Reasonable rent for adult son

[FancyFran]

I would like to get an idea of a reasonable rent to charge DS (24) when he moves back from London in the summer. He has asked to move back in to facilitate saving for a house . He has been gone for two years. He earns above average wages and has no debt other than a student loan. We are Southern based. He works from home 3 out of 5 days with £320 travel costs pm. He is an athlete and eats like a horse. I asked for £300-400 a month. He thought that too much. I paid £100 pm in the early eighties. Advice/ averages? My friends don't have dc at home.

You might be surprised how much an additional adult adds to the bills. When our first two left home, they dropped dramatically. I mean by a few hundred a quarter.

I guarantee I am not making a profit off my grown kids at home. Quite the opposite. Having there here is also stopping me from downsizing my home with all the savings that would bring.

If you want to charge, take what it costs to have him there. So food and whatever the bills increase by. That’s fair and he gets to buy his house sooner than if you’re taking more.

Good luck with your treatment. 💐

Sounds cheap to me, it's not even £100 a week

It doesn't really matter if OP does profit, though at £400 a month I doubt she will, I wouldn't underestimate the inconvenience of another adult moving in, DS is 30 and we would be greatly inconvenienced if he moved back home to save money.

I’ve just seen you’re moving and about to take time off work - I’d say no to having him live with you - it’s easier than the stress of living together when it’s not what you want.

£250 towards bills and funds his own food is more than fair.

I would say as an aside, set some clear rules in kitchen etiquette and late cooking rules.

I’ve had two male lodgers that thought it was fine to be cooking at 10pm. This disturbed everyone else in the household and I had to ask the first to stop, the second I told him it was a rule before he stayed for a month. He was fine about it but surprised as he did previously.

I'm confused. You said he's always worked and funded his own high end car at 19, but then say you've just finished paying off his car.

It's reasonable for an adult child in an established job to contribute to the household. It isn't really their responsibility to account for their parents choosing to move house and requiring unpaid time off work.

Personally, I'd request additional costs only and set a time frame for him to he moving out/buying his own place.

I'd never seek to profit from my DC living at home, but to cover ANY of their costs whilst they are earning a good wage is out of the question.

If your outgoings change by them living at home, then the cost should be passed on to them, unfortunately this is real life, nobody gets a free ride.

Have you still got a room and furniture in the room for him to live in full time. When DS moved out we repurposed his room and although it's fine if he comes down for Christmas or a few days like any other guest, I would have to shift loads of stuff out if he was actually living and working in the house for any length of time, I use the cupboards as storage for other stuff. Where will his stuff go, have you got space for this without being inconvenienced

I charged my adult son the difference in council tax ( £200 a year) and he pays his own food costs. As it works out, we cook and eat together regularly, and we each contribute to the shopping. There is no formal sharing agreement, but if I added it up carefully, I would possibly be the one benefitting, I am not sure

I wouldn't be surprised at all. My grown children come and go. Thats how I know the main difference is the water bill.

If they are at work all day, they'd have to be running a weed factory to make a major impact on the electric bills. The gas remains unchanged. Perhaps yours come home at peak times for gas usage anyway so it seems like the bills increase?

For me, the main difference is losing the 25% council tax rebate.

If I was paying for their food, that would definitely increase my bills a lot, even though they are mainly out of the house at work during the day. Young men and older teen boys really do eat a lot.

The rest of the charge is profit. That may be a good or bad thing, but that's what it is. Op appears to be moving for unrelated reasons so she can't say it's about keeping a room for him.

Honestly, that's probably the best advice! Op obviously doesn't want him back home. Better to be upfront. It's not the worst thing to say.

I really do know the difference between what the bills were when they live here full time vs how much they dropped when they left home. It doesn't seem like the go down, they actually do, a lot.

I do know if I didn't have two of my grown children at home right now we'd be downsizing with all the benefits that brings. I don't need six bedrooms anymore. A smaller house would also cut my bills. There's no point downsizing until I can do it properly. Downsizing to four bedrooms is not really worth it.

I've offered to let them either pay the amount that doesn't actually cover their real costs (and are mostly things like medical insurance, phone plan, the streaming services they want anyway) or have them pay me nothing (not asking them to pay rates or rent) and we can divide the bills as we would with someone not related who stayed here, they can cut loose from the family phone plan and other insurances and do all that independently, etc. But they know that will cost them a lot more and they are getting a good deal, so they are happy with the arrangement we have.

Hi OP, I have not RTFT but have read all your posts. I don't think it sounds as if you don't want him living at home. It sounds as if he's a good negotiator, pushing his luck and that you have enough of your own going on. So maybe give him a time period and you both review after that.

