Thread 54 - Summer 25 - Graduations after Uni Year 3

[Oblomov25]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.
Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp
Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread 53:
Thread53

Our graduation experience seems similar to many others. Morning ceremony (after last minute panic when DD's booking didn't appear in their system) then a drinks reception, chatting to classmates/lecturers. Late lunch with one of her friends (plus family) and then a nice evening meal, super-early as she had an early start the next day.

Well done @crazycrofter DD, that is an impressive improvement.

Graduation here isn't till mid Sept so plenty of time to plan, it is all booked, gowns, photos etc plus a hotel for the night before. DS starts back at last year's summer job next week, plus his volunteering plus driving test looming again so he's a busy chap at the moment.

It does seem like a steep learning curve @Alwaysplayspicc - your dd did really well too!. Dd also only got her ADHD diagnosis at the end of second year and hasn't had the full DSA help yet (she's just been having training on the various software this week which will hopefully help). She got the word limit wrong for her research project too and accidentally went 300 words over the limit, which she thinks means they discounted the conclusion. She still got 69 in that, but it's a shame if she could have got a first, as research ability is relevant for clinical psychology.

DD never managed to get the software training and only got a study skills mentor in 3rd year - her DSA company was a nightmare and really not fit for purpose.

She has put in an academic appeal for the late penalties, under extenuating circumstances because her consultant removed her medication and discharged her the day before she missed the deadline.
I don’t think it will be upheld, which is a shame because she was entitled to extensions in her reasonable adjustments plan, she just didn’t apply for it in time (ADHD moment…); it’s disappointing to think she missed out on a first purely because of a matter of process, not academic ability - ditto your DD.

That’s a real shame @Alwaysplayspicc - they’ve had such a lot to deal with. Dd is also hoping to get meds by October, based on how long she was told the waiting list would be…

From everything I’ve read, apart from some subject-specific grad schemes, they don’t really distinguish between a 1st and 2:1, so hopefully it won’t make any difference to your dd’s future plans.

That was our big frustration with DSA, the support was being offered but there was still a lot to do organising it all which was precisely the sort of thing DS has major difficulty with, fortunately he put on the forms that I could speak for him to the providers, assessor and SFE I only had to a couple of times however I had access to his personal email and had to do a lot of chivvying. His mentors were brilliant, he had the same ones for the whole three years all online, again he found it hard scheduling the sessions as we both assumed they would be at a fixed time every week but in fact it was up to him and them to schedule them. He also never used most of the software (too complicated) or the printer/microphone (again organisational issues) but managed without. DD is sending off her evidence today hopefully, she has her ADHD assessment on Friday but not sure how long it will take for a report so she's sending her dyslexia assessment and a screenshot of the appointment for now.

Thanks everyone for the good wishes to baby blink. I have told him that “the randos you speak to on the internet” (his term, not mine) are all delighted for him and he is pleased to hear it (while still finding me weird for doing this, given how often I have told him not to speak to strangers. But you’re not strangers - just anonymous friends!).

Again congrats to everyone else - I don’t want to forget to tag someone so I won’t tag anyone, but I’ve been so happy to read of everyone’s good news.

All these tales of improvements both academically and - more importantly for life - in terms of confidence or self-awareness are heartening to read.

Good luck for Friday @ExtensivelyDecorating

Slight change of topic. DS2 is doing his work experience next week in 'head office', dress is smart casual - what does this really mean for young men?

I would say polo shirt and chinos? Or open neck shirt. DH struggles a bit with this, his workplace is totally casual (shorts, teeshirts etc) but when they visit customers it used to be suit and tie but no one does that any more, it's all smart casual.

DS is smart casual when in the office. He generally wears suit-type trousers (or the next level down) with an open neck shirt or smart polo.

Thanks both, he wears a suit for 6th form so can lose the jacket and tie I guess. He’s also got some chinos somewhere I’ll have a dig around.

Ds1 turned up almost unannounced at our caravan in Dorset, and the 4 of us haven't been here together for ages, so this is really nice. Special, we've been coming here for 20 years.

He had a great time at Christian festival, and has met someone. I'm so very pleased. He's home for a week, before another weeks Christian camp locally. Ds2 had arranged to stay overnight with my mum this week, so ds1 is now going too.

That's lovely @Oblomov25 :) . Has he been at Keswick? We're off there this week!

Yes Crazy, he enjoyed it a lot. Hope you fo too.

I’m a nearly new person but remember the thread starting . My DD2 was gcse 2020 and managed to get to A Levels after retaking several GCSE’s . After two years of working and mental health struggles she is starting uni in September. Moving out to her own place with friends . She was severely compromised by the covid year and all that followed but happy to report she she doing well now .

