I care for my 39 month old grandchild 3 nights/4 days a week. I love doing this. It’s been this way pretty much since birth except for a few months when mother stopped contact. I then went to court and have a court order (this was when GC was with mother and father)
My home is the only constant home that GC has ever had and she loves coming here. She has her own room and has all of our attention and love. I am disabled myself and while I wouldn’t change having GC for the world, I’m exhausted, but I do believe that it’s worth it to give GC the best life possible.
my son is the only bioparent in GC life but we do ‘co-parent’ very well. GC is very advanced and we are cohesive with her and how she is taught/disciplined.
Son got into a relationship with a single mum when GC was 20m old. Her child is a year younger than GC and is profoundly autistic. Not diagnosed yet as child is too young but it’s obvious to anyone. GF doesn’t seem to be doing anything to help him.
I’ve just found out that GF is pregnant. (Apparently an accident but i don’t know if I believe that)
I’m furious, like white hot rage furious. I can’t believe that my son would not put GC first, especially knowing what she went through.
I will not be able to look after a baby the same way I do GC but I also don’t agree with playing ‘favourites’. I lived that life and know how it feels to be not wanted and to watch cousins get to do things with grandparents, BUT I also don’t think my GC should have to suffer because of her dads poor choices. She already went through trauma as a baby and losing me and the close relationship we have would be devastating for her.
I will not be able to look after two children at the moment. If GC was older and more self sufficient it would be a different matter, I also don’t believe that they have thought about how difficult it will be to have 3 under 4 with at least one that will no doubt need lifelong care.
i can’t even talk to my son about it as i’m so angry that he’s not putting GC first and I know if I do I’ll rage and it won’t be pretty.
they don’t have room for another child, they don’t have room for the two that are living there, the GF is not a great mother if I’m honest, I’ve never seen her leave the sofa and even though I’ve tried to help her by advising her who to contact etc she doesn’t do anything about her child and his obvious disability. (He’s bigger and much stronger than my GC. He spends his days rocking, crawling around the room and smacking his head into things). GC dislikes that she has to share a room with him as he keeps her awake, she tries to be friends with him (she’s very loving) but if she tries to play with him etc he can’t/wont entertain it.
how do I work around this? I honestly don’t know what to do, my husband has tried talking to me and I just shut him down because I can’t do it. He’s very much ‘what’s done is done’ but I can’t get there because I CANNOT give the same care to another child that I give to GC while she still needs me so much, I physically can’t do it and the anger is eating me up.