Thread 56 – Covid GCSE Cohort – Spring 26 – Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[crazycrofter]

The old thread has filled up and no one noticed - I think we're missing @oblomov26 sharp eyes!

I've tried to tag in everyone I can think of, but apologies to anyone I've missed!
@shimy @endlessdistraction @justherewithmypopcorn @mummyinbeds @aslockton @oubliettebravo @craggyrat @anothernewname460 @ealingwestmum @ewwsprouts @seeline @piggywaspushed @nctdn @icanbewhatiwant @comefromaway @heifer @kingscotestaff @delphigirl @zebracat @cantonet @socks1107 @blinkbonny @anneofcleavage

Thanks @Cantonet sorry you've got so much on your plate at the moment

Sorry to hear about all the elderly family members who are struggling and needing support - especially when they don't treat you very well. That's so hard 😬

Hope your ds settles in to his student house @cantonet - and his new course. It's such a worry when they're having a wobble, but at least he's communicating with you and is willing to seek help if need be.

My ds (also one of the ADHDers on here) has been struggling with OCD the last few months - mainly intrusive thoughts and overthinking. He's got a consultation lined up with a psychologist who looks perfect; I really hope he gels with him and he can start therapy soon.

They are back . They haven't fallen out (maybe it's me!)

He was shown a couple of dives but has secured something that DH described as 'in a different league' from Spare Room - so heartfelt thanks for that tip off, MN friends!

Hopefully, his employment contract comes soon , the landlord isn't a fake and all will be well!

Oh that is so lovely @ealingwestmum , I'm delighted for you (and her)! I was thinking about you the other day as my eldest dd is buying a family house in Acton (near Churchfield Road) with her boyfriend so probably not a million miles from you. I think I can discern from that that the relationship is likely permanent - I'm pleased, he is a very nice man and they seem very happy.

really sorry to hear about issues with elderlys in particular @Aslockton @Cantonet - it is very emotionally wearing as well as physically tiring I know

Wow, such a small world @Delphigirl I do indeed know that area well, my gym is on Churchfield Rd :)

It’s a great road too for coffee shops and several brunch type independents running parallel to Acton High St which whilst a completely different vibe to C Rd, you still have a great range of ethnic supermarkets if their cuisine tastes are broader than the standard British. And of course, Chiswick round the corner, or Ealing if they fancy slumming it 😂

Fab news on the Spareroom find @Piggywaspushed, 🤞 the contract is straightforward too.

@Seeline Has she any experience of managing others from any work whatsoever? https://www.museumdevelopmentnorth.org.uk/east-riding-museums-museum-technician/

Sort of reassuring to hear others' parents are as stubborn over risks.

I've made a appt for ds with a specialist mental health nurse this week. He has said he doesn't want me to join in on the call. It's the same guy who deals with all our ADHD prescribing.Ds has Adhd & autism & I suspect sharing a bathroom is really hard for him.
Thank you @Delphigirl & @Shimy/@crazycrofter.
Sorry to hear your ds also needs help.

How lovely to hear so many positive job updates. Dd still frantically applying here but getting nowhere. It’s hard not to become a bit despondent but I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end. She’s currently applying for very similar jobs to your dd @Seeline but might have to widen the net soon. Onwards…

Good luck to your dd too @cariadambyth ! Hopefully this group can reassure you - lots of people in the same boat but the jobs are happening eventually.

@Cantonet i originally thought Ds was autistic (from age 5 really) but he didn’t tick enough boxes at 13. I’m still sure he’s autistic though… He’s also going to be sharing a bathroom this year - with strangers, because he’s doing semester 2 abroad, so he had to get uni accommodation for this term.

Good news about the house @Piggywaspushed 👏

To anyone still out there job hunting - apologies of they already do this - but as suggested above, dd took the line of applying to smaller places where AI bots didn’t seem to get involved. Her interview came from places where the applications were actually read by humans rather than being sifted out at the first stage because a key word was missing. I’m obv not saying that’s the answer but dd applied to hundreds of jobs and the only ones that got her to interviews were non AI filtered ones.

Thank you, it is encouraging and exciting to hear of others getting jobs. I’m sure something will turn up and I’m actually really enjoying having her home again, we dropped DS off for his first year at university on Saturday and I wasn’t ready for an empty nest!

