Money!

[BoredTrish83]

i need to vent ..
My daughter has moved away with her bf to he's mum house .
While living here they had part time jobs and got by by handouts and us to get thro . No help from other side
Now she's asking us for money to get by when she's again working part time and he's quit he's job due to back issues
Am I bring unreasonable?
They going away camping with he's family and asking us for money ?
Parent guilt kicking in but I need to be strong !

I was same i left home at 17 full time job as well as college at night and lived with bf had bills etc
I never had holidays i was excited once when I could buy a new lamp that was treat once
Don't get me started on the driving and camping but can't work with sciatica its an on going discussion!! I have to leave knowing about the ins ans outs of everything cos it just frustrates me and I ended up using my brain space thinking about it or trying to help.
And before any one says I've helped for 2 years everyday there was something I've got to cut myself off to certain things I can't control x

You don’t have to continue to help. It might do them good to not have back up for a little while, perhaps they’ll learn to provide for themselves.

Yep exactly x

No help from other side

Living in her boyfriend’s mum’s house is pretty big “help”.

depends whether you can afford it @BoredTrish83 . My parents certainly helped me out at that age when needed and I do the same for my DC

I was going to say this, are they paying their way rent, food and utilities wise?

Her bf sounds really flakey

is he not well qualified to get a desk job

and this is why we have a generation of spongers, giving into children constantly is lazy parenting.

I think that’s fine if your child is responsible with money and needs extra because of some reason beyond their control. This doesn’t sound like the case here and continuing to give handouts might ruin them for life , perhaps this is why the bf mum is providing free lodging but not money?

@Kisskiss agree, my adult child has a ft job and a pt job, but due to astronomical rent and commuting costs is always broke. I will always bung him £30 when he needs it. I don’t want him to have a miserable existence while he is trying to make something of himself in a poorly paid grad job.

If he was just arsing about or really, really wasting money, then I wouldn’t be so forthcoming.

Why can't they get full time jobs. Stop funding her.

We help out our working adult children if they are stuck but like others we don't fund lifestyle.

Tell them absolutely and unequivocally to piss right off.

This. Give her the money out of the £700 of her money you have. When it's gone it's gone. One of mine blew his 5k child trust fund on fancy hotels and weekends away with his then gf. He likely regrets it but sometimes they learn the hard way !