Would you go into your adult child(ren)'s room without asking permission first?

[ireallycantthinkofaname]

As title! Relevant as I very recently (as in, today) told my dad to get out of my room when he came in without asking and startled me - to put it mildly, we do not have a good relationship, and I do not want him going in there as I try and maintain it as somewhere I feel totally safe.
Him being able to go in/out without permission means it isn't that anymore for me. But I can see it might be unreasonable because he's the parent (though the house is owned by my mother).

He should knock and wait to be invited in before entering a ladies bedroom.

I go in my student son's room when he's away, to tidy etc. When he's here I knock, from about age 10 upward.

Oh yeah, I meant when they're in there. I don't mind being told I'm an entitled brat if that's what I am in fact being - I genuinely don't know on this, or know what 'the norm' is.

I knock before I get into my teen and preteens rooms.

I used to move furniture in front of the door when I was in my bedroom to stop my SD from coming in. I moved out at 18. If you don't feel comfortable then I suggest you do the same.

I knock now with DS1 (10) and often with DS2 (7)…if they’re not screeching for me!

I'll go in sometimes when they aren't there, to put washing on their bed or whatever.
When they are in the room I'll tap the door before entering, as I have done since puberty, in case they are getting changed or whatever.

No
All mine are adults now but the rule (for all of us) was to knock before entering
Unless you count the time I was trying to get my sons dog out of there (I was dog sitting) and I did own up at the time
I wouldn't dream of just walking in

How old are you? It's sounds odd that you need a safe space from your father, yet are still living at home. Are you a student?

This

I've never gotten along with my father.. and he would still stand and knock until I said come in. Even when he was raging and abusive to me. He did not want to see me naked.

I knock my DS8's door.. I mean he never has it shut anyway and has nothing to hide/still wanders about the house in his boxers most of the time, but it's nice to have space away.

Can you move out?

I wouldn't dream of going in either of my daughter's rooms without asking. DH won't even go in eldest DD's room when she's not there, as he says it feels intrusive (unless she asks him to fix something or whatever). He's her step dad though, so maybe that's a difference, but irrespective, I think everyone deserves to have their privacy respected.

Privacy is vital for everyone in a household - my dd is 20 and I’d never go in without knocking first and her saying come in.

“totally safe” seems an odd choice of words - do you not feel safe in your home?

I announce myself rather than knock. They have a fair head start given I go nowhere without mental Velcro spaniel. Covert is not an option.

Agree with @Xrays.
It feels like there's a bigger story here?

Incidentally, I don't go into DD's bedroom, other than to put clean washing onto her bed after she's left to go to uni.

I knock on my children’s doors. So yes I’d knock on an older child (adult)’s door too.

If the door was shut, I knocked. And that was from whatever age they started shutting the door. Maybe late primary age?
I certainly would never enter an adult DC's bedroom while they are there, and very rarely (and only if really necessary) even if they weren't

He is absolutely out of order not knocking and waiting for a reply.

I'll to into ds's room when he is not there, but he trusts me it is just because I am picking up plates/glasses on my way by, turning off a light he's left on or retrieving something and I am not nosey. If he asked me to keep out when he was't there too I would respect that.

My dad would never have entered my room without knocking as he would be terrified what he might see 🤣. If your dad won't listen to reason I'd ask my mum for a lock or if they don't want to fit one buy and use a door wedge. I too worry about your use of the word "safe" from your dad, noone should be made to feel uncomfortable or unsafe by their dad.

I don’t have adult children but my father never entered my bedroom, at least not once I was old enough to remember. He’s knock and then I’d step out into the hall to chat to him.

I’d also never enter my parents’ bedroom unless expressly asked to do so.

On the other hand though, you could argue that the house is your father’s (you say your mother owns it but I assume they’re married and it’s the marital home?) and he’s entitled to walk into rooms in his own house.

That said, I think a lot depends on your age, and why you’re living at home.

I knock if they are in there. But otherwise yes, it's my house, they use my cutlery and crockery and I reserve the right to go in and retrieve my stuff. If they want complete privacy they need to save up and move out, eventually.

My adult child is 22 and is fine about me going in but she also has a key and can lock her door when she goes out (younger sibling known to "borrow" stuff). We keep a spare in case of emergency (or to put away her washing which she really should do herself!)

My DDs are early 20s and I always knock before going into their rooms. Have done since they were about 10 probably.

I knock if he is in there. Though I still have to go in repeatedly in the mornings to get him to wake up.

If he's not in there I don't ask permission to go in. There are household items stored in some of his cupboards, but I wouldn't root through his stuff without permission.

I'll knock if my SS is in his room - but his jar is often ajar. As it was today - It is an utter shithole.
I took photos of the pigsty and I sent it to him and said he needed to clear it up- and he said - get out of my room.
I told him he could do one.
Sick of the whole house stinking like his room. He's 23 and has been out all weekend drinking.
He contributes so little to the family.
He pays 250 board a month and genuinely thinks he pays his way.
I want him to start saving and get his own place. I've had enough.

I stopped walking into my daughters room since they were around age 12. At most if they’re in school and I can’t ask them to do it themselves, I’ll stick my head in and scan round for any cups and glasses they may have hoarded if I’m running out downstairs 🙄 I’d never just walk in when they’re in there