends who agree with me that there is no point still do them and spend £1+ on each child - WTF???

ds is 3.5 and has had one 'party', when he was 2 - two of his friends (plus a fried of mine who gatecrashed late with her two older dd's) came round to make fairy cakes, we had a few balloons, they played as normal then we ate the cakes and sang happy birthday.
He opened the presents there and then and said "thank you" (as well as he was able at the time).

I have yet to go to another party where presents are opened, I have also yet to go to another party where there was less than 15 kids.

He didnt have a 1st birthday party as I seriously didnt see the point and he knew no better, he didnt have a 3rd as we were on holiday (planned so that he couldnt have a party!).

He will probably have one this year and I will be going with the rule of thumb that he can invite as many friends as he is old (ie 4).
We will definately be opening presents.
We will definately NOT be having party bags.

I am not going to be a popular mum when he gets older am I!!!

sallystrawberry · 04/04/2006 22:41

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.