Thread 45 GCSE Covid Cohort - Bunnies bouncing into Spring

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

previous thread

I haven't got any coherent advice @Oblomov23 but wanted to send my sympathy before logging off MN for the night. So sorry that your friends are being awful.

Wonderful Delphi, what an experience for him.

Photodad, both your kids must make you swell with pride, good luck on your son getting through the process. I thought about your DD tonight after a 3 hour zoom figurative workshop just with a very successful (in contemporary art terms) artist that was being transmitted globally. I

Oblomov, you are having a really bad run. I hope your friends calm down very quickly and forgive you.

@Oblomov23 Your friends sound batshit! Adults who have an opinion but won't own it? What do they think the HOY is going to do to them? Sorry your back is so bad. Chronic pan can be utterly debilitating.

@Delphigirl I'm envious. My DS would be envious.

@PhotoDad Congratulations on your DS progress so far. Sorry no knowledge in that area.

Gosh @Oblomov23 that’s incredibly harsh of your friends and I’m so sorry you’ve now not been invited to this party and that you’re having such a rough time of things

oh @Oblomov23 that all sounds crappy - your back and your frankly cowardly friends. It’s a lot. Have a good cry but then keep your chin up. If they are embarrassed that you said what they were thinking then fuck ‘em.

@Oblomov23 why are your "friends" behaving like moody teenagers?! Well done for doing the best thing for your DS. Have you tried a hot bath for the back pain? Maybe with some aromatherapy oil.

Oh @Oblomov23 , these things don’t get any easier do they?
We have so much snow. I really mind that my hip won’t let me go for a walk.
Our girl is doing ok , lots of applications in the pipeline and she’s starting as a volunteer ina charity shop. She doesn’t have many friends irl, but I think I worry more about that than she does . I needed so much validation at that age.
Went to see Girl from the North Country last night. It was mindblowingly good. Part-of our plan to do more stuff just for us.

Behaving like teenagers is def what @Oblomov23 friends sounds like!
@PhotoDad I'm going to Google that as it sounds up DSs street!
Who's got snow? DD has in Bristol- I was shocked by that but she is amazed by how many friends who are southerners say it's the most they've seen!!

@NCTDN wr had several inches of snow yesterday (Hampshire) but it is raining steadily now. Still a lot on the grass though as it's only just above freezing.

@Oblomov23

@Oblomov23 : sounds like a somewhat childish response from your mates. Hope they calm down soon…
@mummyinbeds : replying on your York question. Ds is there but doing a stem suggest so higher hours. He was definitely looking for a relatively quiet, campus type space and absolutely loves York. Of all his peer group he is the one who has settled best and fastest (and has an autism diagnosis so that was not a given…)

college system:
each college has different facilities but most will have I think at least college support staff; some larger shared/socialising rooms - some have sports rooms/music rooms.
in practical terms, colleges are flats or catered spaces with a hub. there are lots of social events organised at college level: so nearly all the freshers week stuff is at college level (although often joint events with another college - eg two colleges share a club night). In Ds college they have a weekly supper at the local hub included and also a very informal brunch every week (drop
in) and a lunch (ditto). They also organise regular events - some clubbing but seems to be more low key stuff - for example in the first term they had weekly bake off viewing every week and the college provided ingredients for a different cake each week which you could pick up as a flat and make and then everyone judged the different flats contributions - other events like pottery decorating, ; occasional trips to local places, quizzes… there are lots of college level sports which are less competitive than getting into uni teams of course although Ds found them still quite high level as a low sport type person! My sense is that the college system seems to help people settle faster: especially introverts - it’s less intimidating to walk into a college event in the early days than go to a uni level event or club. Although lots of those and Ds is now involved in a couple.

in comparison to bigger unis the college system
does I think mean less of a big student union type space and approach. I don’t think there’s anything like an arts centre/theatre/gig centre for example. There is of course clubbing in the centre - 3/4 main clubs - but my sense is it’s perhaps less manic party than some places. Which suits Ds.

teaching has been mostly excellent for Ds subjects - one of his personal tutors is hands off but the other seems supportive.

DS loves it - it is absolutely the right space for him but it definitely feels relatively laid back in its energy - but we live near london so he didn’t need the big city experience and didn’t want full time partying. (Although Ds flat has a bunch who do party much harder!!)

off college accommodation is pricy. Ds is paying iirc £175/week next year (inc all bills) and they got somewhere relatively cheap.

hth. Yell if any other questions. It’s been great for Ds but I can totally see it’s not for everyone. Ds was confident it wa the right place for him at the open day.

oh - also really impressed with their SEN support Ds was invited up for a few days before term started: events were open to kids with various additional needs inc dx/children from care/mature students/widened access students etc. Met a little gang of very similar ND kids and helped him feel orientated and that he knew the space. They had various courses and talks but the main thing was getting familiar with people and the place - excellent approach imo.

@mummymummyinbeds I would second what has been said about York. There is no central SU - most clubbing type events take place in the city centre and often shared with students from York st Johns. But the colleges mostly have their own bars and social / sports events - but you can attend other colleges with friends so it is not segregated in any way. My DD is also autistic and was not looking for the typical student experience! She has joined a few societies and found her tribe, as it were. The pastoral support has been good and she has settled well. She is also doing a stem course so can't compare on timetabled hours. Her house for next year is around £140 / week excluding bills and is a 15 minute walk from campus.

