Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

Good luck to those waiting for results this week

Good luck to your DD @ealingwestmum
and good luck to the A level students this week, hoping everyone gets what they need. We have another year for DS2 and I’m already worrying! 😄
Good news about the DSA @ExtensivelyDecorating

I’m just doing a catch up again. I keep getting left behind. Ds2 is busy working his summer job. We are paying rent for his house down in Brighton, that started 1st July. He won’t be moving in until the start of October when his term starts. Then the final year starts. He’s not even seen the house yet.

He drove to Wales with mates yesterday morning and is coming home tomorrow. It’s 250 miles away, a long way to go for 2 nights. They are going up snowdonia today, Ds only has old worn out trainers. He assumed his walking boots from d of e in year 10 would still fit. So I expect he will have sore feet.

I’ve been seeing what all your dc’s are up to. Lots of different things going on. I hope they all enjoy graduations etc. Next summer when Ds graduates seems a long way off yet.

I’m a nervous wreck about Thursday and A level results but DS is quite chilled!
Called in on the way back from hols at DDs new house for her final year. She only saw it on FaceTime and is with a group she doesn’t know, having been abroad for the year. The landlord is raking it in. £200 per and ok is the best description I can give it. Not helped that the girls in it (same house as last year) have left it filthy.

Oh no @NCTDN that’s frustrating 😩 I hope the new housemates prove to be nice. Still can’t believe the difference in price between cities - dd is paying £110 including bills 😮 She’s there at the moment doing a run of Nando’s shifts. Because she put in all the work to find the house she’s got the biggest room! It’s huge! Opposite a primary school though so no lie ins for her…

Good luck for Thursday!

That's a shame @NCTDN . I am twitchy about results day too and feel a bit overwhelmed at the moment, Dad is still in hospital, Mum is being a bit of a nightmare, DH is caring for a terminally ill friend, DS needs help jobhunting and DD needs support with uni prep plus we are very busy at work and the allotment won't look after itself although it isn't too bad. I am tired all the time. Oh and it's the start of the football season so I am spending all my free time tinkering with my Fantasy League team 😀.

@ExtensivelyDecorating you wound like you have a lot of your plate. My Ddad was in hospital recently and managing him and DMum was a challenge and all consuming for a few weeks. That is without the other things you have going on. Take care of yourself and try to carve a little bit of time out to breathe

Goodness, sorry to read those updates! DD was paying nearly £900 pcm for a shoebox room...

In other news, DS had an unexpected telephone interview for a gap-year job in New Zealand last night! So the nagging him to send his CV around seems to have paid off. Fingers crossed for him.

Ooh that's exciting @PhotoDad - good luck to him!

@ExtensivelyDecorating sorry to hear that, you've got a lot on your plate. Hopefully things will seem a bit better once you know where dd is going and you're a bit more sorted with that. The job hunting might be going on for a while so pace yourself too. I hope things improve with your parents and your dad is out of hospital soon. Sounds like you need the Fantasy Football for some light relief!

Thanks all, we are meeting Dad's consultant today so hopefully the picture will be clearer but I think he will be in for a few more weeks at least. YEs, it will be easier once DD is sorted with where she is going, we went to Ikea last night to start some shopping, she is going to take some of the stuff DS had as he does not look like leaving home any time soon. He had an informal chat with an employer yesterday but it sounds as though the vacancy in question is too senior at this stage (team leader), I have advised him to email in a CV and thank her for her time and ask for it to be kept on file (small employer).

That sounds exciting for DS @PhotoDad - I went to NZ in my early 20s for 6 weeks and loved it.

Sorry you have been through similar with parents @273NewNames - my mum is very hard work.

@crazycrofter the FF can take over a bit, it's easy to get obsessed with it (we have leagues at both my workplaces). But good fun and nice to have something non-caring related to focus on. I love the start of the new football season.

@PhotoDad That sounds VERY exciting! what's the job about?
@ExtensivelyDecorating I'm sorry to read your update. Its that time of life isn't it? you're caught in between young adult dc and very aging parents and everything else in between. Im glad to hear about your fantasy league table though, anything to help you wind down. I hope the news re dad is positive and results day brings good news. We're all here albeit, online for you.

