Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

Did any of you buy the Dr Seuss book ‘Oh the places you’ll go’ when your child went to uni? I’m after something similar for ds this year and hoping for inspiration.

I used to read that to year 11s in final assembly ( they loved it!) and gave it to my dear friend when she left.

DS2 has a copy, too.

DS been practicing driving to south leeds this weekend with DH. We collected him Saturday from C. It's his first day today in the archaeology job. He arrived okay this morning so big relief! The school job he was reserve for have rung back too which would be even better as just down road. This is going to be a looong year of him at home changing mind re options every 2 minutes but at least he's earning. Summer school was well paid and he was supervising and marking so good experience. We definitely need another bathroom as 3 of us getting ready at 6am was painful...

Good luck to him for the archaeology job @craggyrat - hope he enjoys it. It's great that he's got options and is getting some really valuable experience. Better to take his time to decide if he's not sure, although I know how frustrating indecisiveness is!

Dd bought new tyres for her car (which has been sitting on our drive with two flat tyres since she lost her licence) to take it to its MOT, only for it to fail dramatically. We've had to scrap it and get her something else, which she'll be paying us back for. Just hope she passes her test on Thursday!

@crazycrofter best of luck for your DD'S driving test! Cars are such an expense. I just hope my Kia holds out for 4 months of commuting

He'll be driving like a pro by the end of the week @craggyrat, and it's great he is keeping work-busy until something clicks that was meant to be. Too many YP festering in their rooms right now so well done him for the many options.

Very best of luck to your DD for Thursday's test @crazycrofter!

DS had a fab first day and seems very excited about job. He was doing something in the office with bones today and is going on a dig tomorrow so v happy. Has his own pick and hoe! Driving was fine. Phew.

@craggyrat Sounds like your ds has found his calling. The mention of a hoe made me laugh.

Glad to hear the first day went well @craggyrat

Hope Dd was successful on Thursday @crazycrofter

Well, it’s been quite a week here. Last Sat I suddenly thought, DD hadn’t said anything about her accommodation being confirmed and asked her and she said, no still waiting. I thought - this can’t be right, it’s 10 days after results now, but I know some places take ages to sort it all. Anyway, went on the website and delved into the small print and found she should have had an offer within a week of applying in June. Shit shit. A bit of googling showed that the offers sometimes go into spam. Nothing there, google tells me that gmail autodeletes spam after 30 days. Google also tells me that the uni aren’t very sympathetic to this as the confirmation email tells you to check spam. More shit shit. DD emailed immediately but it was a bank holiday so we had to wait till Tuesday, I was a nervous wreck. Anyway when we phoned up, it turned out that her application had stuck because she had ticked the disability box (she wanted a quiet room). They had asked for more info in June but she hadn’t seen that email (assume lost in spam), they re-sent it, she replied and got the accommodation offer that afternoon. Massive relief. Unfortunately it’s catered and she wanted SC, but looking at the list of preferences she had put on the portal she had included it. I do remember her researching it all but then filling in the application by going back and forth from the website on her ipad so maybe that’s a lesson to do the research, WRITE A LIST and then fill in the form. She’s OK about it though, there will be a kitchenette. She moves in on 20th Sept.

So that got sorted. DS still jobhunting, DD found out there was a vacancy at the garden centre where she works, so he whizzed off a CV and covering letter and is going to start at the end of Sept when his summer job finishes. It’s part time which will allow him to continue with the volunteering he needs to get experience for his longer term career plans but as he’s living at home his costs aren’t too great, although we might have to think about another car. I can liftshare with him, it’s not the most convenient but will have to wait and see what his days are.

Then my parents, Dad is still in hospital and not improving much, as well as the injuries from his fall his general health seems to be deteriorating now, he was already very frail. I have also got several uncles and aunts in probably approaching end-of-life situations and so is DH’s friend. I have just booked a few days away for the week after next for DH and I, I think we need it. In this country in case we get an urgent recall.

@ExtensivelyDecorating That's a lot you are dealing all at once with the sick relatives. So sorry your dad doesn't seem to be getting better, hopefully he is comfortable. Glad to hear about the part time job been sorted for DS., That's one less worry. I hope you have a relaxing time away, make the most of every single day. I find flying out for a week break pointless and makes it even more tiring as you're trying to squash it all in to just 5-7 (2 of it spent travelling!), so you made a good decision there.

I don't know if any of you are on facebook, but over on wiwikau they've started the yearly crying, wailing & dirges about 'empty nests'. I know it's sad when they're leaving & of course we miss them, but isn't it also supposed to make you feel triumphant that you've done something right? the joy of knowing your dc has successfully 'launched'? and they're back again in December anyway. What is this weird outpouring of grief? They're not dead!Pls tell me I'm not alone.

Oh gosh @ExtensivelyDecorating what a stressful time for you all! Still accommodation sorted and job found - things should improve 🤞🏼

DD goes back next weekend - wants to settle into the new house before working lots of ambassador shifts for Fresher's. She wants to take her car with her, so will be driving back in convoy - DH with her. She's only done a couple of junctions on the motorway so far, so could be interesting.

DH and I are heading off on holiday for the week after - it's been a long summer. Four people at home seems very crowded now - I need to escape for a bit!

