Thread 47- Covid GCSE Cohort - Summer's running away from us!

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

...it will be Christmas before we know it.

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.
Previous thread https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parents_of_adult_children/4792342-thread-46-gcse-covid-cohort-searching-for-summer-solstice

My DD aspires to be Ms Undercover agent too, but her shyness, possible ADD and lack of interest in shopping means I have to be somewhat involved, I do have to instigate some of it. She will wear clothes till they fall to pieces. DS (ASD and more) asks for and accepts help readily (and I also go clothes shopping with him, mostly in Next) but he is definitely getting more independent. They are both a LONG way off things that many DCs their age do though such as holidays or festivals with friends or travelling abroad without adults.

It’s strange @EversoDetermined dd has been travelling across the country/going to festivals/visiting friends etc by train since 14-15 and went to Croatia on her own this summer. But she’s still forgetting to make her lunch/running out of time for a shower etc! 🤔

@crazycrofter I think in my DD’s case it is that she is resolutely a home-body, no interest in parties, festivals etc, she rarely meets up with friends and most of her social life is still with us. So no impetus to travel. With DS its more to do with anxiety and until uni all his friends also being neurodivergent with a real mix of impairments, he is spreading his wings more now but definitely later than average.

@Shimy great need that you're DS is in a better place. I think I'm on the same Facebook group as you. I have to hide the feed sometimes as it's so scary.

This thread is on fire right now. Lovely to smile to.

Shimy, very good to hear the upturn on your DS’s MH.

Hope the reflection on your DS’s so close but no choice but to repeat year 1 outcome results in him coming back stronger and wiser 283

And bravo to all the young people securing work over the summer and possibly beyond! Nothing like the feeling of spending your own hard earned cash 💰

What a nice day's worth of posts to catch up on. A lovely community of mums (and dad) understanding their DC and quietly providing the support they need. Love your DC biogs @Delphigirl 😂

Great to hear your good news @Shimy, what a relief that must be

Pre surgery exercise classes @craggyrat?? I didn't even know that was a thing! Hope it helps you to power through 💪

And @283nouveauxnoms, god that's harsh, not allowing him to just do the one piece of work needed to take him over the threshold. And ugh at the tone of the email. But - hopefully he can rationalise it as something the dept has decided with his best interests in mind - that knowing what Y2 will be like and how much more is at stake, they know it will be best for him to have a really solid experience of Y1. I bet he will sail through next year and move on to Y2 full of confidence and feeling great.

My DC are always surprising me with the things they can't do yet, and the things they can. DS needed help to let student loans know that he has switched courses, which was super easy online. But has found himself a (very ad hoc) job by himself. I tend to err on the side of caution and check they are ok with stuff sometimes when not needed, so do tend to get some withering looks and "MUM! I'm not a CHILD" type stuff from time to time. I guess that is in the job description for mums of teens 😂

By the way, there are quite a few of us here with neurodivergent DC. There is a smaller FB group for parents of ND students, similar to WIWIK, a lot more understanding of the particular issues, if anyone would like to join feel free to message me.

DS was not in catered, he did have a mattress topper with had an uncomfortable crease down the middle due to the way it was packaged, never evened itself out, and I only bought the unused doorstop because YOU all told me to!! ;)

Fiddlers.
I wonder if year 2 will be reduced? Year 1 car Jenga where you can't fit another fag paper in, will be easier because they realise they don't need half that rubbish stuff?

Omg oblomov it is like a nightmare!

Year 2 has to be easier. I reckon she’ll take fewer clothes (although probably even more knickers) as she realised she didn’t wear a lot of what she took. I won’t buy her any food in advance but opt for ‘you know where Aldi is, I’ve sent a bonus £50 to your account’ … quite a lot of last year’s start-up groceries came home. But the main difference is all the stuff that’s uni-only (bedding, kitchen kit, etc) is in a lockup less than a mile from the new accommodation, so two trips is now necessary, but also possible (a trip of 135 miles and one of a mile!)

That said, the car was pretty full on the way back even so, and I can’t even figure out what was in it 🤷‍♀️

I’ve remembered my one niche parental support (lol) thing. I buy her bras. She’s an unusual size (like - she’s a size 6 or 8 in clothing but a Bravissimo bra size). I don’t think I had a properly fitting bra until well into my 20s, they cost a bomb but make everything look so much better. So that’s my indulgence by proxy.