Graduation all done and closing the chapter on University for DD - although complaint and appeal from yr2 still outstanding so not quite closed!

Internship starting soon with a plan to apply for graduate schemes in September. It is interesting that most of her Uni friends are also "taking a gap year" while they consider what they want to do next - very few are going straight into a job.

Today we had discussions about bank accounts post student (she was struggling to understand the point of a graduate account!), gross pay vs net pay, and other exciting "grown-up" things to think about....

We’ve got DD’s graduation on Thursday, so will be travelling tomorrow (because Penryn is such a loooong way away).

Welcome @rubyslipperss sounds as though your DD has overcome a lot, where is she off to in Sept? There are quite a few younger siblings on the thread off to uni in Sept, including mine.

Talking of mine, she finally had her ADHD assessment last week, diagnosis confirmed and she's gone on the waiting list for meds. Need to sort her DSA now. The other thing that's happened is a nasty fall for my DDad who has been in hospital for several days after suffering a head injury, which is worrying and my mum (who is physically fit and well) is struggling mentally - she has anxiety and I am pretty sure is also undiagnosed ND. The joys.

Sorry to hear about your parents @ExtensivelyDecorating - that must be v worrying for you. Are they local to you?

Hello @rubyslipperss good to hear your DD is doing well now and moving forwards.

@handmademitlove glad your DD graduation went well and hope she enjoys the internship.

Not much to report here. DS still doing his TA summer job in Cambridge and enjoying it very much although the hours are pretty brutal. Great experience for his CV. He will be home for two days and then has managed to get a 4 month fixed term archaeology job out of Leeds. It's really good but I'm already worrying as although he passed his test 4 years ago he hasn't driven thst much except locally and one motorway lesson when he was 17. He'll be in my aged Piccanto as doesn't have a car. He will be spending day after coming home and dsy before starting job driving the route with DH. I'm already sleepless thinking about it! Hopefully it will look good on his Masters application

@Aslockton army application still ongoing. No wonder so many give up. So slow!

@craggyrat I too am a nervous mum of an inexperienced driver! DD passed nearly 2 years ago, but has barely driven anywhere since, and not really outside our immediate area, most of which is 20mph. Now MIL has more or less given DD her automatic Micra so she can get to her volunteering location 20 miles away. This involves either the M25 or windy 60 mph country lanes.... And DD is talking about taking it up to Norwich for her final year...

@Seeline not just me then! I think it will do him good but goodness me I'm dreading it...DS is either A1/M1 for about 18 miles or straight through leeds which is awful. DH is going to drive it this week to see which is best. I particularly liked DS assumption that he could use my car.... I mean, he can. But it would be nice to be asked!!

Well, hopefully I'll be joining you tomorrow @craggyrat and @Seeline as DS has another driving test. He doesn't have a car of his own but will be able to use mine (he's taking his test in it). I may sign it over to him at some point and get another myself, my parents did this for my first car.

Dparents are about half an hour drive from us then the hospital is another 20 mins from there. Fortunately it is on a fast bus route from their house so mum can visit easily (she does drive but the car parking and way in/out terrify her as it is a massive hospital). Fortunately also DB is a teacher so he's off now for the summer.

There just seems to be so much traffic around these days! I really don't remember it being as busy when I started driving 40 (😲) years ago. Just jumped in the car and off I went. My parents didn't even have a car so I wasn't at all familiar with driving - certainly hadn't really been on motorways before. I even remember my instructor taking me to a garage to show me how to get petrol because I didn't know how 😆

Oh - fingers crossed for tomorrow @ExtensivelyDecorating ! Sorry to hear about your parents too. I seem to be spending a lot of time at hospital appointments at the moment -DMum and DD, not me.

We were a very "driving" sort of family, both my parents had cars as far back as I can remember and we lived hundreds of miles from both sets of grandparents so long car journeys are very much a feature of our childhood. Back then you used to pull up at the petrol station and the attendant would fill your car up for you. I was lucky in a way with motorway practice as there is a fast, motorway-like dual carriageway between my parents house and the test centre so I got to practice on that with my instructor. But it is far harder now I think, when I graduated I moved to outer West London, lived in various shared houses and drove all the time around Hounslow, Harrow, Hayes, Ruislip, Greenford, Southall, Wembley, North Circular etc, all pretty straightforward. Now I go back and there are bus lanes and cameras everywhere plus e bikes and scooters and deliveroo bikes it's much more daunting. As for smart motorways, yikes, not keen on those either.