Uni student DD won’t/can’t get a job!

[sweetkitty]

DD2 is in 2nd year at uni (we’re in Scotland) she enjoys it & has a flat with her bestie. She gets a student loan which pays for her rent with a little left over. I give her £160 a month for food etc so £40 per week.

She understands most students have a PT job whilst at uni but apparently she can’t find one. First year ok she was settling in, then she came home for 4 months and did absolutely nothing. Best friend organised the flat and it’s in one of the most central streets in the city, think coffee shops, independent shops, pubs on her street. Loads of shops within walking distance too. She says she’s looked and applied but as she has no experience she doesn’t get interviews (she’s only had one).

Now it’s coming up to Christmas loads of adverts for temp work but she’s done nothing. She whinges about being poor etc won’t actively job hunt but does she have to if I’m paying for her food? I can’t stop paying for it I don’t want her to starve but at the same time even a few hours a week somewhere would help.

Also I suspect she has ASD but she’s never been formally diagnosed as she didn’t see the point. She doesn’t go out or socialise. I do think she has social anxiety and hates talking to people.

Has she tried looking for something with the uni? My eldest got a job helping in the first year practical labs once he was in the third year (I think he was a demonstrator) and my youngest has just got a student ambassador position. Both of these are quite casual but add up to some extra money for "treats" and fit in well around studying.

she has no experience

WHY? Did she not have a Saturday/part time job during secondary school? How did she support herself when she was home for 4mths? Did you provide handouts then also?

High street retailers/cafes are not that great for students as they don't really want temporary workers. There is a high cost to recruitment when they know students will have high turnover.

The recruitment is often centralised, apply online with assessments, then if you are offered a job you may get hours assigned that don't suit the course. I'm addition they won't allow holidays over busy periods. One of mine had a job at a high street place. They wanted a minimum of 20 hours per week for minimum annual holidays and they were allocated shifts without consultation so they could get a shift pattern for the week after that wasn't possible.

The NI increase also affects student jobs so companies are simply not hiring. The budget is creating further uncertainty.

Help her to target some independents or alternative jobs such cleaning/baby sitting/dog walking..none are that great for students hours but likely to pay fairly well.

I have one with ASD and there is absolutely no way that he would be able to cope with working in a busy cafe or shop, he would hate it. He's working as a software engineer and loves that - but in a shop/cafe he would be frankly useless.

I do think though that it's really important for your dd to have some things on her CV beyond her degree, and it will really benefit her to have other things to talk about at interview when she is looking for a full time role. Are there any jobs at her uni like helping out with open days and that sort of thing maybe? Although it does require social skills, people tend to be nice and polite at those events, and it can feel safer because it's her turf.

There are likely to be questions about working as part of a team and even possibly about leadership skills at FT roles after uni so it's a really good idea for her to get involved in things that may lead to those kind of experiences. It doesn't have to be through working, could be getting really involved with an (ideally relevant) society and then helping to run it for example.

I really think it's worth her thinking about the future and how she is going to make herself stand out from the thousands of other people all looking for roles after uni. I would be giving her lots of support on this though, DS had a lot of support, encouragement and pushing to get him where he is. I wouldn't reduce her money though as it is very difficult when you have ASD, but I would be telling her that she needs to be thinking about her CV and how she is going to compete - and going through lots of different things that she might do to help her stand out.

And sorry to be pedantic but £160 a month works out at £36.92 a week.

So if you’re helping with budgeting it might be useful to start with the right amount

It’s the same in Manchester, loads of students and not many part-time jobs. Lots of supermarkets and retail have cut their staff right down (self serve tills).

What about shelf stacking or similar behind the doors work in a supermarket. They are usually flexible with hours too.

Those jobs are taken now by people who need them to pay a mortgage etc.
Jobs that were traditionally "for students" are taken by non students

You know your DD best but what motivates her?
The university is likely to have a student jobs service (maybe it's an online thing nowadays). Does she check it regularly?
Most of my 6th form age students either work in pubs, cafes or shops or else coach a sport, or tutor.
DH is a university lecturer and his students sometimes take work as ambassadors for the university and/or his Engineering department specifically.
I didn't work in term time myself apart from the odd one-off thing (costs were much much lower then though) but I did have a job in a newsagent at home and would return to it every holiday.
Maybe finding something at home for the Christmas holiday would be more doable. You could help her find some 6th form students needing tutoring, for example, and she could continue remotely once back at university?

