Thread 55 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Autumn 25 - Yr 4 Uni and Graduates

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 54:
Thread 54

We viewed this house twice but as soon as we saw it we knew it was the one, it is in a lovely location and they don’t come up often, I had driven along this road many times getting between our old house and my parents and always thought I’d like to live here. We kind of outgrew it (3 bed terrace no scope for extension without spending far more than you’d ever get back) and have thought about upsizing over the years, it’s not great for hosting as all the downstairs rooms are small and separate but we couldn’t bring ourselves to leave it and at least it will save us downsizing. The location is good not just because it has a view but is incredibly convenient for all the places we go as well.

@Aslockton I am so impressed with your DS housebuying. I am going to take a leaf out of your book and start paying into the DCs LISAs they each have a pound in one as a holding thing at the moment. I am in the middle of overhauling pensions, ISAs etc myself at the moment as it has all got complicated and am trying to manage my parents finances now too it’s all got a bit much. I loved Blood Brothers.

@craggyratyep…I love my food too. So it’s difficult to keep weight off. When I put the weight on I’d weigh myself and say it’s only a few lbs. Then a few more would go on and I’d say the same. It soon ends up being a stone or more. So now I weigh myself and if I’m a bit heavier I have to lose it again. But I still eat chocolate or nice things, just not as often as I’d like. My dm is very overweight and now housebound because she struggles to walk and is scared of falling, so I remind myself that I don’t want to be like that. I also took a photo of my fat belly and put it on my phone screensaver, every time I looked at my phone I saw my belly 😂 it worked as it made me more determined to lose the weight. I’m still a size 12 and 5’2” so not super skinny.

I'm only 5'1" so have to be really careful. This week's Valentine Meal Deals haven't helped! I actually weigh myself every day now. It sounds paranoid but I find it helpful as it makes me realise fluctuations are temporary.

Our house is v top heavy - small downstairs as has integral garage but four double bedrooms upstairs and a bathroom that is miniscule. That's a 1970 house for you. Harrogate is pretty expensive so when we come to downsize I don't think it will be much cheaper to get a smaller house in a good area so may be here for the foreseeable. I don't know why but DS refuses to get a LISA. I just don't understand him sometimes!

@craggyrat If your DS does a PGCE he will have a post grad loan too. This means an additional 6% of his wages will go to paying off his post grad loan, so 9% + 6% =15% of his wages in loan repayments for the next 30 years. If he goes in the Military and not into teaching, that is a big expense for the next 30 years for a qualification that he might not use. Would he stay as a TA for another year to see what happens with the military before taking on another loan? Alternatively, could he take the salaried route?

https://getintoteaching.education.gov.uk/funding-and-support/salaried-teacher-training

@icanbewhatiwant how did the family react from your ds being from a beef farming family to turning vegan?!
DD can’t get her head around the fact that lots of friends are looking at buying houses. She’s having no luck in the graduate market after a good start and down to a final few in an interview

@NCTDNds1 is vegan and ds2 is vegetarian. DH can’t understand it at all. Ds1 is doing it because of the damage animal farming does to the environment. He keeps telling us we shouldn’t be eating meat, then off he jets around the world, he keeps telling us flying isn’t anywhere near as bad an eating meat. I’m not convinced. He certainly doesn’t do it for love of animals as he doesn’t like them much, he walks round our kitchen saying “get out of my way” to the dogs and throws his shoes at them if they look at him eating. Ds2 is a vegetarian because he loves animals and doesn’t want to eat them. I understand that side of it. Ds3 says he’s never giving up meat. I do think we should eat less meat, I’d like to have at least one meal a week meat free. But dh and ds3 don’t agree with me.

@Aslockton I think he will self fund pgce as he has this year's earnings and I think he has got some funding ftom the university. He still hasn't given up the idea of teaching but if does get preferred option of Army Ed Officer thst would mean he would have secondary history pgce plus Army pgce for post 16 teaching which would help employability down the line plus Army wouldcthrn fund Masters etc. If he ever heard back ftom them that is...!

You might all remember me complaining at ds2 not getting admin stuff done. When he came home from the year at the university of Queensland he was meant to submit his flight, insurance and visa costs to SFE and they might pay some of it. I nagged from the start of July, he did fill in the forms back in August, but we did not hear back. So I went on at him to message SFE to ask. He wouldn’t. So I messaged them but they wouldn’t tell me. I messaged again over Christmas, they still wouldn’t tell me, but said to get Ds to check emails from August. He still didn’t do it. So, a few weeks ago I asked him to sign into sfe and give me his phone, he did, I messaged as him to ask why we had not heard anything. They said an email was sent back in August asking for flight proof etc to be uploaded. Ds doesn’t look at emails, so it was missed. I uploaded all the documents, Ds has just had £1,700 paid into his account from SFE. He has no proof of visa costs, otherwise he’d get most of that too. It makes me so mad that I had to do it all. He just won’t do admin. He kept saying we won’t get anything back towards costs. So I’m glad I did it all.

Oh honestly @icanbewhatiwant what is he like. My Dh is spectacularly slack at admin, drives me nuts. Always doing his tax return at 10pm on the 31st Jan etc.

Ds often messsges to say he’s been up all night trying to finish an essay that he’s left until last min. I have suggested starting his dissertation but he ignores me. I can see that being a panic.

His summer job employer says she’s never had anyone who doesn’t reply to emails like him. Every year he’s meant to fill forms out and watch a video online before he starts. He says there’s no point m, it’s not like they’ll say he can’t have the job because he’s not done it. He needs something like that to happen to make him think again.

