Thread 46 - GCSE Covid Cohort , Searching for Summer Solstice

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had.

Previous Thread

Oh @Siriusmuggle I'm so sorry to hear that.
Has your ds been in touch with his tutor to see when the retakes are?
@OrangeCinnamonLatte that's a very good point you've made. But I think the unis attitude was he doesn't need to repeat the part he's passed already. But of course that was when they were still encouraging him to have a bash at this semester's exams. I wanted him to recover properly. He had low vitamin levels giving him anaemia- like symptoms. Plus he's also been on Roaccutane all year. I think a combination of all these things plus having ADHD towards the more severe end of the spectrum all conspired together.
I would like him to get a job for a few months & just grow up a bit. As he was very young going off to uni. He's still not 19 yet. But of course this all depends on the uni letting him temporarily withdraw.
As we haven't heard yet. I don't know what we will go if they don't. As we're signed up for a house costing us over £700 a month 😮
He's planning on living in his shared house in Surrey whilst working he's just informed me. I think he's recovering & is off the Roaccutane thank goodness!
Thank you so much all of you for being so lovely on this thread. It's just the most supportive thread. I've been so reluctant to post on at times because I sensed that things were not going well for ds. I think he became more introverted as the year went on. He did have a lovely catch up with his flatmate last night, as he returned to clear his room.

Sorry to hear about your ds' year @cantonet. Ds was on roaccutane for most of year 11 and it was awful for him - migraines, back ache, constant nose bleeds etc. What's worse, it worked for two months and then his skin reverted right back. And he still has the back ache. I hope your ds doesn't have any lasting effects and fingers crossed he can get some help with his ADHD. That's one of the reasons I'm not encouraging ds to go to uni, as I've heard of people with ADHD who've fallen apart in that environment -but equally, with the right help, he should be able to manage. Hope he can just repeat the second semester and get use of his house!

@Siriusmuggle hope your ds can re-sit the same essay and improve it. Dd has to do all her January exams (5 of them) in August, as she was ill in January and they won't tell her until July exactly when they'll be. It's meaning that she can't really plan anything for those weeks.

Great news about Reading @OrangeCinnamonLatte !

@Cantonet it is lovely that DS wants to stay with his friends while working, BUT just checking you know that they will have to pay council tax if one of them is working. Should be able to pay at 75%, but sadly it is another nasty to factor in.

@Monkey2001 thank you for that. I'm in shock & had no idea that he might have to pay council tax on top. That would just be prohibitive. But literally how would they know? And wouldn't the 6 month uni return exempt him?
Umm ... he might have to stay at home then.

@Cantonet you can call the council to check, it is just better to know in advance.

Actually @Cantonet, it may be worth looking at the number for redoing first year - the loan and everything might get into a muddle with part years. As a student repeating the year he could have a part time job and hopefully would fly through the academic work he has already done. I am not saying that is the best choice, just that you could run through finances and mental health implications of a range of options.

@Cantonet there was someone on WIWIKAU FB this week whose son had got caught out on the council tax as someone had dropped out of uni, started work and not told the rest of them, I think possibly they check with the unis somehow.

@cantonet, this is from the citizens advice website:

If you're taking time off from your course
As a full-time student, you might need to take some time out from your course, for example, because of an illness or family commitments.
If you suspend your course but remain registered because you intend to go back, you should still be regarded as a student for the purposes of council tax.

The council will likely ask for a copy of everyones exemption certificate. The ones handed in so far only last for 1 year.

I hear you @Monkey re. Finances.
He's only applied for the tuition loan this year. It's my understanding that he will only pay half the year as he's returning for the second semester. He's not applied for student finance, as he had the money from his last academic year.
The main issue is how does the dsa work in this case. Plus it's tricky sorting things out because we don't know what's happening yet.
@Crazycrofter thank you so much for that information. I think he does stay on the unis 'books'. He will still have access to the academic material & emails or so I believe.
You're all so being incredibly helpful - thank you.

@Siriusmuggle Might it be worth contesting the group task mark? I know two students who did because the third in the group dragged them down. At first it was no remark but they were able to produce an email trail showing they had asked how his bit was going, could they see where it was at etc before the deadline and he was saying going great when he hadn't done anything.

@Cantonet No practical advice to give, but I hope that it gets sorted out.

DD got first year marks back today, two modules were Upper Seconds and the other two modules were Firsts, and she's very happy with that! Still enjoying her internship and working incredibly hard when she's "clocked on."

Group work can be so difficult. I had an OU module - had never done group work before- where only two of us contributed. Nearly drove me up the wall.

@ealingwestmum - sounds like your DD is having an amazing time.

@PhotoDad - glad your DD is enjoying the internship and well done on the Marks!

Dd came home yesterday and my washing machine hasn’t stopped since! She doesn’t get her results until the end of the month so we’ll have to wait and see but she doesn’t think anything was disastrous so fingers crossed she’s passed the first year. It was funny as she cried when we left her there in September and she cried leaving yesterday!!
Can you believe Year 1 is done!!