DD has an even smaller room next year and is planning to take the minimum. She did buy a lot of vintage clothes (and hats! so many hats!) last year and won't take them all this time around. Some kitchen items returned completely unused. I'm also a fan of "you know where the shops are, here's some money" but then again she is within walking distance of both city-centre and huge supermarket, a campus experience would be very different!

My DS is about to start his 4th year (did a foundation year thanks to covid) and seems to have more stuff - he has kept all his kitchen gear, as well as clothes etc, but keeps adding bits of furniture too! Nothing massive - small shelving, small drawer sets, full length mirror etc. Luckily he is staying in the same house this year so no car Jenga, but not sure how it will all come back at the end of the year. Especially as we've just got a new car, and I don't think that the boot is quite as big as the old one. We'll find that out when DD goes back into halls this year.

My DD has been buying furniture while at home "for her eventual house/flat" when she sees a bargain in antique shops! No idea how that will work out. Her room here is getting pretty full.

DS will be moving from catered to self-catered halls, so will probably need a bit more kitchen stuff (he did take a couple each of bowls, plates, mugs, cutlery etc last year). A lot of the "might need" stuff came home unopened, things such as sewing kit, first aid stuff but will be going again. But his room was unusually large last year, he won't get that again. I won't send the clothes airer as he never used it. Probably won't send the DSA printer either, that never got used. Presumably won't need the mini fridge in his room either but he might want that for cold drinks. He does need bulky outdoor gear such as wellies, walking boots, waterproofs plus hockey kit. That's been one good thing about him finishing so early in summer, he was able to play most of his home club's summer friendly season which ended last week and pre-season training starts again next week.

Dunno what my report card would look like given we did no open days- DD did a joint ( with other place) online subject specific open day - and no offer holder days.
No mattress topper or doorstop. I did the obligatory car Jenga with her ‘stuff’ to take her there but haven’t set foot in her college since- thanks to UPS and LNER!
I reckon ‘normal service’ will resume for Yr2 🤣

I’m being allowed to do the real house shopping, I was really looking forward to an IKEA run. DSs girlfriend wants to go to IKEA too so I’m going to swap him for her! 😂

DD is so much more enthusiastic about uni shopping then DS was. I can't wait for her to come home from Ghana so I can have an IKEA trip. DS is oblivious to the fact he might need stuff when he moves into his house. The number of times he's called to ask why he hasn't got something (a tin opener for example) and I've directed him to the box under his bed/third shelf down in his wardrobe...... I really am going to be kicked off the HE threads 😱

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn just sent you a message

Really, you should just leave him to open tins with his teeth...

I left DS to ut, frying eggs last week. An hour later, I realised he hadn't switched the hob off.

Re : Higher Education threads, I find it much more balanced over here.

Good news about DS @Shimy . Hope you doing OK @craggyrat.

Dd is independent in some ways ,mostly those that involve making money/ getting jobs. I do indulge her , she's my only and my Ma was positively neglectful.

I'm very good at knowing her style and what suits so will often pick her a bnwt dress from Vinted and I like to decorate her room ect at Christmas. We bought fairy lights for her new uni room Sunday.

Going back into halls again this year at Reading uni. Seems v weird not having results day hanging over us but having the Freshers thing going on.

Dd has broken up with controlling boyfriend. It seems he didn't like the fact that she chose Reading (1hr away) over Winchester (1/2 hr away) . She suddenly realised how unsupportive he was when she was in Cardiff. Much biting of tongue in my corner. I told her all this last Oct/Nov. Still she is set on a path towards Teaching /Education now and even reading set books!

Do we have sproglets waiting for results coming up BTecs /Alevels/IBs/ GCSEs?

Yes we are waiting GCSE results for DD2.

The break up must be a relief! How is she coping?

That sounds like a relief Orange, onwards and upwards for all the DC moving from Y1 to Y1 💪

Luckily at Nottingham their fresher's week is the first week of term, otherwise DS would be in his shared house on his own. He hasn't told his mates about switching to his new course yet, I don't know why, maybe a bit embarrassed or just doesn't want it to be a big deal 🤷‍♀️

I have DD awaiting AS results which are important here, 40% of the final A level grade and presumably the basis for their predicted grades, since she hasn't received those yet.

Waiting for gcse results for ds here.

Waiting for A level results here, although it doesn't seem real as I haven't seen DD for nearly a month.