Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

Sorry @EndlessDistraction we haven't used it all. No need to apologise for anything that's what we're all here for, support, sometimes it spills over from 'uni' chat to everyday life. For what it's worth, I do feel men put on the whole hands up in the air, 'I don't know what i'm doing", nonsense precisely because there's a woman who will come and take over so they never learn and the cycle keeps repeating itself. I wonder what would happen if you just delegated some tasks to him and left him to face the music, although i understand that might impact on your parents as well. Difficult.

Thanks @Shimy have tried that once or twice, it works for the smalI things but a lot of it does end up having to come to me as I'm the main contact for Dad's care home and all the finances. I am biding my time though, one of these days we are going to have a large house containing a LOT of stuff to clear and I am going to find I'm very busy in that period.

We took out Guarantor insurance when dd house shared in London. We didn't have to claim but I did get in contact with them over a situation that looked like it was going to escalate They were helpful but in the end it wasn;t necessary.

Ds has accepted a job as an accompanist on a new degree course so he is now going to be a staff member. It is only one day a week but he has got some other stuff lined up.

He just needs to sort somewhere to live for next year now.

@EndlessDistraction Please don't apologise for setting out the realities of life at the moment. This has always been a supportive group.

We didn't take out guarantor insurance. The tenancy contracts were a worry and seemed totally inflexible I decided on balance, if there was a money issue, the landlord was far more likely to go after the super wealthy parents of one of the other flatmates. It was only a flat of four and they all seemed sensible.

Thanks both, the guarantor insurance doesn't look particularly straightforward (there is only one provider in the UK now) but it doesn't have to be taken out till the tenancy starts so I don't have to decide now. I have no idea about the financial standing of any of the other parents. Hope we aren't the wealthiest, I doubt it. The credit checks were very thorough, I assumed that was confidential and details wouldn't be passed to the landlord other than pass/fail.

In our situation dd was taking the place of a leaving flatmate, she didn't know any of them and they were a mix of students and graduates.

@EndlessDistraction We didn't get to know anyone else's finances. It was a deduction based on one set of parents being retired, one flatmate in receipt of bursary and one set of parents owning multiple properties and the flatmate having gone to boarding school from 7.

@Comefromaway That is a very different situation and I too would have been far more cautious.

We haven’t used insurance but I also don’t think we’ve had to complete any forms for the last two or maybe all three houses? All of DD’s landlords have been at the more laid back end of the spectrum it seems. She says the current one is usually stoned 😩 I can imagine it’s a worry though, especially when you don’t really know the other housemates.

Well done to Ds @Comefromaway on his accompanist contract!

Yes well done @Comefromaway DS!

DS is home for Easter. He seems to be loving life in Newcastle. He’s obviously doing some work too, as he got 72% in his most recent exam (structural chemistry).

Today he got up early and headed out to play in the old boys football match. Because his friend wanted to make sure he knew someone there, and we only live round the corner!

Glad he's s loving Newcastle @OublietteBravo - great result for the chemistry!

Term finishes Friday. DS off to London Friday night as he's coxing in the Head of the River race for his home club and then staying down with his GF for a few days. Today is his ring round day for the 3 armed forces to check on progress...he does that every Monday.

My back surgery waiting list drags on. I've now been told list is a year, not 21 weeks. My GP is trying to force the issue as it is getting worse. I've also gone through my work BUPA now which I really didn't want to do but the thought of another 6 months like this is v depressing

How did the armed service ring-around go @craggyrat?

DD is back from deployment and home for 3 weeks over Easter. She is off abroad again later next month. Same country different area.

Hi @Aslockton - Navy said did v well on second lot of tests and hopefully some news soon re next step.. Army said medical should be coming up shortly and RAF is just painfully slow! How lovely to have your DD home for Easter

That all sounds promising @craggyrat. Is the 'second lot of tests' the DAA (Defence aptitude assessment) or the medical side of things?

Great news about your DS's job @Comefromaway .

@Aslockton he did the DAA ones and then these were extra ones - not sure if that was role specific or.not

@craggyrat Warship: Life on the Frontline is on Channel 5 at 9pm tonight. It was filmed last year whilst the Prince of Wales aircraft carrier was on its world tour. DD knew a film crew was aboard, but did not see them. You DS might be interested.

@Aslockton we watched last night on catchup. It was very interesting. DS enjoyed it so that's promising! Goodness me thats a lot responsibility in a role - made my work moans seem petty!

How is everyone doing?

We are away for Easter, so won’t be seeing either of our DC. We are visiting Cinque Terra in Italy. What a beautiful part of the world. We did 39k steps yesterday hiking between three of the 5 villages. It made me appreciate my health although there were plenty of walkers in their 70s along the way!