Which reminds me... had to get a new washing machine (old one finally died). It has an option to pause the cycle within the first few minutes to add the sock that you inevitably find on the stairs! Game changer, made my day. (Rock 'n' roll lifestyle.)

I can't @cariadambyth ! DD came home Fri. Everything is still in bags all over her floor.

My DD's room looks like an explosion in a art-supply shop at the moment! Crafting stuff everywhere. She's making sets for a stop-motion puppet animation as her "fun" project at the moment.

Bit of a dilemma here. DS is in his last season at U16 in his sport (windsurfing) and he's really good (he's in the GB team for the Junior world championships this summer, in Brittany). If he wants to continue competing at the U19 level he would need entirely new kit (£££), and to step up to the European circuit (£££££). The money could be found at the expense of other family activities. If he does that, he would stand a good chance of being picked for the Olympic programme. That would effectively mean him selling his soul to the team (the training is intense and is mostly based Down South). He has a few months to think about it, but we really don't know whether to encourage him one way or the other, or what to advise! He's torn, because he has a lot of other hobbies which he enjoys. He could still continue windsurfing for fun, and even gain his coaching qualifications. WWYD?

@PhotoDad a friend's son was in a similar situation regarding Olympic squad opportunity. He spent a few years trying to juggle sixth form / university while training and then realised that he was just outside the squad - so training in effect to be the backup. He sacrificed a lot in terms of social life / friends / time to do it but eventually realised that it was unlikely he would end up taking part in the Olympics and he was losing more than he was gaining. So he quit....I guess it depends whether it will impact on future options and how likely he is to make it?

@handmademitlove That's a really useful insight, thank you. You're right that the squad is bigger than the final team. One thing would be to see how he does in the Worlds, I suppose... a podium finish could indicate future Olympic potential? But if he's way down the table, not so much.

I am the least sporty person you could imagine so all this is a little odd to me!

I think this is a really difficult one Photodad, but you want to be in a position that you say to him ‘you’ll support him, either way’ whilst making him own the ultimate decision.

From what you have posted, you have a bright, driven young man who has already has many interests. Bring super good at something doesn’t always make a great Olympian, often those who want nothing else but to achieve the highest accolade in their field and are very single minded about it, are those who would get the most out of pursuing that path. But of course it takes sacrifices, and at some point, a world outside the sport. Those with multiple interests, it’s a harder call.

Anecdotally we have known a couple of sportspeople at that level through DD, one whose medical career has been pushed further back due to squad selection (and stalls, covid etc), to ultimately be taken out by injury this year at 25. Even Adam Peaty is wrestling with demons right now. And he’s a success story.

Great opportunity, but get him to think also about life the other end, risks (funding, injury etc) and good luck on the decision making!

@PhotoDad tough dilemma. I've got a friend whose son was in a v similar situation in a different sport but after a levels. He decided to go for it because he can always go back to studying. As it is he's doing an OU degree at the same time but at 19 that's a more feasible option.
I think for you it depends on your DD as well- she's the other side of the country isn't she?

Thanks, @ealingwestmum and @NCTDN! I knew that this thread would come up trumps; we don't know anyone in this situation so even anecdotes are helpful. Unless he goes and wins the World championship (which is unlikely but not impossible), perhaps it's a decision to re-visit after his A-levels? Hmm.

We will certainly support him whichever path he takes, and he has to make that call, but it's good to have a list of consequences to work through with him. Open Uni wouldn't be so great for the course he's interested in, unfortunately.

One other option during his sixth form years might be to put racing to one side (or 'just' compete at regional/national level) and work towards coaching certificates, which he'd enjoy. I gather that would almost guarantee free working-holidays in the Med with PGL/Mark Warner...!

@PhotoDad a teacher friend told me about a student who dropped everything to focus on his sport and then did "not quite" make it. It is a gamble isn't it! I suppose you need to try to quantify the gamble and decide whether it is worth it. Maybe X% chance of getting into team, Y% chance of getting a medal, and make a list of the sacrifices involved. I don't know whether he is lucky or unlucky to face that choice!

We have sock flap in Samsung washing machine. My favourite thing about machine is that it plays The Trout when it has finished, which happens to be one of DS's favourite pieces, the machine is off his bedroom so he discovered it!

@PhotoDad could he try to find a sponsor to help towards his new kit? Or someone who is keen to help developing talent?
We have a windsurfer and someone else into sailing (both international level) and they both manage despite as you say the training being so far away. Another option people take near here is to represent Wales as there training is nearer (even if it's south wales).
How much does you DS really want it? I think I would like to support as much as possible so if that means everything on hold for a while then go it. Just because someone isn't winning now doesn't mean he won't be in a few years and visa versa but he won't win if it's half and half. Nothing wrong with opting out and staying at more
Managing level either though. Tough decisions but only he will know how much he wants it.
Good luck, you sound like a lovely, talented family.