Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

Have any other younger siblings got results? I hope all went ok.

Ds was pretty much decided on Nottingham last night - he's in the shower at the moment so I haven't spoken to him! - and I think that's the right option for him. He's definitely got gumption @EwwSprouts - love that word! I'm feeling happy at the thought of our two both being in the same place, just over an hour away!

Congratulations to all the DCs yesterday. We weren't waiting for results this year but I still felt nervous bizarrely! One of my friends DC didn't get his first choice but was accepted at Notts for their insurance.

This will be us next year when DS2 sits his A levels, I'm not looking forward to it!

Congratulations to all with exam success.
@crazycrofter i'm so glad your DD has decided where he's going. I feel like I know him very well 😉

Haha @cantonet perhaps I've overshared about him! 😂Apparently ChatGPT said that the course he's chosen has the same employability prospects as PPE so now he's feeling happy! Clearly ChatGPT is to be trusted, where Mum isn't.... what do we know?!

Has your ds started his job yet @JustHereWithMyPopcorn ?

Ooof, it's hot. My day off. DD has gone off to check out the train journey to RHUL (we've done it together before but she hasn't on her own). Unfortunately despite being only 25 miles it's three trains plus a 20 min walk each end so still quite time consuming. It has hit me today that I'm really going to miss her, she's never gone away from home apart from Guide camps and school residentials (nothing since pre Covid). She's been off college on Fri afternoons and generally around most of the day in the holidays and it feels quiet without her, we often go out for a coffee together in the afternoon. Just as well DS is back home, I'm not ready for the empty nest yet I don't think.

Glad DS has made a decision @crazycrofter

I'm sure we'll all still be here next year to cheer on DS2 @JustHereWithMyPopcorn

Aw, big changes ahead @ExtensivelyDecorating but you'll still see plenty of her I'm sure - reading weeks/ weekends home?

Yes, I'm sure she'll come home a fair bit. I will no doubt visit sometimes too like I have DS, it's not far at all. Ot wqs a shock to my system when DS went but I soon got used to it. DS and I are planning a return to the Cotswolds in October for our annual visit to Westonbirt Arboretum for the autumn colours, we did it every year he was there and he wants to go again, so that will be nice.

Many Congratulations to all A'level resulters.

Well done to everyone’s dcs. Exciting times. We are loving our empty nest. Busy decorating the spare room! News from Scandinavia is very positive so far. I was hoping to visit in October but Dh wants to go in the Spring, seems too late to me. Dunno.

We had a year of empty nesting (apart from the holidays...) It was lovely. Still finding it quite difficult with DS home full time, even though he is working. Still seems to be trying to live a student life around the job, which doesn't really fit in with us working and having a life.

Yeah I can imagine it's quite a readjustment if you've had the empty nest and then it's filled again. DS has slotted back in here ok, it is useful that he's driving now.

I’m wondering how it will feel when DS goes back to uni in September, but DD is still here. We quite enjoyed our one year of being empty nesters. At the moment it doesn’t feel all that strange having them both at home, because that’s the usual pattern for the summer.

We are finding it really difficult with all 3 ds’s home. Ds1 (24) isn’t really speaking to any of us. He’s bad tempered and angry with us and everything in general. So it’s making us all uncomfortable, I think he seriously needs some sort of therapy, but not sure how to broach the subject. All his friends have blocked him, so life in general isn’t much fun for him. Ds2 is working his summer job, ds1 is actually working at the same place too, they are there until mid sept. Ds3 is awaiting gcse results next week.
Dh and I are off on a holiday together at the beginning of sept. We have never been away and left all 3 dc’s home alone. We are going with dh’s car club, it’s a road trip through 7 counties in Europe. Dh last went abroad in 1980! So we are sort of looking forwards to it, but I’m seriously worried about leaving the ds’s and the dogs home. If ds1 were out the equation I’d not be so worried. Last time we left the older 2 dc’s home for a week, we came home to every mug, plate, glass, pot and pan dirty all round the house. Literally everything was dirty. We weren’t impressed after a 7 hour drive from Cornwall. Also when we arrived home ds1 had gone to work and ds2 was on a driving lesson and the house was unlocked!