Other people's circumstances are always going to be different. DD 25 earns a very good salary and lives with me. I have paid off my mortgage so we split all bills in half, she buys and cooks her own food plus half of any house/cat related stuff, plus does all the housework. I might add that this last is entirely her own choice and can be slightly irritating.

We both think it's fair and she's been looking for a house to share in London but rents are astronomical and I would rather she saved in the meantime.

Wishing you all the best with whatever you decide.

@Nimbostratus100 Is your council tax £800 a year?

Weird about the bills, but I guess we are on different packages. Are you UK based?

My electric - half the cost is the standing charge anyway. I have a smart meter so can see daily changes. There is very little, which does not surprise me as light bulbs use very little, nor do chargers, they run one wash a week, the cooker is used once or twice more a day, that's about it. What are your adult kids using for electric? Are they working from home?

Gas - heating a semi costs the same regardless of occupants. Again, standing charge is a substantial part of the charge. I guess a 6 bed where only one bedroom is heated vs 6 is going to cost more though.

Water - yes, definitely increases!

That's it.

I downsized as soon as mine left home but that's my choice, not their cost to pay or saving to make. Houses are a good asset investment. I wouldn't share my profit with them (well I would but that's not the point lol) so I don't expect them to contribute. Anyway, mortgage is paid so what would they contribute to in any case?

I guess op could just literally bill her child the difference in utilities bills as and when, between what it cost before and after. Smart meters are particularly helpful for that.

Looks like you are going to ask £250 then and he funds his own food. From what you have written, it looks like he can push his luck, so stand firm about him buying / sorting his own food.
I would also consider setting out some clear ground rules as he has asked to return to suit his own purposes. If he is working from home three days a week, this could be very disruptive, especially if you are around due to leave of absence. Don’t let him take over the house!
Think hard about what you might find annoying about having him around and use to help draw up rules. Make it clear you are not there as cleaner / cook / housekeeper. Perhaps also say that after six months you will need to review the situation, consider how it’s impacting on your life and if it’s working for you. From your posts he does sound as if he might only think about his own interests. Don’t let him ride roughshod over your interests.

No, I'm not UK based.

I don't expect mine to contribute to the mortgage, though downsizing would probably mean we didn't have a mortgage at all. Financially, I make a loss allowing grown children to live at home, they just offset that a little. I don't mind though. I like having them here, so they are most welcome. If I didn't, I suppose I could make it more fair to us, whatever that means. I don't really charge them due to their age, it's more about making sure they understand financial reality.

OP's son sounds like he's doing fine financially, so he should contribute. How that works is bwteen them though.

We don't change

Dsd is meant to be saving for a flat, I've sat down with her and helped her with a savings plan (I'm the money astute one) and her dad will double what she saves (she doesn't know this). My dd is close to her goals flat deposit wise but lives in at work

I didn't know what to charge my daughter's boyfriend who just arrived one day and didn't leave.

He didn't pay anything for 6 months. I got fed up with it and just told him that the government would give me £350/month for having a Ukrainian family stay so you can pay this amount. I don't charge my daughter rent as she is still at college. They also pay for their own food.

I am a single mum on a low income. I am not eligible for universal credit. During the summer both my daughter and her boyfriend earned more than me. They don't like the food I provide, so this is largely why they buy their own and so far they have been happy with the financial arrangement.

@farnworth thank you for your thoughts, they are spot on.
Son is a lovely chap but money orientated and use to living a good lifestyle at home. He eats like a horse and is very political. Not our politics!
I did pay off his car so he could get a better mortgage (I am now worried he will upgrade and chop it in!).
He is very talented at refurbishing houses having worked on refurbishments with a family member from 14. This is what he is intending to do in his leisure time. It is not his profession.
My DH and I are just about to move to a downsized house. It does have bedrooms for both DC (DD at university). He is a big personality with a good heart but a closed wallet. I don't mind him coming home for a bit but both DH and I will resent him being a flash Harry if he lives for free.

We charge dss 25 £250 pm. We buy and cook all of his food for this too. He's on around £24000.

rainbowandglitter, that sounds extremely fair on your son's salary. I don't 'get' all this charging money and then expecting adult child to buy own food; I've never even heard of doing that before.

And clears up stacks the dishwasher etc !

I paid £60 a week to sleep in a box room in halls of resident in the 90s.
£400 per month with food included is a bargain.
Given that he is quibbling I think I would just say no to the Agro that this will cause.
He clearly has no idea how much bills rent internet council tax all cost.
Doesn’t sound like you are keen to have him home.