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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Original poster

Thread 46 - GCSE Covid Cohort , Searching for Summer Solstice

990 replies

OrangeCinnamonLatte · 24/04/2023 22:12

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.

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Shimy · 10/05/2023 15:03

All the best with your son's essay. The musical theatre sounds very exciting and I notice you say it is non-course related. He sounds very talented to have co-produced something that is now opening further doors so I wish him all the best with that.

DS1 has just told us he has asked for an extension on his dissertation. The deadline is meant to be this Friday and I was hoping it'll all be over by then but he only asked for a week extra so hopefully not too long now.

@ealingwestmum I'll never forget my my experience with our local multi storey car park. First time of driving there and the windy path leading into the parking area was like ascending a hill. At the very top of it were the barrier gates which I proceeded to drive through, only the car got stuck! on each side. The barriers were just too narrow for the car. Several cars were piled up behind but even if there weren't, I couldn't reverse. It's my most embarrassing and expensive journey to date and have never driven back to that multi storey again.

ealingwestmum · 10/05/2023 15:06

😱😂 Shimy!

Comefromaway · 10/05/2023 15:20

Hope he gets the extension he needs.

With regards to the theatre show. The MT students had to do a pitch and present part of a show they’d written/devised as part of their course. The intent was a short extract performed concert style with piano. However ds’s friend went a bit OTT and produced a full show worth of songs with linked dialogue. He asked Ds to be the pianist and to orchestrate it so they performed with a small band.

independently of this the show was submitted for something (that hasn’t yet been announced) which it was selected for so they will have a public showing of a 20 minute extract.

EwwSprouts · 10/05/2023 15:34

@Comefromaway What talented young people! Will we hear of the yet to be announced or is it local?

I picked up a new area manager from the train station and went to park in a strange multi-storey. I took a wrong turn and drove up the down. There were metal barriers between the two so I couldn't change lanes. Luckily the car wanting to come down spotted me before he committed to the lane. Manager didn't ask for any more lifts.

Comefromaway · 10/05/2023 15:39

It’s at a regional venue but with a reputation for supporting new writing.

EwwSprouts · 10/05/2023 15:44

Sounds a great platform. We're not a creative family and I'm in awe they can do this.

PhotoDad · 10/05/2023 16:23

@Comefromaway That's amazing!

Unexpected change of plan here. DD had a blazing row with her friends yesterday and ended up deciding to come home earlier than planned, so she jumped on a train and she's here now (we'll drive down to pick up her stuff in my half-term)!

Last night she was pretty upset about things on the phone to us and worried about what will happen in second year (so we all had sleepless nights) but she has hugely perked up, has already started talking of getting to know some "acquaintances" a lot better, is arranging to meet an old schoolfriend, and is planning on applying for summer jobs to keep busy and get some cash. She's decided that she did her best to mend bridges, and isn't going to let it get her down. Not the best end to what was (right up until then) a really lovely year, but she's doing her very best to turn it around already.

Delphigirl · 10/05/2023 17:17

Do you know photodad that’s a lucky escape, if these were the people she was originally planning to live with next year. Much better to know now than when she is committed to living in a house with them for a year next Sept. She sounds super-resilient and sensible so I am sure this is all for the best. Stressful though!

laughing at the multi story disasters 😱😱😱🤣

MargaretThursday · 10/05/2023 17:50

DD's a bit stressed because her accommodation application has the wrong course on (similar but not the same). She spoke to admissions who have confirmed that she is on the course she thought she was, but said she had to speak to accommodation to get it changed. Accommodation say that they can't change it, and she has to speak to admissions.
I can't see that it actually matters in the big picture, but it's stressing her out.

Oblomov23 · 10/05/2023 18:21

I too am laughing at the multi story disasters.
At least ds submitted something Comefromaway.

Ds1 is revising for the next 2 weeks. Then exams. He doesn't finish till June 15th. Can't believe so many of yours have finished and are at home already.

DontCallMeBaby · 10/05/2023 19:08

Another one with the Fear over motorway driving - I want DD to have a couple of lessons as I can’t cope with the anxiety of accompanying her OR with her just doing it one day. I drive happily in motorways myself but bloody hell you need your wits about you with the standard of some people's driving.

DD got 74% in her speaking exam today. Can’t believe that a year ago she’d not even started her exams and was not guaranteed to even pass them …

I too have a multi-storey tale of woe. I unwisely took my previous car in with a roofbox on top. It hit the soft barrier that tells you not to go up if you hit it, but I somewhat panicked. I then got stuck some way into the carpark as the concrete beams were getting lower and lower … had to call my dad, get him to let himself into my house, find the roofbar keys, then come and help me take the box off. It was very stressful, and the first of the only two times I’ve ever parked in a disabled space (on the carpark attendant’s instructions).

