Worried about my son who can’t find anywhere to live.

[justacastle]

(nc for this)
DS finished university and has spent 18 months applying for jobs (450+). A few interviews who say they recruited internally or need someone with more experience (that old chestnut). Most just never reply. We live in London.

He finally gets a job but it’s in Oxfordshire. The company will let him stay at their accommodation (usually for customers) for a maximum of two weeks.

He cannot find any accommodation after this time. He has tried spare room app but when he gets a response people are asking for females only or more often there is no reply. He messages them a couple more times but nothing.

He doesn’t drive but willing to walk/cycle. He does have T1 diabetes so that is a consideration with distance.

He then put an ‘I’m looking for’ ad another site and a woman contacted him to say that, following throat surgery, she would be renting out her 2 bed house and moving in with family. It looked amazing and the woman said that the bills & council tax. A 25 minute walk to work. Paid the holding fee and arranged viewing for Sunday (he starts work on Monday).

DS was excited about job & house finally the months of angst were coming to an end.

So this morning he received an email from the lady saying that the rental company (?) wanted an extra £750 deposit before they would let him view the property. She said that she would pay £500 but he would need to pay another £250.

DS asked who this company was (not found on companies house) and their contact details so he could discuss it with them. She replied that they ’do not speak to prospective tenants’.

She also sent him her passport details by email as proof of her identity. Trouble was that the Passport had a spelling mistake in her name 🙄 🚩

Bank notified & they’re dealing with it.

Big problem is now DS is starting work on Monday but will have nowhere to live by the end of the month. As it’s quite a tourist area the Airbnbs and bed & breakfasts are thousands. He’s on the list at local estate agents but he has no salary history yet. They are really out of his price range but we’ll help him.

Just as an aside UC have paid him nothing for months, just the odd £15 here and there.

He’s desperately worried that he will lose his job.

Any ideas folks?
I’m so sorry for the long post.

Just call it a feeling that he’s naive, vulnerable.

Shame he hasn’t learned to drive as that will be holding him back in all likelihood

Reading much more lively for his age than Wallingford - I think that’s good shout.

As others have said, please try local Facebook groups. People always seem to have success within a few replies and weekly boarders would be very attractive to potential homeowners who would prefer weekends to themselves. It works very well in Chichester.

Good idea. When dd needed short term accommodation for a placement she advertised on fb and was offered a room by someone working in a similar field who had previously had lodgers.

Can he not buy a bike for now? Maybe not ideal but second class riding is better than first class walking. For the first year of my apprenticeship I cycled 13 miles each way 5 days a week. And this was in the north. I soon got my driving license!!

The op has said he has type one diabetes, that makes cycling complex, it could also rule or driving altogether, or on a fairly regular basis.

You need to get over this. If he's just finished Uni I imagine he's on a pump? Yes stress and exercise can influence BM but he should be able to manage it at 20+. My DC of similar age does a very physical and stressful job and manages pretty well. Your comments really do give the impression you don't want your son to succeed.

What kind of job has he found, OP?

Thank you for all the suggestions. I have passed them all on and he is feeling slightly less anxious. He has contacted some places in Didcot and Reading. He also plans to ask his employer for assistance.

To answer a few questions:
He is not worried about new places/people- he moved to university in Wales without knowing anyone. He makes friends easily.

The company selected him from nearly 700 applicants so I don’t think they are desperate for anyone.
It’s a field that he studied at university and is interested in.

Ill let you know how he gets on.

Thanks again, a really helpful bunch on here ❤️

That sounds promising, OP.

I would give the Estate Agents who have the little flats available a call tomorrow.

I imagine that they would be keen to help a young professional moving to join a reputable local company.

https://www.inhouseestateagents.co.uk/properties-to-let/property/2785-brewhouse-yard-wallingford

https://www.inhouseestateagents.co.uk/properties-to-let/property/2782-brewhouse-yard-wallingford

What’s his monthly budget?

Has he tried Kidlington? very easy to commute from and they have a Facebook village page. He could maybe put an ad on there? Good luck and I hope he finds somewhere.

Good luck to him. It's so hard getting started nowadays. Hopefully it all works out.

How dare you tell me to ‘get over this’.

We have been living with T1 since he was 3 and on MDI. He dealt with his treatment himself as a young child as his first primary school refused to support him.

We have always encouraged him to be active and as a scout he cycled across Europe (no we didn’t go).

He moved to Wales and dealt with everything there with no little support from the university. He has held down very physically demanding summer jobs.

Over exertion and stress can bring on persistent hypos. He was once hospitalised because he had constant hypos despite disconnecting his pump and eating a giant bag of haribos. I do feel anxious about him being alone with a persistent hypo (though he wouldn’t know I was). It doesn’t help that a friend’s cousin died this way. He doesn’t know about him either.

Just because our children are adults doesn’t mean we don’t still worry about them; we just do it more privately.

Anyone who knows me would tell you that I am very supportive of my dc and want them to have happy, fulfilled and independent lives.

I’m sure you know that each person with T1 is different and I would never presume to tell anyone how to manage it in their family. I’m genuinely happy that your dd is doing so well.

Anyway, have a good weekend 💙

If his employer is one of the big ones on the Howberry Business Park I would imagine there will be plenty of folk commuting by bus or by train to Didcot Parkway then bus. Reading is a university town so he should be able to find a house share or room. Just be careful of the area as the bit around Oxford Road close to town is not the nicest. or Oxford, also should be able to find a rental. there are a few major science employers close to Didcot so that’s another option for sharing with other young professionals.

I see that the Wallingford Medical Practice has special clinics for Diabetes, OP, should he find somewhere to live in Wallingford itself.

https://www.wallingfordmedicalpractice.co.uk/clinics-and-services/services/chronic-disease-review-clinics/

Have you thought about SAGA - I've read about a scheme they have placing lodgers in with elderly home owners, so lodger gets good accommodation and old person has company and sense of security.

No caring involved, just their presence evening's and weekends when not out.

I thought it was a great idea.

Could he camp (at a proper campsite) Mon-Thurs night and head home for the weekend while the weather is still decent. That might buy him time to find a room, maybe even through speaking to colleagues etc.

Youth hostel or a cheap hotel?

OMG I hate scammers. Hoping the bank sort it, but also report to the police.

I know he's spent ages looking, did he also look here https://www.openrent.co.uk/properties-to-rent/oxford/rooms?

It's expensive to rent in Oxford cos you're fighting with students and landlords are greedy.

He needs to start his job. Hopefully one of his colleagues will know someone with a room to rent. I'd also look on Airbnb and ask about long term rental, we're heading out of peak season so he may get lucky.

Lots of rooms to let in Reading and a bus journey in each day.

Booking.com- tends to be cheaper and a wider range than AirBNB, could tide him over until the estate agents come through.

Lots of rooms in Didcot, and only 18 minutes on the bus to Wallingford. I live near there and whilst it’s not the most amazing place you’ll ever go, it’s got the amenities he’ll need. Hope he finds something.

I think just go for the job and take the 2 weeks they’ve offered.
Hopefully there is other young people who are working there who house-share and may be know the local area better and can help him, or someone with a spare room who’d be grateful of some extra cash.
Hopefully he’ll find something.

It's a bit of a long shot but you could try contacting the King's Trust for financial support to tide over til pay day. I didn't know they did this but on my work intranet there was something about a new starter (HCA) who had support for her travel expenses for her first month from the King's Trust.

I suspect this support is given to those who have been helped into employment via the trust, rather than someone simply seeking support to tide them over, so it's a long shot but you could try ringing and asking.

www.kingstrust.org.uk/how-we-can-help