Just to add my bit of news: DS is fast coming to the end of his placement, end of this month. He's been offered a job in tax, but as mentioned before, he doesn't like tax, so has asked if he can be transferred to Strategy. He's been told its possible BUT he needs to go through all the assessments again, so I'm not entirely sure what advantage he has.

MIL has just left us after a month, wanted to stay longer but DH somehow managed to move them on to sil's.. Its been lots of gritting of teeth and biting of tongue and deep breathing to remain calm. Its just not worth the rows when a person is steeped in their ways at nearly 80yrs old and raised in a very traditional, patriarchal environment. The sense of entitlement, the health issues, the stubbornness etc Hopefully, I'll be able to look back on it all one day and just laugh. My only fear is, will i too become like this one day? really?

I hope all goes well with the consultant, @ExtensivelyDecorating! And, yes, @Shimy, dealing with aging relatives certainly takes its toll...

The New Zealand job would be as a watersports instructor (DS not only has all the required coaching certifications but has also raced internationally) and the interviewer was keen to point out that it could turn from a four-month thing into a year-long thing if he's the right fit. The other option would be for DS to chase summer and work in the Med. Trying not to count chickens before they're hatched!

Ohh, what a great opportunity @PhotoDad. It is great that he can use his talents and skills during his gap year. NZ sounds very exciting.

Both mine grew so much as people during their gap year and learnt new skills that set them up for university and job hunting beyond. DD was travelling/volunteering and DS was pure working (Covid year in a Covid related job).

As for accommodation costs, DS is now post university and living in a shared house in the Home Counties. He pays £760 a month for his room which includes all bills - council tax, gas, water, Wi-Fi, TV license, cleaner on Monday for shared areas and gardener once a fortnight. The other tenants are not really social or his type, but he gets on with two girls which has been its saving grace. When you have not chosen your housemates and do not know a soul in a new city, it’s hard.

that sounds like a scrumptious opportunity! @PhotoDad. from someone just learning to swim (not sure if i mentioned it before, started in March), i can now float, swim on my back, do front crawl but cant do a full length without breaking to breath properly. Think I've got the head side to side movement finally, your DS's water achievements sound incredible and that's just for a gap yr, i bet he could make a career out of it at his level.

Well done you @Shimy, it's a massive deal what you have achieved, as a non swimmer here. The learning to float alone would keep you alive in a crisis.

That's amazing @Shimy - from another (practically) non-swimmer. I could probably manage the width of a swimming pool in a crisis, but then a crisis is unlikely to happen in a safe swimming pool is it. Keep going!

Oh thank you all, i wasn't expecting praise for it, but its nice . I think most adults know how to swim so I'm quite old for it but never too old to learn . It feels great afterwards, so refreshed and strong feeling, all the stiff limbs mobilised. @crazycrofter you're still way ahead of me, as of April I was clinging onto the edge of the pool for dear life. @ealingwestmum It was just last week i was told that if in danger to 'float', so I've been doing it and moving my arms about and was thrilled to get to the end of the pool and back without stopping. Pls join me in swimming lessons wherever you are .

Oh @Shimy my sensible side says I absolutely should be joining you, but the trauma me just rejects it. It may have been why I ended up with a national swimmer in DD to offset my uselessness. I even have nightmares of walking the dog and getting swept off a walking bridge into water, or being stuck in a car that having misjudged wading through a ford much deeper than it looked. I was absolutely horrified at the death of the rugby player last year in the flash floods :(

So keep going. It's lovely to hear you enjoying it too!

How exciting @PhotoDad

Just popping in to say good luck to everyone receiving results tomorrow 🍀🍀

Another one wishing al the best for tomorrow.
I will be thinking of you all in the morning🤞🏼

Thanks @Cantonet@Seeline. Very anxious here!

We are all in the pub together talking about anything except results

All the best of luck to those receiving results tomorrow. Fingers crossed they all get what they need for the next stage whatever that may be.

All the best to everyone for tomorrow- let us know how they got on and what they’re up to next! And wish us luck for clearing !