Money!

[BoredTrish83]

i need to vent ..
My daughter has moved away with her bf to he's mum house .
While living here they had part time jobs and got by by handouts and us to get thro . No help from other side
Now she's asking us for money to get by when she's again working part time and he's quit he's job due to back issues
Am I bring unreasonable?
They going away camping with he's family and asking us for money ?
Parent guilt kicking in but I need to be strong !

How old is she?

They are both 19 x claiming uc too x

Then no absolutely not.

No way would I be supporting the feckless boyfriend. If she wants to support him, she needs to work more.

And to hell with subsidising his family camping holiday.

Time for them to grow up.

Absolutely not! What does she mean "get by" is she struggling to feed herself or get to work?

She wants to go on holiday feck that !

Why do they need money from you?

Presumably they are both able to work…?

I mean I know she's young but she isn't a child when are you going to take charge of your mum guilt feelings and let her get on with life.

Haha that's my argument if u can't afford to live why book a camping holiday !

No. Why isn't the money they earn & get from UC enough to live on, when they are living with family? A lesson in budgeting and living within your means would be all I would provide. Only spend what you have!

They have been together 2 years now and had handouts left right and centre child trust fund , inheritance and general 20 quid here 30 there etc . Had about 5 pound off he's mum in the 1 year and half living here and nothing from he's dad ( who they are going away with)
Surely if u go away with your children you pay the majority?
My mum and dad saved 1k for each grandchildren for house or car she hasn't done either but they gave it her anyways and said once its gone its gone . She borrowed 300 of it and we have the 700 she's even asking to have some of that and also asking my parents to?
I'm glad I'm not the only one thanks guys x

How much is she asking for? If it's not much, I'd give it. Especially if I can afford to. They're clearly not in a good position so why wouldn't you want to help your child.

Exactly we were naughty when younger but we had a newborn to support and we are paying for it now . From day 1 we have tried to tell them don't be like us its not worth it only get what you can afford .
I've done monthly bills plans for them weekly spends etc and shows since Feb when they moved it hasn't worked
X

@Dinoswearunderpantsits only 40 but its the principal of the situation . They are away with he's family surely they can fund them while they are with them .
And 40 would turn into more as she doesn't get paid till 22nd x

I just find this so sad. I would give my child every penny I had for their happiness. I guess everyone 'parents' differently.

@Dinoswearunderpantsi understand what you say but when you have been doing it for 2 years and its 1 sided its gets frustrating x

That’s how you end up with spoilt entitled rude children that turn into spoilt entitled rude adults!!

No!! Tell her she’s an adult and now taking the piss!! She needs to be told
Bluntly that she’s got no excuse not working full time and neither has the boyfriend! Having a “bad back” is the oldest excuse is the book for lazy arseholes and there are plenty of jobs he can do even if he’s got a bad back! If he can manage to go camping then he 100””% can manage work!

@Nearly50omgexactly they are spending more then they earn and they don't have any commitments apart from car insurance ( the car we actually gave them too ) x

Don't be daft, that's a terrible way to parent!

A parents job is to teach a child to live in the real world, all you're doing is teaching your child to be spoilt.

Sometimes you have to let them struggle to help them learn, and thereby benefit their future.

It's different if it's a mega, unexpected expense but spending money here and there because they can't budget is a no. They need to learn to manage their money and won't if you allow mummy to keep bailing them out.

@MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannelexactly x

They are adults who need to work if they want nice things. How do you think the OP gets her money? Should OP’s mother give her money and if no what’s the difference?

At her age she should be standing on her own feet.
Maybe a tough love is needed.

Absolutely not if they're raised to appreciate and respect. When did parents become so selfish?

Tell them to get it paid every 2 weeks if they’re struggling with budgeting.

Are these “back problems” legitimate or bs, do you think?