Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

Hi @socks1107 definitely remember you. Welcome back! A first and a job is much to be proud of and celebrate. Enjoy the day.

That's such good news @socks1107 , well done her. Its always nice to hear how our dc with setbacks have gone on to flourish. An e-commerce trader, I've never heard of, but it sounds very important!

So many updates in a what seems just a few days!

@Delphigirl I think you have done brilliantly in a very difficult situation. However much we want something for our children we ultimately need to support their decisions (unless it's criminal or dangerous obvs!) and at least she has realised early on that it wasn't for her.

@socks1107 Amazing news, congratulations to your DD!

@Shimy and @NCTDN there are so many areas where environmental matters are a priority now, but I think we just don't think about them if its not your field. As an architect there is so much focus on environmental and sustainability now so the building industry is somewhere to look perhaps, also - and this may sound a bit meh but - the waste management industries, big developments going on in terms of carbon and methane capture and converting unrecyclable plastics to hydrogen fuels etc. Also bringing in the AI side of things, perhaps looking into the environmental impacts of data centres and what is being done to help prevent that potential disaster.

My updates are less interesting. DS1 now backing away from sitting his SQE1 in January saying he's not ready. I'm trying to take my own advice here and be OK with it all but ultimately he's just been lazy in preparing for it so I'm a bit annoyed. He's also looking to invest money given to him by us (for a life time purchase such as mortgage deposit) on the stock market with no experience of this at all rather than in a high interest account. He is unwilling to listen or understand that this pot is not risk taking money and, should the investments drop like a stone for any of many reasons, the money is gone and there's no more funds for us to give.

DS2 is currently pretending to be interested in applying to uni although he says he definitely wants to go. I've been trying to get him to do his PS but he has no interest in it. I drafted one based on the miniscule input from him and some of the stuff he's been doing and reading but his form tutor said it wasn't very good and didn't show his 'passion' , I have 'helped' him re-write it this half term and asked someone else to read it who said the same thing! 😫 The thing is I know nothing about his subject and so can't get that emotion up and, in all honesty, I don't think he is passionate about it, he just enjoys it. As a not very confident science boy he's finding it difficult to write this sales pitch of passion and I'm tearing my hair out trying to motivate him and help him. Oh and he still hasn't managed to get himself a job and I'm so desperate for him to find something I'm spending hours and hours applying for him when he's at school but without experience he's getting nothing back.

I'm mentally exhausted at the moment.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn Thanks, those are wonderful ideas and will pass them all on, though i get the feeling sometimes it's all going in one ear and coming out the other with nods and grunts in between. I don't know how much of what im passing on he's actually acting on.

How does SQE work? do they only have one chance at passing it? perhaps if he really isint prepared for it he making the best decision to delay it though i feel your frustration that he should've been prepared. DH and i have had the exact same convo with DS about his placement money in his case. The initial plan was both DS's would put it into a LISA (before it disappears) and use it towards mortgage. Ds1 listened. DS2 is now saying he wants to invest in stocks and shares. Also has no experience, though if you tell him that, he gets ever so cross. I also fear the whole lot will vanish soon & he'll have neither LISA nor investments. You can lead a horse to the water...

Re: your ds2, i'm not convinced 'passion' for the subject is all its cracked up to be. I think liking the subject is always a good start. I had zero passion for my subject when i went to uni. It was just something i was vaguely interested in and i knew i'd get a job at the end of it because it was trendy (I.T). DH studied Physics and had zero 'passion' for it, it just fell in his lap and he took it. He didn't hate it, just not passionate about it.
Most people just make up the 'passion' in their PS. 'Fake it till you make it', sort of. If he likes it and can explain rationally why he wants to study it, it should fly. That is of course unless the PS is for Oxbridge or its ilk, then he might have a bit of a problem convincing at interview. Even Oxbridge applicants can make it up; most just wanted to go there.