Have many YP got finals coming up? What are their plans post university? Any luck with job hunting? We have a few of DD’s friends coming to the end of grad schemes, hopefully with job offers at the end.

DS has settled into his house. His 16 year old car’s engine packed up the week after he moved so it was an expensive month replacing a car too. He is now out of savings. Luckily he got his house share deposit back and the rent from his lodger to live on.

All OK here thanks @Aslockton that sounds like a fabulous holiday. Glad DS has settled in well. DH and I are off to Gran Canaria sans DCs in a couple of weeks. Although as well as my parents needing a lot of support now DFIL has just had a cancer diagnosis and is scheduled for major surgery the week before we go so that’s a worry. He’s fit and well otherwise though (considering he’s nearly 90).

DD is home for Easter as of yesterday and seems to have got a house sorted for second year. DS has got another interview next week (still working PT and volunteering). He has managed to book a driving test to upgrade from auto to manual. That was a right palava as you can’t book online and by the time the phone lines open on Monday online people have taken all the slots, but we consulted ChatGPT for tips and he got one first call after that. Need to get a manual car now, he is getting my auto and I will get a manual, then he can practise in that and we will have it for if DD wants to learn manual. I’d rather not go back to manual TBH but short term pain for long term gain.

Just came in to say Happy Easter to everyone.
Ds has a couple of exams i think but seems to be remarkably laid back 🙄 DH had sorted a job for him but thinks it may not go ahead now. As the guy he would be working with may be sacked shortly - not good news!

 In other bad news I downloaded the HSBC app for DH so i could transfer money into an ISA before Sunday. It didn't work or transfer twice so I then transferred it stupidly to a current account & promptly lost 4 years ISA allowance 😭 I've phoned up the help line & they seem to think not much can be done. I'm so furious with myself 😤🥹

All ok here too @Aslockton thank you. DD is home for Easter - struggling to get her dissertation finished, as well as her final piece of coursework done. She doesn't have exams so that will be it. Has decided that a Masters straight afterwards isn't the best idea when she's still not really sure what she wants to do. Has applied for loads of random jobs with no success. So will have both DC back home full-time, which I don't think I'm entirely looking forward too. Especially with DS and DH working from home 3 days/week. And DD is not great with having no plans and nothing to do. Interesting times ahead I think.

Hi everyone and happy Easter! Nice to hear of the holidays! Good luck to ds for his interview next week @EndlessDistraction

Dd did one day before Easter in the special school job and it wasn’t great 😩 Basically they sound completely disorganised (didn’t seem to be expecting her, and didn’t know what to do with her!). She said the environment was very stressy, lots of shouty teachers, who also seemed to be bitching about each other and on two occasions she was left alone with kids, having had no training. First time one child hit another and the second time a girl attacked her! She emailed them the next day to ask for some training and guidance, but she’s not heard back. So she’s still applying for jobs… although she hasn’t resigned or anything. She has an interview for a support worker role on a male psychiatric ward but I think that could be horrendous 🤔

She’s also got loads of work to do, including her dissertation! Ds is also back but doing long hours at Tesco. He has some sort of online work /internship the week after next and a few assignments due too…

@Seeline that sounds quite a daunting prospect having both dc back! I hope it works out ok 🤞

@seeline ds is also doing his dissertation but was handed it late. I think he may have to apply for extra time to finish it. It's really difficult for him with ADHD to do long projects like this. I hear you on the full house & the possible stresses.
@crazycrofter that really doesn't sound fair on your daughter. Were they unusually short staffed that day?
If it's the usual environment it sounds like it could be a nightmare of a job.

@Cantonet Re ISA, I know it is not the end of the world, but I would be so cross too. I did not understand the SIPP rules and overpaid into mine, so will now have a hefty tax bill with interest. Very annoying.

@crazycrofter that job sounds awful. Definite red flags when staff are bitching about each other. That is not going to be a pleasant work/learning environment.

@EndlessDistraction I am sorry to hear about your FIL cancer. Major surgery at his age is tough.

Happy Easter everyone. My two are both home for Easter. DD is busy with her dissertation, DS is attempting to catch up on missed lectures but generally just sleeping. I'm relieved he doesn't have a dissertation to do but he does have six final exams which he won't revise for.
DS is worried about where life will take him next. I've told him to get his degree and then worry. I didn't get a proper job straight after graduation so I won't be pressuring him.
DD has applied for an online masters which she intends to do whilst traveling, most likely back to Ghana. Fingers crossed she gets an offer.
I'm currently 'up north' visiting my parents. DM has just been diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis which doesn't look good, DF is 86 and exhausted running round after her and Dsis is being a little off with them for reasons only known to her. She lives locally but they now refuse to ask her for help. I live 2-3 hours away so feel a bit helpless.