NCTDN · 10/05/2023 19:30

Great parking stories Grin

Original poster
OrangeCinnamonLatte · 10/05/2023 19:55

whispers I don't actually drive.
I never could afford lessons at Sixth Form, then I lived in London then I moved down to South Coast and just commuted for a number of years. Now I work from home and DH drives a train. I can't really see a point.

Dd is desperate what cars have yours all got?

@Heifer thanks for the message hope you doing OK. I've decided to step away from Dd relationship, not comment on it at all. We are trying to be super supportive and positive about her studies. She wants to stay in Cardiff as she realises she'll never get the chance to live so cheaply in a city again. Her BF is not supportive of her studies, so trying to create some contrast there. We live in hope.

OP posts:
Original poster
OrangeCinnamonLatte · 10/05/2023 20:12

@Comefromaway sounds like a fab opportunity! Everytime I read about your son I then get 'seasons of love' as an earworm !

OP posts:
ProggyMat · 10/05/2023 20:16

@PhotoDad well done to your DD for realising that there are many layers of silver but it’s often best to wait until ‘the clouds that they line’ dissipate.
Enjoy having her home!

Comefromaway · 10/05/2023 20:48

One day I will be in a pub quiz where they ask how many minutes are in a year. One day.

Comefromaway · 10/05/2023 20:48

Dd drives an Hundai i10 Go Edition. It’s a fab little car. So much do my work colleague bought one for his daughter too.

ExtremelyDetermined · 10/05/2023 20:56

We have a multi-storey car park tale of woe too. DH did the same as @DontCallMeBaby and forgot we had the roofbox on going into a multi storey, it was an old fashioned concrete NCP one with low ceilings. As we approached the barrier he said "I wonder why all those cars are tooting their horns" and then thud, he had hit the sprinkler pipe in the roof. Water was spraying everywhere, there was a queue of cars behind us and the one immediately behind was a convertible with the roof down. Eeek! DH got out and pushed the pipe upwards while I reversed out and all the other cars had to back up. I then had to drive off and find an open air car park in a city centre I'd never driven in before while DH found the car park attendant to get the water turned off. Attendant shrugged and said it happens all the time.

DontCallMeBaby · 10/05/2023 20:58

@OrangeCinnamonLatte DD has a 12.5 year old Ford Fiesta Zetec. We just had the one car before she started learning, which is an automatic VW Passat estate so really not an appropriate learner’s car. We’d intended to buy newer but it’s an unusually high spec car for a small one, including aircon - we bought it on a blisteringly hot day and none of us could countenance a car without 😄 I had to test drive it as she couldn’t do it on a provisional licence - I did a good job, fortunately.

I do quite like having a second car sometimes - I can leave one at work overnight if I go away, or bugger off for the weekend without leaving DH carless. The irony is the latter was only really a problem when DD was at home, and much younger.

Piggywaspushed · 10/05/2023 21:06

DS seemed to enjoy his Ball. Their mission was accomplished. Which appears to means drinking much alcohol.

He did say he was rather surprised when he woke up this morning that he had hung his suit up in the wardrobe! I think memories may be hazy.

ExtremelyDetermined · 10/05/2023 21:09

We have a car conundrum re DS too. He is having lessons at uni but will obviously be coming home soon. We think he might go back for lessons say once a fortnight over summer but we haven't got a suitable car to practise in, mine is automatic and DH's is a big diesel MPV. However next door bought a little one for their adult DS who then moved to central London without taking his test and has no need for it, it just sits there on their drive and they take it out once a week or so. Am wondering if it would be cheeky to ask if we could borrow it for the summer if we insure it and pay for a service. Or even buy it off them although its pretty new and therefore expensive. Hmm.

crazycrofter · 10/05/2023 21:31

@ExtremelyDetermined he will definitely need a car to practise in if possible. Dd had about a year of lessons but barely any practice in between and didn’t make great progress. It was a waste of money to be honest. It was the week of solid practice with u in our car the week running up to her test that made the difference. We’ll be doing things completely differently with ds when he starts learning in August!

ExtremelyDetermined · 10/05/2023 21:34

Yes, the other thing is practising in his test area, which is at uni rather than here so we were thinking get another car for practice here and go back once a fortnight or so for lesson/practice in the test area. TBH I think he's some way from being test-ready (dyspraxic).

Seeline · 10/05/2023 22:21

DD has finally got a test booked - not until early October but SLondon seems virtually impossible. We were thinking of trying for a cancellation as her instructor said aim for August but I think as we've got one on a day she can get back from uni for, and a day the instructor can do, we'll probably stick with it. She will only be at uni for a couple of weeks so shouldn't be too out of practice and DHs car is the same as the Instructor's which means she can practice lots.
She's got her DSA interview tomorrow. Having only just had her fibro DX, she's not really sure about what she needs to say, but hopefully the assessor will be helpful.
Seems very strange to hear all your DCs are finishing already. Hope all their exams and assessments go well.

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