Please tell me how to be positive about the empty nest..

[ssd]

Youngest moved out recently and decided have an empty nest. Its not uni, its proper moved out. About a couple of hours away.
I feel lost and bleak and really really low.

Can anyone who has been through it tell me what to do to be more positive?

I feel im sinking. I work, see friends, have a good dh. Ive got no more family outside my own dh and kids.

It scares me how low i get. I didn't expect this.

I’m same stage as you op

can I say HRT? Even if your periods have stopped it might be worth a low dose

hobbies - no hobbie will replace motherhood. Lower your expectations. Go to random things anyway. Just for a change of scene. You don’t have to love it just mildly like it. And slowly you will find that the days feel brighter.

DD is going to be spending a year abroad.

Poor dog is being love bombed by me 😂

I might try hrt again although I didn't like it the first time. I'm now on anti depressants although it's for anxiety, not depression. It's not making a lot of difference either.

Its just a case of getting used to it really...

Empty nest syndrome and the nest is not even empty yet!
I am a single dad to a brilliant beautiful daughter. We have been Best friends for the past ten years and I am very proud of her.
All things come to an end I guess: she is going to Uni in September and I am already struggling.
My problem is she has been the focus and purpose in my life. As she is getting older she no longer needs me and I am already feeling very anxious about her going... My ex wife has moved on with a new boyfriend and it has suddenly dawned on me that I am going to be on my own very soon.
I feel really bad as I want her to follow her dreams and would not stand in her way, but feel like I have already started to push her away a bit to try and get myself prepared.
I know I am being stupid and sellfish.
I really don't know how I am going to cope, any advice would be aporeciated

@DaveH21 you will be pleasantly surprised at how often they are home - the holidays are long!

It's really important that our DC see that we're doing fine even if we have to pretend for a while. Think of things you fancy doing - gym, walking/running group, chess club, a project round the house, maybe some online dating. And your DD will enjoy visits from you - take her out for a nice lunch.

Best of luck.

I've been thinking that I've not seen @ssd around for a while. Hope she's ok.

@DaveH21

It really isn’t so bad. I’ve tried loads of different things (dance classes, cookery classes where a shared dinner is part of it) since being a empty nester to the point where DD asks me what ‘cultural wankery’ i’m up to this week 😂

Definitely don’t push her away, it’s A levels coming up, it’s pressurised and the whole moving away thing is daunting enough for a YP without feeling like her Dad has had enough of her… not your intention but maybe the effect. You’ll both settle into a new groove once uni starts, and there’ll be visits both ways and the holidays are looooooong ;-)

Wishing you luck.

to the point where DD asks me what ‘cultural wankery’ i’m up to this week

😂

Have you got a holiday booked with DD after her exams @DaveH21 ? A city break perhaps?

Mine went travelling a month ago, and it was a shock to feel so sad and to be grieving like this. I’ve never had anxiety before, and Ive started having panic attacks! I still have one at home who is only 12. It feels so unfair on him to be in such a state.
Before he left he was living mostly at his dads, and working. So we barely saw him which was okay. I never expected to feel like this. Im reading a book called “Healing the Empty Nester's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Parents After the Kids Move Out”
it’s very good and has practical things to help with it.

That book sounds good.