Thread 53 - Covid GCSE Cohort - Happy New Year 2025 to our fab young people

[Delphigirl]

New thread! Looking forward to traversing 2025 with this fantastic group 🎉😘

@crazycrofter .they have 2 small girls. I think my son has depression, he’s sleepwalking, unreachable,

I'm sorry @Zebracat - that sounds really worrying for you. Presumably he's in denial about the depression?

I don’t think he sees this is all part of the depression. He’s developed an obsession with crypto currency and even though he’s neglected his business and has very little income, he’s begging and borrowing to buy it. Insanity. His wife is an absolute darling, sole breadwinner and doing most of the childcare, I think she’s checked out but she can’t admit it yet. I would have! No one can get through to him. He’s just not there. Its not going to end well. I am so worried.

That’s a very sad situation @Zebracat , I hope at some point he realises he needs help.

That's really sad @Zebracat . I hope he wakes up to reality. My DB has made a total mess of his life in last 20 years and marriage is now over and house repossessed. Very upsetting

Sorry for your dbs issues, Craggy. I think we all have this stuff to deal with. I am very fortunate to have lots of positives in my life too, but it is true that with children you are a hostage to fortune, and I think very few people consider it. I have known some people who chose not to have children because of mental health issues in the family, and I thought they were overly cautious and should have backed their parenting more. Now , not so much. Although my boy showed no sign of this until he was an adult, his father is actually beset with similar issues. Maybe everyone is.

Dh has multiple issues too @Zebracat and dd is very like him. Fortunately maybe (?), her issues started to present at about 15 and she’s had a lot of help since then. I hope she’s going to be ok in future, because she understands herself, but one of the reasons for her recent split was that she’s unsure of the wisdom of two people with OCD having children together. Maybe she’s right, it’s hard to say? There are certainly no easy answers and you’re right that you have children for life, not just for 18 years.

Wow crazy, she certainly does seem to understand herself, that seems incredibly mature.

@Zebracat So sorry to hear your ds is struggling with his MH. Its so hard getting an adult who doesn't believe there is anything wrong the right medical help. This is part of what makes poor MH so scary; at least with other parts of the body, the brain is well enough to see that the other body part needs medical attention. I do hope something gets through very soon and he asks for help. You must be so worried.

@crazycrofter This might not be a popular idea but honestly, we've discussed this very topic with both ds's & they don't want to have dc with anyone with MH issues because both of them being neuro diverse and ds2's MH challenges with ocd have been heart breaking. Why bring another innocent dc into the world that has such a high chance of inheriting it? i know one can never tell 100% whether they will or won't, neither dh nor I have ANY neurological conditions, and both dc have it. We don't know what will happen in future but whatever happens we will just brace ourselves but praying their dc will not walk this difficult path so i can see how you DD is thinking.

That’s helpful @shimy, there’s no right or wrong but it’s worth thinking about carefully for sure. In fact, you’ve reminded me of a couple I know who are currently having a lot of problems with their 10 year old dd (suspected autism, difficulty with relationships etc) and in their case there are actually quite serious mental health problems on both sides of the family as well as neurodivergence. Life is so complicated isn’t it!

It sort of made me half smile when ds told me yesterday that he and his new girlfriend have shared their diagnosis' with each other. Hopefully this generation won't have as much stigma around mental health and neurodiversity as in the past.

Hopefully awareness at a younger age will help them. With hindsight, we seem to have a lot of neurodiversity in our family but at the time we had the DCs the only thing I was aware of was my mum having severe anxiety / phobias which I now think are due to undiagnosed autism/ADHD. Her anxiety made our relationship very difficult as I was growing up as it made her controlling and I couldn't confide in her or ask for support for fear of setting her off fussing and worrying. Although we get on well now I still wouldn't say we are all that close and never have been. I vowed to be different with my DCs and have managed despite having tendencies to worry and being risk averse myself, DH balances me out as he is very chilled, my Dad is too and was always the one I turned to for support. But on the other hand I think DH has ADHD and probably dyslexia which puts quite a burden on me as his work takes all his mental energy and I have to do all our admin and organising and pick up the pieces of the untidiness and general disorganisation. Food for thought.

Hurrah! Eldest has just passed his driving test! He starts his new grad job next Monday for which he needs a licence. Hopefully he won't have to be driving all over the country just yet - he's only driven the instructor's car so far. And the small issue of not actually having his own car .....

Fabulous @Seeline , and best of luck to him for his job start next week!

Well done to your eldest @Seeline , it’s so important.

Well done Seeline ds. 🚘

Ds1 came home for the weekend which was so nice. He is so busy I don't know how he fits it all in. He bought me lilies, we all watched ds2 play football and ds1 ran the line. we had steak, then gammon. I helped him by proof reading his business risk essay and offered suggestions because it was a bit waffley and did not offer enough solutions and suggestions for managing mitigating and tolerance of the risk. Plus he's taken over as hiking club treasurer so I looked at his forecast. He's got one more essay to do which he's going to do soon, before his massive exam in the summer on tax. This is the dreaded one, tax, so he's going to give it his all to pass first time, because he's heard the resit in October is even worse.

I've got ds2 who just needs egging and cajoling to do some revision for GCSE's.

Well done to him @Seeline ! DS's instructor is taking him out for a mock test next week, he has a test booked but not till July, I am cautiously wondering if we should be looking for cancellations sooner. When he comes home for Easter we are going to put his insurance back on my car so he can practice, he may have to take his test in it as his instructor is away on the booked date (he has driven it a lot and it is a Toyota Yaris so nice and small).

Well done to your DS @Seeline !

DS been home a week and working hard for finals etc plus an hour at gym per day. Bit of a miserable Easter holiday but hopefully worth it eventually..... I think he has decided to earn money for a year then go back for Masters in history related subject if not pure history

Well done to your ds @seeline! Was it you who was despairing of him a few months back before he got his grad job? Glad it's all come together in the end!

Good luck to your ds when the time comes @ExpensiveDecoration

Dd is now waiting for her new provisional licence, having had hers revoked. It seems to be taking ages. She's hoping to get the theory test done ASAP.

Hope ds passes Tax @Oblomov24 ! A year earning some money sounds like a good idea @craggyrat

@crazycrofter yes - I was despairing. Still am to be honest - he rolled in at 6.30am on Sunday morning, having said he was going to the pub. Fifth time in a week he'd got in after 1am. DH gets up for work at 6.30.
Having to start work at 8am after a London commute is going to be a hell of a shock for him!!

Good luck to everyone doing final bits of coursework and prepping for finals over Easter. DD still got another year to go.

DS has a LOT of work to do over Easter, he is only coming home for a week. Dissertation plus three other assignments all to be in by mid May. He made a flying visit home this weekend, and DD went up to see him last week, other than that we're not going to see much of him I don't think.

Congratulations to your son @Seeline!

DS arrived home yesterday. He’s back for 4 weeks, but needs to do some revision as he has 1st year exams in May. DD is back tomorrow. I can’t believe she’s heading into her final term.

Well Ds may hopefully be going to France for 3 weeks over Easter. I can’t say why but he’s hoping to sign a contract in the next couple of days.

Congrats on the driving test!
Easter here will be a slog too- DS is knee deep in revision for A levels. It’s so hard to know what the right amount is and I don’t want him burning himself out, but equally don’t want him to sit around when he could be working.
DD is coming back to the UK for Easter, a nice easy time for her as she had her fourth year yet back in Bristol.

@seeline Great news on the test & good luck with the job.

Good luck to all those finishing dissertations and sitting exams soon at all levels. Much patience to the support and snack providers.