Dh is the complete opposite, I find him irritating as everything is early, Dh had a hospital appointment this morning at 9.30am. It’s a 45 min drive. He insisted on giving us an hour and half to get there. Wheras Ds would have left half hour to get there and been rushing. So they are opposites.

@icanbewhatiwant That sounds exhausting and frustrating! Good on you for pursuing it and getting £1700 back. Luckily both of mine are quite good at life admin. My DD's email is on my laptop and I check it every so often especially when she is uncontactable at sea. Mine are both happy to get reminders about transferring savings or to reply to an email or buy buildings insurance!

Just got back from Nuffield. I did 60 lengths. This the first time I have swam lengths since before lockdown. I might even go again tomorrow!

My DCs both have good intentions re life admin but struggle with actually getting it done. DS allows me to have access to his email and I try not to overstep but do nudge him if needed, he is terrible for reading them and then forgetting to act or reply. DD doesn't allow me access and so I have to second guess anything that might be coming up for her. I also have both my parents email accounts on my phone, plus 6 of my own (two jobs, school governor, old BT one that I am gradually transitioning to newer Gmail one and a junk one for things like MN). So that's 9 in total. I also keep a running to do list on my phone with sections for me, each DC and my parents. My DCs both have some tax thy need to reclaim. I tend to book an admin slot with each of them every now and then to help them with the more tricky things / get them to do the necessaries.

Oh life admin drives me nuts. Well done on sorting that @icanbewhatiwant but honestly they do your head in sometimes don't they. I'm the life admin person in our house unsurprisingly...I have bowed out of DS email this year and so far it's been okay but the lack of a sense of urgency does my head in. He needs to sort out tax owed as well for this tax year once we get past 5 April. I'm pretty sure until this year he didn't even know tax codes were a thing...And yet he can keep on top of all his many sporting commitments. Big shock!

@icanbewhatiwant DS was exactly the same. I submitted everything for him when he got back from France. He said he hadn't heard anything from SFE. At Christmas he let me check his emails and there it was. A request for lots more information. Travel was a complicated mix of coaches, trains, planes, a ferry (but only the return part of the ticket). He was only going to get a small percentage back anyway so I couldn't face dragging him through the whole thing again. For the cost of travel to Oz I would have insisted on it.

@EndlessDistraction DH was very pleased with himself for getting his tax return in 24 hours before the deadline this year. The closest it's been was 30 seconds. I do wonder where DS gets it from 🤔

Sympathies @icanbewhatiwant @EndlessDistraction @mummyinbeds ! Well done for getting the £1700 back @icanbewhatiwant but I think you should have insisted on retaining some for commission :)

Ds is also terrible, although actually, where money is involved he's usually not so bad! I had a letter for him this morning saying his car insurance was being cancelled because his black box score is too low. Surprisingly they said if he cancelled himself, he wouldn't have to declare it to the next insurer. I got hold of him (an unusual occurrence!) and he said he'd forgotten he had a black box! But he's already gone and cancelled the policy and found a new one which is cheaper than the last one, even without a black box. Which seems counter-intuitive, but as I'm paying for the insurance I'm happy!

I looked on ds2’s laptop several years ago as he wanted me to look at an email before he started uni, he was at school at the time. He’d got literally thousands unread. So I dread to think how many are there over 4 years later!

I have dh’s on my phone along with mine. But that’s all. I have to open and sort or delete emails straight away.

@crazycrofterwe didn’t tell Ds1 when we renewed his insurance for the third year after his test that they didn’t need him to have a black box. So he thought he’d got one still 😂 It wouldn’t have worked for ds2 as he had an app to link to.

🤣@icanbewhatiwant ds had forgotten he had a black box anyway so it wasn’t really serving any purpose! This is the second time he’s had his black box insurance cancelled and both times he’s got cheaper insurance next time! Despite passing a year later and being a ridiculously unpredictable driver, Ds has no points and his insurance is half the price of his sister’s. Life isn’t always fair!

DD's second year house has fallen through, the landlord cancelled on them after a parent queried an aspect of the guarantor agreement, hoping they get their deposits back. They reckon he cancelled on them and should pay back but he will probably say the parent refused to sign the agreement. I hadn't signed mine but had been concerned about the same aspect, it's been a difficult week though, my DF has been hospitalised and looked touch and go at one point, a bit better now but still not out of the woods.

Sorry you've had a tough week @EndlessDistraction - hope your df improves🙏

Don't worry about the house - there will be others. Still waiting for the decision on ds' semester abroad here, before he can make any decisions about next year's housing. I think he'll hear on 24th.

Sorry to hear it has been a tough week for you all Endless. I do hope your df is ok.

DS has decided that he will take advantage of a free holiday with us this summer so I've just bought his flight.
Rollercoaster with DD waiting for uni offers for Illustration with 1 rejection, 2 conditional offers and today, an unconditional from her top choice, Brighton which is such a massive relief. I'm so happy for her since they had quite a list of portfolio requirements which included a video and I knew it would be her aspirational choice.

Sorry to hear about your DF @EndlessDistraction.

Great news for your DD @sansou.

3rd day of DS's jury duty. He has so far been sent home at lunchtime each day after sitting round for 4 hours. Why does the court system function so badly?

We have a family member who is a magistrate and they are busy from the minute they step into the building. I think this overhaul of the court system is desperately needed. I have never done jury service and have no wish to. DH has done it twice, 8 years apart.