Oh dear @Oblomov23 , it’s awful when you do something like that without any bad intentions and it backfires 😢 I hope they come round soon and you start to feel better as well.

@Delphigirl sounds like your ds is having an amazing experience 😮

Lots of snow here and it’s still falling. I’ve chickened out of going into the office, as it’s an hour away!

@Isthisjustnormal thats really interesting about York. I think I’d have loved it at 18, but I’m glad dd declined her offer as it would definitely be too quiet/gentle/sheltered for her!

Dd is still massively behind due to her glandular fever/tonsillitis but has made a few trips to the library with friends to catch up on lectures. She has never been able to work alone very well so I’m relieved that her closest two friends are from her course.

@Isthisjustnormal I want to go to York for bake off and pottery painting! It sounds like a great way of building communities, which is much harder now that universities are so big. When I was at Bristol there were 7,000 students, now there are 22,000, so breaking it down into smaller cohorts makes a lot of sense.

Thanks all. Crazy is right, I was trying to do good for all, ds2 is actually doing fine, easiest kid ever! So I wished I'd never bothered! You lot aren't going to disown me, leave the group, and tell me I'm not not welcome at the (thread) party, are you? No!

Just Had my mammogram. Prepared myself for the worst, thinking that it might be quite uncomfortable, as many people said it was. It was actually totally fine, not uncomfortable at all, and I actually quite enjoyed it.

and I actually quite enjoyed it

This just made me laugh. I was 6 years overdue on my mine, put off purely because I remember how painful it was years ago. Would rather have gone through child birth again with no meds (it was surprisingly fast) than squish my flat chest in a vice.

Some things do improve with time! Glad you’re feeling more upbeat Oblomov

An enjoyable mammogram?!! I’ve never had one - what have I been missing?

@Isthisjustnormal @handmademitlove thank you so much for the York info. I think DD would fit in perfectly. Although she's fairly outgoing and makes friends easily, we live in a small village and she goes to school in a very small town. She's never been clubbing (she's still 17) and I think would be happier in a bar with friends than Nottingham style clubbing. She would love a Bake Off evening 🤣

Her other two favourites, Aberystwyth and Keele, are also more laid back but centered around the SU which I guess is what she had in her mind.

The emphasis on student welfare came across really well at the offer holder day and although the politics department is fairly big, her course only has 25 places and the students she met seemed liked a close knit bunch and on first name terms with the staff. DS only has 11 on his course but he is only aware of two of them. They are lost within the huge Law and MFL departments.

I'm guessing young Isthisjustnormal lives on East Campus? DD says she would be happiest in Derwent (politics department is there) or Vanburgh (next door). She refused to look at The cheapest accom in Halifax just because of the walk 🤦 I did point out there will be a walk in second year anyway.

Final visit to Aber at the weekend and then decision time. This was so much easier last year as DS only wanted to go to Nottingham before we'd even started looking.

@Oblomov23 your friends sound like teenage girls! Are they all talking about you on Snapchat too?

I am confused by your enjoyable mammogram. It hurt like hell when I had mine and the woman doing it was like a robot. I actually worked on a mobile mammogram unit when I was at uni (as the receptionist) and would be so much nicer to those ladies now.

Aw, I had a lovely mammogram experience too, maybe because I really hate smear tests, but the radiologist(?) was lovely.

@mummyinbeds I made sure that my DSs understood that if they chose expensive accommodation, it would mean they had less spending money. I agreed to fund the basic accom and they would pay for upgrades from their minimum loan, unless they applied for cheaper options but were unsuccessful. Both very happy to choose shared bathroom accom on that basis - DS1 so he had more beer money, DS2 to fund his protein requirements!

My mammograms have been in the mobile unit, it turns up at a location about 200m from my house which is handy. I find it uncomfortable but not excruciating (I am of medium build in the chest department). Last time when I went I noticed a sign on the wall saying "this service is staffed by females only" and I commented about what a good thing that was as I would feel really uncomfy half naked in such a confined space with a male radiographer (there wouldn't have been room for a chaperone) and she sighed and said yes, but they are coming under a lot of pressure to change that. That would put off a lot of women IMO.

Oh I hate smears more than most other things, I find them incredibly painful.
I was expecting the worst, but the nurse was just the loveliest, soft and gentle, gently pushed and pulled me into position, 'shimy over to me, chin up, bottom out', it was fine, not even uncomfortable.

My last smear (a few weeks ago) was different, I barely noticed it happen, other friends have said the same, apparently they have changed the way they do them. Following my birthday the other week I got a letter asking me to do bowel cancer screening, all good fun.

@mummyinbeds hope the final visit brings clarity. Dh went to Aber and had a good time. I’m a bit sad that ds doesn’t want student debt so I won’t get to do any more open days! I’m filling my time researching degree apprenticeships instead, which isn’t so much fun!

@mummyinbeds my dd also enjoyed freshers more than she thought she would with all the craft / baking / not alcohol related activities! She also found a chat group for her college before she went last summer and made connections with like minded people so she had someone to go along to freshers events with. She seems to have made friends with students in other year groups as well through music and other societies - this has really helped her to settle as she has older and wiser students to ask silly questions of and seems to be quite common. She is in halls on west campus.

Does she have a bike?

Everyone in York bikes!

I'd be tempted to avoid Halifax , to be honest.

Alcuin is nice.

I'm a Vanbrugh girl!!