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Parties/celebrations

Whether you're planning a birthday or a hen do, you'll find plenty of ideas for your celebration on our Party forum.

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Original poster

Would you ask the parents to pay?

24 replies

Midgeroo · 26/09/2011 16:18

I'm planning my dd birthday party and the local theme park's deal looks good.

Half a day, party food & room, access to all rides and shows, queue jumping tickets for £10.50 per child. The cost in most of our local play centers is £12 or £15 per child.

However there is a catch...the adults need to pay to get it and the cost is £6.50, which is ok on it own but 1 child and 2 adults is £23.50 and for the minimum of 8 kids it's nearly £200! Too expensive for us.

Would you be expected to pay for the parents or is it fair to ask them to pay for themselves?

This is her first birthday party and I've no idea what the 'etiquette' is for these events...HELP!

OP posts:

SandStorm · 26/09/2011 16:18

How old is she?

bibbitybobbityhat · 26/09/2011 16:19

The etiquette is that you don't ask the parents to pay.

CristinadellaPizza · 26/09/2011 16:20

Are you expecting/needing the parents to go or are you happy if they don't (ie you will supervise all 8 children?). If you need them there, then I think you need to pay, if it's optional, then I think they pay themselves.

Not that I have a huge amount of experience in this area but that seems reasonable to me :)

Original poster

Midgeroo · 26/09/2011 16:22

It will be her 5th birthday party so some new school friends will be invited who I don't know.

My family and friends would probably chip in but I don't want to look like a 'cheeky' mother if it's not really the thing to do...

OP posts:

CristinadellaPizza · 26/09/2011 16:26

Ooh - 8 five year olds is a lot and there might be some that aren't happy to be left. I think then you are going to have to pay or change your plans I'm afraid :(

I was imagining they'd be around 8 or so

ruddynorah · 26/09/2011 16:28

No. You take her one best friend only with no parent, or you do a party you can pay fully for with the 8 children.

flowery · 26/09/2011 16:31

I think if you expect/need them, which at this age presumably you do, then you need to pay. But £10.50 plus £6.50 for an accompanying adult multiplied by 8 children isn't nearly £200 though is it?

RunsWithScissors · 26/09/2011 16:37

I think if you pay for just one parent, that would be fine. If the other parent wants to come, then they pay.

Original poster

Midgeroo · 26/09/2011 16:37

mmm, good point flowery...I was calculating 2 adults and 1 kid (in case both parents wanted to go) I suppose I could pay for one parent and if both wanted to come ask the extra adult to pay...? I think ruddynora is right I need to do a party that I can pay fully for... food for thought.

OP posts:

flowery · 26/09/2011 16:46

I can't imagine many families would have both parents taking their child to a birthday party, surely? I agree you do need to host a party you can pay for but I think paying for 8 children plus an accompanying adult to go definitely counts as fully paying.

Floggingmolly · 26/09/2011 16:52

No. You do not pay to take your child to a birthday party. If you can't afford a party with all bells and whistles, tone it down and stay within your budget. Don't ask for a contribution from guests.

ExitPursuedByaBear · 26/09/2011 16:54

We went to the Zoo once for a 4th birthday party and transport was laid on, plus entrance fee and they had provided lunch for us as well. Are you sure this is the best idea for a party?

vividgingerchilli · 02/10/2011 20:50

I would not ask them to pay, I'd have the party somewhere else. If I had to go to a party and had to pay £6.50 to get in then I would not be able to afford that and also buy the birthday child a present.

Bellavita · 02/10/2011 20:53

I agree with Bibbity.

AyesToTheRight · 02/10/2011 20:55

I think paying for one adult would be fine and if another wanted to come they should pay for themselves. If both parents came it would be likely that additional siblings would need to come and that would really add up.

marge2 · 02/10/2011 20:56

No way could you ask them to pay IMO. Totally out of order. Do a cheapo party if you can't afford to take them all somewhere expensive. Why should other parents pay through the nose for your childs party?

rookiemater · 02/10/2011 20:58

No you cannot ask parents to contribute to attending a birthday party. Clue is in the word "party" you are meant to be hosting it which means paying for costs

Hulababy · 02/10/2011 21:00

I think because of their age you need to cover the cost of one adult per child. You don't have to cover the cost of two adults though - just make sure people know that a second parent IS welcome but they would need to pay xxx to get in.

You can also say n the invite that if a parent cannot come that is fine and that you will ensure that there is adequate child:adult ratios - tbh at a a theme park I would still say one adult per child is necessary at age 5y.

DrinkYourWeakLemonDrinkNow · 02/10/2011 21:01

Agree, don't ask people to pay to be involved with birthday parties. Big etiquette no no.

Bohica · 02/10/2011 21:12

Another no, parties are expensive enough without paying to attend and if DD had an invite to a theme park at that age I would feel obliged to stay and make sure she is safe due to it being a public area and lots of moving around. A party in a hall with friends from school and mums I know I would tend to leave her as I have 3 children so we come as a package and 2 extra children at a party isn't normally welcomed unless it's a close friend.

roisin · 02/10/2011 21:18

Agree completely about the comments here on etiquette.

But I think you need to re-think your plans. A theme park for a 5th birthday party? I'd choose somewhere different. At this age they just want balloons and jelly& ice cream don't they?

Actually when ds2 was small a couple of times he chose an "outing" rather than a big party; but we only took a very small number of friends.

For his 5th birthday we took just 2 friends + brother out for the day on train then steam train, a walk to a waterfall, picnic lunch, then home again.

For another birthday (6th or 7th - I'm not sure) we went to the zoo, but we only took 4 of his mates then.

AyesToTheRight · 02/10/2011 21:26

I agree with roisin about venue - when ds was 6 we took 4 friends to a soft play, mcdonalds and then back to our house for a play and when he was 7 we took three friends to a semi local aquarium. Wouldn't have felt comfortable with 8 children at a theme park tbh even with other parents there - too stressful tbh.

Zipitydooda · 02/10/2011 21:57

It doesn't sound like a good idea for 8 5 year olds to me. What about children with siblings? if the 5 year old needs to be accompanied then the parent will have to bring the siblings (many families don't have 2 parents doing childcare) and a theme park is too large a venue for 5 year olds to be unaccompanied; I still won't let my 7 year old go unaccompanied to parties in public places.
You can't charge for attending a party.

cat64 · 02/10/2011 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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