Thanks @Shimy , I think that all of us here are living parallel lives to some degree! 😂 I also suggested the LISA but it's only 4k a year so he dismissed that even though a part of his money is protected and you get 25% bonus. He genuinely thinks I have no clue about investing despite having shares myself and lost huge amounts in a PEP back in the day so know how easily you can lose it.

The SQE I think you can take it about three times but you pay each time so I fully understand wanting to be prepared but I thought he was doing that. I'm frustrated but have said it's entirely up to him whether he takes it or not (perhaps in a slightly irritated tone to be fair!)

I agree entirely about the passion thing. Why can't you just be interested and enjoying it? It just seems to be the thing these days as part of making yourself seem more worthy than the other applicants I guess. I have asked him to make some notes about why he wants to do it and which bits he most enjoys, not as a formal bit of writing just notes, and then I'll try and help him word it again. No Oxbridge or other super top unis but Bath, Notts and Sheffield are top of his list in that order.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorncould your ds invest his money into a stocks & shares ISA? I have had one for a few years & you can specify whether to want a low/medium or high risk portfolio. Mine is a medium risk one & the return is much much higher than a standard ISA. It did bounce very badly after the trump effect but has since returned to it's normal value .

i am glad this thread is still going. My DD1 is in her 3rd year medicine ( missed the A level grade initially). She is really happy and settled - don’t think she will ever return home. DD2 also took a year out so started Uni this year - seems to be settling in ok, 3rd DD is now in year 12 just starting sixth form.
the girls are all doing well and its lovely to see them develop into young women. Quite strong minded but still slightly fragile . Good to hear how everyone else is doing. ( I used to post under coffee and biscuit time. )

@Cantonet I’d much prefer he did that, can I ask what one did you pick?

@unhappybutunsureofwork lovely to hear that your Dads are all doing so well!

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn I feel your pain. DS has definitely become someone who doesn't listen to advice and thinks we are clueless most of the time. I think hes finding the transition to being at home again difficult - as are we! I inherited some money 18 years ago from a family friend and earmarked an amount for a house deposit for when DS was an adult. As it was left to me hes not getting his hands on it until we think it is the right time - and to be honest that time may never come as it isn't actually his!! We've doubled it and more in those years for him but he does basically think we are idiots im sure.... He has just started a stocks and shares ISA of his own volition so am hoping he is starting to take some fiscal responsibility.

This is the longest he has been home since starting uni. Tomorrow he begins history TA job. He had a week after archaeology job finished and went back to college to coach coxing. I think he needs to begin being an adult now. The student debt bothers me but I need to think of it as his debt. I'm hoping this year he will earn enough to fully fund Masters.

Nice to hear updates and returners to the thread.

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn Mine's with HSBC.

@craggyrat its probably just a normal adult progression to independence to decide your parents are doddery old fools. Originally I wasn't going to tell him about it yet but when he was planning on doing a year in the states it was the only way to potentially fund that and so I agreed with DH to sign it over to him. I knew it was a mistake! Just pray for him!😂

Good luck with your DS's job tomorrow!

Thanks @Cantonet, I'll take a look there.

@cantonet Have a look at Hargreaves & Lansdown, very good.

DS survived first day as history TA and enjoyed it - only a couple of hundred more to go!

Great news from @socks1107 and @unhappybutunsureofwork - lovely to hear from you!

Commiserations to those with headstrong boys @craggyrat @JustHereWithMyPopcorn - it’s frustrating but they have to find their own way! I must admit @JustHereWithMyPopcorn if i’d had any leeway back in the day as to when to do my ACA exams I’d probably not have done them! As it was, I put off the tax exams so long, everyone forgot I’d not done them, and then went and had a couple of babies and they were never mentioned again 🤣

@craggyrat glad day 1 went well!

Dd’s ADHD meds arrived! She’s not sure they’re making much difference yet as she’s on a low dose although she did have a productive gym session on day 1 🤣

Ds is home for reading week and slogging painfully slowly through his coursework. He seems to be really enjoying his course though - which is a win, considering this time last year he was applying for Real Estate, which turned into PPE by January, with a big focus on Economics - and he’s now just doing Politics/Int relations.