Oh dear @icanbewhatiwant that sounds stressful. It does sound like ds1 needs some sort of help 🤔

We briefly had an empty nest when Ds was travelling between Jan and May, it was very quiet and relaxing! It will be interesting to see how it feels come October when they’re both in Nottingham. Ds has gone up today to have a scout around; turns out his two best friends from his old school where he did his GCSEs also got into Notts in clearing so he’s going with one of them. We’re trying to persuade him to see if they can get in the same flat in private halls together. They both like their cooking and are worried about the kitchen situation!

Well done on A level results and uni adventures.

Can't you persuade DS to stay in Rutland @crazycrofter - surely it can't be Nottingham without a year in Rutters 😆 My DS is in Madison Gardens next year (with all year 3/4's) They're quite amenable to trying to put friends together.

I've had both at uni for the last two years now and it feels very crowded when they're both home. They've only overlapped for about three weeks this summer - DD was in Ghana before DS came back from France. She's now back in Aber even though the job she had lined up fell through (I'm quite angry about that as they had her travel back to Aber for a trial knowing they were taking on a cheaper sixth form local instead)

That’s really annoying @mummyinbeds 😩 I hope she finds something else!

Ds would never go for Rutland as the volume and quality of food would be totally insufficient and they don’t have proper kitchens! He needs at least two huge chicken and rice type meals a day plus the cooked breakfast of six eggs, avocado etc and a smaller meal of fruit, nuts etc. I hope his flatmates are tolerant of all the cooking and leave him plenty of fridge and cupboard space!

That’s really annoying @mummyinbeds 😩 I hope she finds something else!

Ds would never go for Rutland as the volume and quality of food would be totally insufficient and they don’t have proper kitchens! He needs at least two huge chicken and rice type meals a day plus the cooked breakfast of six eggs, avocado etc and a smaller meal of fruit, nuts etc. I hope his flatmates are tolerant of all the cooking and leave him plenty of fridge and cupboard space!

Whoops, sorry for the duplicate post!

@mummyinbeds that would really irritate me as well!

@icanbewhatiwant I hope you and your DH have an amazing holiday and that all runs smoothly at home and the dogs are well looked after.

Going to be so strange having DS home for the year. We collect next Saturday. It sounds like he's actually had a GF for the last few months so just hoping he doesn't spend everything he earns visiting her as he won't be doing any Masters if that's the case. He tells us nothing except she's also at C but no idea if she has graduated or not. He starts work week Tuesday in south Leeds for the archaeology people so I can kiss goodbye to my car for 4 months. He's not a quitter at anything but i don't think he has any clue how awful a commute thats going to be especially as so inexperienced at driving beyond Harrogate. I'm dreading it and just hoping he's okay doing it.

He went to Army recruitment centre in C last week to chase that up. I think the delay is with the outsourced medical checks. Painful...

Good luck to ds with the commute @craggyrat ! It's actually quite useful for them to experience what a long commute can be like, because people can be quite optimistic about long drives can't they. In fact I've just been offered a new job nearby - I was getting so exhausted doing an hour and a half each way, even when it was only 2-3 days a week.

Thanks @crazycrofter yes this will be about an hour at least each way depending on traffic either down motorway- new experience for him - or through Leeds - hideous ring road! I think it will be make or break...I think as well there may be some working away on sites so am hoping that is by provided transport for the group or by train etc as I will need my car so he will need to sort that out. The bad weather also worries me once it gets past October. Honestly I am a real worrier at the best of times so this is sending me into a tailspin! Are you taking the other job?

Hi I haven’t been on this thread for a long time as we were going through a bit of a difficult time but things are ok now.

DD1 is about to go back to uni for her final year.
DD2 passed her Alevels and is going to uni for her first year.

She has got herself a summer job to raise a bit of extra money.

Hope everybody here is doing well!

Good to hear from you again @BlueMarigold, even better to hear updates on your two and that things have are continuing to approve for you all.

Yes @craggyrat I accepted the job - starting in November! You'll get used to the driving once he's got into a routine. My kids both do huge amounts of long distance motorway and city centre driving (at least dd did when she had a licence!) and I worried a lot at first, but you get used to it. And his driving will also improve quickly.

Good to hear from you @BlueMarigold and glad things have improved. Where is dd2 going?

@crazycrofter Congratulations on your new job!

DD2 is off to York to study Maths. It was her first choice so she’s very excited.