Reasonable rent for adult son

[FancyFran]

I would like to get an idea of a reasonable rent to charge DS (24) when he moves back from London in the summer. He has asked to move back in to facilitate saving for a house . He has been gone for two years. He earns above average wages and has no debt other than a student loan. We are Southern based. He works from home 3 out of 5 days with £320 travel costs pm. He is an athlete and eats like a horse. I asked for £300-400 a month. He thought that too much. I paid £100 pm in the early eighties. Advice/ averages? My friends don't have dc at home.

Yes, it's not so much rent as 'keep', to use a lovely old-fashioned word.

He would expect you to say he can stay for free. It's what most middle class parents would do. If you don't want him there and the money is to make life difficult I guess there are two schools of thought there ...

1. He will leave quicker as it's not saving him a lot.

1. He will stay longer as it takes longer to save up.

It's their keep. Bills are higher with more people whether it's heating, electricity, food, laundry, etc etc.

I think it infantalises adult children to support them financially while they are in fulltime employment. I was proud to be contributing to my household when I was 21.

That's a bloody bargain! Can I move in?!

I think you've answered your own question when you said he's taking the mick, and he is.

Explain why and stick to your guns.

I hope your treatment goes well.

I would go with 10% of take home pay which will raise by 5% per year. It might incentivise him. Also he buys his own food or pays a third of food bill. Good luck with your treatment.

I think it infantalises adult children to support them financially while they are in fulltime employment. I was proud to be contributing to my household when I was 21.

If someone VC was moving in permanently I'd agree that contributing so everyone gets a bit more money is nice. But if the purpose is to save for a deposit, then you'd want kids to do that as quickly as possible. So expecting them to cover their costs is fine but making money from them being there, not so much. To me, anyway.

I used to pay £320 a month to live at home but I did offer £400

I now live alone and pay £715 for rent alone without other bills so thinking back I think that £400 is very reasonable. Mine included all bills that mum would pay too.

£200 seems to be the standard amongst people I know who charge.

Just spoken to DH he says minimum 10% take home pay, bloody cheek otherwise! Husband not high earner, public sector worker. Son does cook, clean, washing, gardening etc. Our DS is coming home to do up a house he is buying. He is a bit spreadsheet Phil! Likes savings (we had a lean spell when he was a child). I don't want him to think he can use his parents dosh to fund his asperations.

We have 3 adult, working, children living with us for a short while. As they are all saving for deposits I'm only charging them £100 each per month. They do all their cleaning, washing and cooking, just occasionally eat with us and shop for their own food. It makes sense to help them save more. Their money mainly goes towards the bills. If it was long term I think I'd definitely charge more. It's all dependent on circumstances and if you can subsidise them or not. I know some parents save the 'rent' they are given and gift it back to the child when they move on. It's whatever you feel benefits both sides.

How is he taking the mick?

it’s not his fault you are moving and your costs are due to increase!!

making a profit from your children is in my opinion very questionable parenting

Just tell him you don’t want him living with you @FancyFran , it’s fairly obvious from your posts that you don’t want him back

We charge my 20yr old ds £150 per month. In context we told him to go and enjoy himself for a couple of years because covid robbed him of being able to properly celebrate turning 18yrs old and the time after that. He passed his driving test during covid. He turned 18 during covid. He did his A levels during covid.

He has been all over the country with his pals having nights out. He works in an average job getting average pay and spends it on nice clothes, BMW car, expensive trainers........ Even in an average job he earns plenty.

Here is the thing though. He knows how to save. He works hard and plays hard. He doesnt have any debt. He has over £30k to his name and when he decides to move out he will have a chunk of his own money to use. Until then i am happy to take the £150 or maybe a little more to make sure he knows i am not a dormat.

I know we are fortunate but i also know if things get tight i will have his support if we need more.

DS (23) is living with us (South East) at the moment and we're charging him £150 month which we know is on the low side. It probably barely covers the food he eats. But it's a short term thing, as he's planning to move out early next year.
He earn £55k.
Does his own laundry and cooks twice a week for the family. Pays for any takeaways etc himself.

I would go with £250 for bills and he buys his own food and cooks.

I wouldn't charge anything unless you can't afford it.
If money is tight then one third of the bills (assuming you, DH and DS) excluding mortgage.
Both of mine came back home for a year or so while saving for a house and I didn't charge them anything - the more they save up the sooner they can buy a house of their own.

@Quitelikeit questionable parenting? Wow, from wanting to charge a adult highly privelaged man a bit of keep.

I have found a range of figures which have helped me. Our son was part privately educated and I have just paid off his car. Tbh we want to close the bank of mum and dad. We are both in our late fifties and wanted a bit of peace. He will inherit enough.
@greyhairdontcare I am going with your figures.

100% this. Why can't you just tell him?

Keep to the £300 rather than £300-400. That seems fair.

Why do you have to fund your kids when they're high earners? Why are you funding their lifestyle to your detriment?

I don't get this..

I have a 24yo DS who works, he is bone idle lazy indoors, likes to live life to the max..should I not charge him to live at home, while I'm out of pocket and he's living it up?

Personally, no parent should be out of pocket funding their adult kids when they're working, unless of course you have so much money it isn't noticeable.

She's not looking to profit. She's asking about him covering his own living expenses, which it's unlikely what she charges him will.

Mine pay a bargain amount to live at home. I itemised it for them. They pay for their medical insurance, a share of the streaming services (they don't want me to get rid of some of them, so they can contribute to the cost), their phone plan (which is part of the family plan), car insurance, and a little towards food and other bills (which doesn't actually cover what they consume).

I also expect them to buy their own clothes, pay for appointments, their transport costs and their hobbies.

It's not really about the money, though it's helpful, but about them stepping up to adult responsibilities and having a realistic view of how life works. They know they are getting a very good deal.

DD1 works hospitality, so money varies, depending on shifts.
We charge 30% take home pay currently.
When she gets her post degree job, rent-will be half current market value for the apartment that she lives in. (That we own with the bank).
She pays electricity and for her own food.

But what are his living expenses?
There's no additional council tax charge if he lives there, gas bills will be unchanged, electricity would increase by a small amount (one machine wash a week, lightbulb, phone charger, possibly TV or laptop charge) but half if not more of a daily electric bill is standing charge anyway, fridge possibly costs less to run as more full, definitely an increase in water bills. What else is there?
He should be cooking and buying his own food as I bet he isn't around half the time anyway, or back for meal times, if anything like mine.
The additional charge = profit

My son moved back in during lockdown and as I was having supermarket deliveries all his extra food beer and toiletries ended up on the bill.
I also lost my single council tax discount.
I asked for £400 back then and it didn’t cover the extra costs - we’ve had some inflation since and your son shouldn’t be saving at your expense.
If he won’t pay his own costs as an adult I’d suggest he carries on renting; my son shared cooking and did his own washing etc. He moved out to a rental flat again as he’s years away from having enough savings for a deposit.