@Delphigirl how are things with your dd now that the dust has settled? Do you have any more clarity?

Lots to catch up on! DD has been home all week for Reading Week, which has been nice, she’s going back tomorrow but coming home again the last weekend in November for various events.

Re investments, ISAs etc, when I was about 30 I started sticking 100 a month in a stocks and shares ISA , I stopped paying in on maternity leave and wish I had started back up again, but I started cash ISA saving instead once I could afford it again and left it there, it has continued to grow well. But I started another S&S one on a different platform a couple of years ago, that really hasn’t performed and I am going to have to look at doing something else with it (maybe shift it to a tracker). The DCs have S&S child trust funds, DS’s matured into an ISA but has high charges and he really needs to move that, it hasn’t got huge amounts in it. DD’s I did get shifted to a junior ISA but it is on the same platform as my poor performing one and she STILL hasn’t set up her own login so can’t actually access it.

What is on the list for today is to get them both to open a LISA with a pound because I am worried they will disappear in the budget.

@crazycrofter I’ve accepted DS’s decision, it just irked me when he announced it the day before signing up. He’s been quite helpful to his brother today and has put his Eng Lit writing skills to good use in refining DS2’s personal statement, it now reads much better and he’s going to hand it in to school on Monday. Fingers crossed they are happier with this version!

I hope your DD’s meds start to help her soon, perhaps they have an accumulative effect and take a while to ‘kick in’? And lovely to hear your DS is enjoying his course.

@EndlessDistraction thats an excellent point about LISAs I think I might get both boys to do the same.

@crazycrofterit may take a while to titrate up to the right dose for your DD. Plus, sometimes you need to change the type of medication. I think it took 3-4 months for mine to acclimatise. Of course mine only take it when they need it now. On years out from Academia or on long holidays they have a complete break.

After a very stressful weekend, DS2 has now submitted his UCAS application. 🙌 I thought we were doing OK on Saturday, almost got a final draft of the PS on Sunday then found out last night the school want all the applications submitted by today at around 6pm last night! 😂 Cue mad panic doing final fixes on the PS and going through courses (oh yes, obvs he's changed his mind about the course he wants to do) and all the forms filled in and submitted by about 9pm. At least it's done now, hopefully school don't want him to amend too much before they send it off. And relax...

I don't have anything much of interest to post these days that don't involve the day to day challenges of elderly folk, that really boils down to the lack of support from siblings both sides to pick up the slack now and then. Or even once :(

But my DD seems to have taken a philosophical turn for the better to make the most of her last year. In 2 weeks from returning home for a few days, she's had mini holidays in Edinburgh/St Andrews, and is now returning from a long weekend away in Galway and in particular, Inishmore, which is one of the Aran Islands stuck in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. It has finally convinced my husband after much nagging from her that they really need to do a road to cover his long deceased dad's upbringing roots, Sligo being one of them.

This photo made me smile. Remember I'm a city gal so don't have the passion for nature, outdoors, birds like many of you on here but I could get there!
Happy Monday everyone, especially to those chasing away the Monday blues...

Ooh, it thinks image is sensitive!

Sounds very tiring @JustHereWithMyPopcorn.
Hopefully it's all good.
Those breaks sound lovely @ealingwestmum. Love the puzzled looking cows😄
It sounds as though you could really do with a break yourself.

Ds2 has apparently got an Xmas job working in a trendy place in Bristol, as a Chef again. I was surprised, as I thought he was sick of cheffing, after the long stint he did last year. But apparently not. He was just sick of working in a very understaffed pub.
This place has cool though & apparently the food is very good.

Thank you @Cantonet, was having a tiny moan really. We're off to Dublin for 3 days later in Nov that's been packed to the rafters so that's something to look forward to. And whilst it's so much to organise exhausting me before I leave (even putting the harness on needs an external visit), both our mothers dog sit in our house treating it like a mini break for themselves which is lovely. We're very lucky that they get on.

Hoping that button's been pressed by school @JustHereWithMyPopcorn, all in the hands of the gods now if so :)