It’s insane to me that a 19/20 year old has never worked. I worked since I was 14, it’s done me no end of good. I’d be cutting back on the money you give her. She’ll struggle so much after uni otherwise, with no worn experience

In fairness these sort of jobs which used to be easy to come by are much more difficult these days though I accept there may be local variations. A friend’s son applied for over 100 waiting/shop jobs as a student before he got one.

I was reading something on Reddit about someone in Manchester who can’t get a bar/barista/shop job and has applied for hundreds and he has retail experience and references. Barista jobs are apparently asking for 4 years barista experience….for a minimum wage job!

In my experience, it is very difficult these days for young people to get part time jobs. I know many who have hunted high and low and taken forever to find anything. My 18yo nephew who is a y1 student only just got his 1st job in mid August. He started looking when he was 16. He is polite, intelligent and scrubs up nicely.

Both my DCs managed it by qualifying as lifeguards. There is a shortage of lifeguards (at least in England), so that is one job that is relatively easy to get. The qualification takes a week and costs £300. You obviously need to be able to swim and feel confident in water but you don't have to be an amazing swimmer.

Totally agree. She’d starve if the OP cut her money. She gets less than £40 a week to spend on food! I can’t begin to imagine how she’s managing on that to be honest! I’m sure people will say it’s possible and that they feed a family of 8 on the same but blimey it must be hard.

Send her a weekly food shop instead she won't starve but might be motivated

A good way to get experience is to volunteer - there is no way she wouldn't get a position as a volunteer, everywhere is crying out for them. Why isn't she applying for volunteer roles? She won't be worse off financially but she will be making a productive use of her time and gaining valuable experience.

My DDs had similar situation. Loan covered rent, I sent £150 per month for food. But they had to get jobs if they wanted any sort of social life. Both got jobs in a few weeks of starting uni.
mcdonalds and kfc often need staff. Or pubs.
if she doesn’t want a job fair enough but then she will be poor.

Well that sounds abusive to me not to buy clothes for a 14 year which you are supposed to be supporting.

An autistic girl of my acquaintance had her dad taking her on gardening/painting and decorating jobs until she reached the point where she could do painting and decorating jobs herself. Gardening is simpler overall. It sounds like she needs a ramp to help her, but also a clear model that just not doing any work because she loathes social jobs doesn’t mean she can’t or doesn’t have to work.

What’s the degree

I doubt this would help a potentially ND student who already seems socially isolated.

A lot of places, wouldn't take 14 year old now. One of the charity shops DD enquired in to volunteer, required you to be over 18. My DD had a job at 14 assisting younger kids at her sports club, it doesnt seem to have helped secure a job while she's at uni, despite applying for lots of jobs.

Even jobs that are 8 hour contracts want to to be available every day, its in a way reassuring but also depressing that others YP are finding the job search tough

It is not just Christmas that is coming up - it is also exams.

If she is likely autistic then get her assessed by the university - they don’t do a diagnostic level assessment (which you would likely wait many years for under the NHS) but a ‘probable’ assessment and looking at support needs. If she is autistic then the demands of student life could be all she could manage and the time at home needed to decompress. The extra pressure of a job could throw everything out, so if she does find a job be prepared for her to have to stop it quickly in order to manage overall.

It isn't always easy for students to get a job especially without experience and social difficulties. I work in a restaurant and for the last job vacancy we had, we received over 600 applications - it was absolutely impossible to interview everyone and the ones without experience got a rejection without even a phone call.

By all means, check in with her that she's applying for jobs, but I wouldn't stop supporting her.

My DS1 has diagnosed ASD. He worked right through uni, got a first. He is now doing a masters and working
he left home at 18 and hardly ever asked me for a penny through uni

its perfectly doable, he’s in Liverpool

Have you never heard the expression ‘if you have met one person with ASD, you have met one person with ASD’? It is not ‘perfectly doable’ for all. I am surprised you have a child with ASD and need to be told that.

If you have been lucky enough to find a job straight away that doesn’t invalidate the experience of students who are trying unsuccessfully for years.