@Shimy no you're not alone. I miss them when they're not here, but enjoy the peace and quiet! I was a bit stressed when my DS went in 2020, but that was COVID, before vaccinations, and I really didn't know when I'd see him again. There was even the suggestion that students wouldn't be allowed home for Christmas! I think I was justified to be slightly worried!

I've just hidden WIWIKAU again, I have to every year at this time, first it's the wailing, then it's the insta perfect room shots. Having said that I will really miss DD, she's great company but quiet and unobtrusive at home, we like just hanging out together and our pub quiz team will seem strange without her. I suspect she'll be home fairly often though and I am not going to wail, just throw myself back into termtime life (even though we are past the school years I have school governor work starting up again and am in a termtime only choir). I found it hard the first week when DS went, worrying about him, but did grow to appreciate the time off from hands-on parenting.

I'm more finding it weird having DS back! I do miss the younger stages of parenthood but he's an adult now and needs to do his own thing so I don't really get the angst on WIWIK.

Job going v well. He found an iron age hearth in his trench this week. It's been v physically demanding - 7 hours a day on the dig site. Thursday evening he rang DH in a panic from work saying he'd lost his car keys and thought he may have left them in the cabin at the dig. So DH had to drive an hour with spare set. When they both got home 2 hours later DS found missing car keys in the bottom of his bag. Oh how we laughed.......

@ExtensivelyDecorating thats a lot for you to be dealing with. I really hope you enjoy your break. That whole accommodation issue would have stressed me hugely.

Oh god, we had similar with keys the other week. DH has to open and lock up at his summer job, so he has a set of work keys. Second day back this summer - Mum have you seen a set of keys, I CANNOT lose these. Cue mass search of the house and me panicking that he dropped them on the bus the day before, but he had to go, so went to work and bluffed that he had just left them at home (sensible boy) while I went to work worried they’d sack him if he really had lost them. Anyway around lunchtime DD phoned and said could she cook dinner so I said please keep an eye out for a set of keys and explained. She found them down the side of our bed (between the cabinet and the bed). DS goes up and slings himself on there after work to watch telly and that’s why she thought to look there.

Once upon a time pre DC I got 45 mins on my way to work and got a call from DH who had accidentally left his work keys in my car at the weekend and had to drive half way back to meet him, he was on his own at work that day so no choice, I was not impressed. We are big fans of airtags now, DS’s work keys have one, we must remember to get him to take it off when he leaves.

@craggyrat I barely slept a wink on the Sat night, ended up awake googling private accommodation, commuting possibilities, you name it. That sounds like great work your DS has got, Dneice has just started work as an archaeologist, in Cambridgeshire, she loves it too,

@Seeline 2020 was very different. I was glad i didn't have a dc to launch that yr. DS1 was at uni already, but at least he'd got through the 1st term before covid struck, so he'd had the benefit of freshers, face to face lectures and making some friends. That was a difficult and stressful yr.

@ExtensivelyDecorating I find the photos of the perfectly made beds echoing with silence through the internet hilarious, or sometimes it's a photo of a lone sock lying on the hallway, as if it's a memorial. I do like the ones of the mournful pet left behind, curled on the empty bed or sitting by the door, quite sad though.

@ExtensivelyDecorating airtag is a great idea. DS does have one so will get him to put that on his keys. I hope your DS enjoys the garden centre. I'd quite like that! I think for my DS it will be how he copes when it is a long drive there and back in the dark and digging in the wet and cold. His contract is to the end of the year but if he sticks it out it may be extended

Dd failed her test 😬 so I had to drive her back to Nottingham with all her stuff yet again. She’s gutted as she passed first time originally!

Glad you got accommodation sorted @ExtensivelyDecorating ! I was stressing last week as I went to look at a private hall in Notts where an en-suite is only £118 pw and there were loads of rooms available. When I got home in the evening all but one had been snapped up! I felt I couldn’t book until confirming Ds wanted it but he was out, with a broken phone. He finally got back at 1.30am and it was still available - phew!

Losing keys is a common occurrence here too. Last week Ds left them in his friend’s car - who lives an hour away! He only has one set, as does dd.

@crazycrofter Thank God, you managed to get the last one. Sounds like a bargain judging by current prices.

DS has completed his placement and move back home on Monday, its all gone so quickly. He was offered a graduate position but he said he will sink into depression if he has to work in Tax again, so on that note it was a 'no thanks'. He might be able to get into what he really wants, 'sustainability' but he has to go through the whole application process again but the fact he has them on his CV already might help. He's started applying for graduate roles now as they're starting to open up for next yrs cohort.
DS1 has come to the end of his graduate scheme but it's unclear what they do next. Apparently, they haven't got enough interviewers to interview those coming to the end of the scheme and there aren't enough positions for them to move onto, so he's also putting his CV out there for new opportunities.

@ExtensivelyDecorating it’s stressful enough anyway without extra hassle!
i think we need a list of our other dcs and where they’re going as i can’t remember? Ds is off to Sheffield.
DD has gone back for her final year in Bristol but will be up and down the country visiting friends for the next three weeks.

Oh I’m sorry to hear about the test @crazycrofter, I know she’s desperate to get back in the seat; I hope she nails it soon if you get a new test date 🤞

@crazycrofter I missed that your DD failed her test. So sorry about that.

Sorry to hear about the test @crazycrofter . Hope she gets another chance soon