Thanks to all for job hunting tips. And to @EwwSprouts for the job - she has limited management experience as a senior ambassador at uni, but the rest of the job is quite high level for the sector. A salary of £30+ would be about £3-5k higher than the level she would be getting - even in London 🙁
I agree that AI really doesn't help but I don't think many of the museum-type places are big enough to use it.
Good luck to all still searching, and it's great to hear that some have been successful!

Wishing your ds good luck with his appt @Cantonet . Hope the nurse 'gets' him and is able to reassure him.

Thank you @Shimy🤞🏼I do hope so too. He doesn't really talk to me about things much.
Interesting @crazycrofter you thought your ds might be autistic quite young. Ds showed signs of ADHD as a very young child - he was very wild and used to cut all his labels out of his school shirts. But no signs of autism until he started feeling feeling strange at adolescence. He did walk early for a boy though - 8 months and that can be a sign I think.

We were pretty sure DS was autistic by about age 2 or 3, he was a very late walker though, about 18 months. It was all the social stuff where he was different to the others his age. Didn't suspect a thing with DD till dyslexia mid way through primary school, then at about 16 she said she thought she had ADHD and probably autism, she is diagnosed with ADHD but didn't push for autism. Classic girl masking behaviour.

Actually it was by when DD was born, so 2 ish, he was diagnosed age 7.

Yes @EffortlesslyDistracted it's interesting how girls mask. Plus, I also think girls present very differently for adhd. Dd2 went from the most perfect popular leader material all rounder at junior school and early secondary to a sudden crash in a very academic school at 15. She recovered once diagnosed and medicated but her main symptoms were bad anxiety and incessant online shopping . I'm not sure there's any advantage to being diagnosed autistic post secondary school?

Sorry @EffortlesslyDistracted it was ds's psychiatrist who said that to me!

@Cantonet I suppose a diagnosis helps to understand oneself better even if they don't require additional support in any way. E.g why they feel overstimulated or anxious in certain situations where most people are calm.

I have an in law who is very socially akward. Cracks odd jokes, gets close up in people's faces, super anxious about simple things most adults can handle e.g making sure the fuel tank has enough in it before going out. There's a lot more than that. The recent death of their parent has really shone a light on how much they are struggling with 'adulting' .They have blundered through life like that. We were talking about it a while ago when DH happened to mention that the relative throughout childhood/teens always walked on tip toe. It made me wonder if they had ever considered Autism?

Yes @Shimy i have heard that tiptoe walking can show you're on the spectrum somewhere. We have one in our extended family. But my dad ( retired doctor) has said he reckons he's autistic and one cousin is and DH almost certainly is. So its not surprising that ds is.
We haven't gone for a official diagnoses for ds as his psychiatrist has said it wouldn't confer any advantage.
But it is on his medical notes although a fair number of Adhd symptoms overlap with autistic characteristics anyway.

Dd was diagnosed with ADHD during the first or second year of uni and then autism as well last year. It’s helped her understand herself and find solutions to things she’s struggled with. It’s also really helped me understand her. I used to be so puzzled as to why she seemed to have no problems making friends and was very sociable (almost obsessively so!), but yet would suddenly experience massive social anxiety at times. Also, she had a lot of sensory issues which I didn’t pick up on at the time - I just thought she was being awkward.

i used to mainly think of autism as being about social problems so it never occurred to me that Dh was autistic - however he has soo many sensory issues (we’ve never been allowed the main lights on in any room!), lots of very strict rules /routines he has to follow and anxiety about lots of things. He also tiptoe walks! I do think it really helps people to understand themselves if they have a diagnosis, or even if they just recognise it in themselves/self-diagnose.

Gosh @crazycrofter I didn't realise your DD had been diagnosed as autistic as well. I remember you talking about her frantic social life and lots of parties.Does she needs a lot of Down time as well? I must admit I dont like bright lights either😂
Ds1 started his internship last week and is really enjoying it.
It's a pain having to book him into air bnb's for 3 days every week though.

Thanks for updated list @Aslockton , can't believe how well they are all doing.

That’s good @Cantonet - what’s he doing and how long is the internship for? This isn’t the job with your dh then, is that off the cards? Sorry I’m sure you’ve said already,

Yes, dd needs downtime in between all the manic socialising. I did used to wonder why she came home so often, especially in years 1 and 2, despite having made loads of friends and seemingly loving uni. I think there’s quite a lot of conflict between her ADHD and autism - she’s all over the place and finds it almost impossible to get into a routine, yet she also craves routine, for example.