Thread 44 GCSE Covid Cohort - Countdown to Christmas & New Year

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

I'm from Scotland. The idea of hiking, camping or even outdoors horrifies me!

I did go camping when I was in guides and used to be able to sail but that feels like a whole other person. However, in common with a lot of Scots I think mountains are for looking up at, and for mad English people to climb up.

@Piggywaspushed As a colleague of mine said, the Outdoors is wonderful, viewed through the window of a luxury hotel. DS tends to agree with me, but DW and DD enjoy slogging up hills. Takes all sorts!

I'd love to go walking in the Scottish hills. DH never walks far, he says it hurts his back too much. He does walk a mile and half at least once a day with the dogs. I always go further if he's not with me. The dc's aren't keen on walking either.

Ds2 is really annoying me with his daytime sleeping. We rarely see him as he's always asleep. I opened his door a little at 5pm and said we are having a Chinese take away tonight (something we haven't had for about a year) I asked what he wanted to eat, he said nothing, I'm asleep, go away, shut my door. He's still not done any of his essays. I know he's awake in the night because he cooks pasta, so he's days and night are round the wrong way. It's just as well I can't see what he's up to when he's in Sussex.

@icanbewhatiwant its so frustrating isn’t it? Luckily DD’s job now means she’s up at 7.45 am so is keeping more usual hours. Before that, she’s often jump I. The shower as I was serving dinner or be fast asleep at 6pm but then banging about between bathroom and bedroom at midnight when we were asleep. I do t remembered being nocturnal at that age. I think all night clubs and phones have a lot to answer for. Clubs were only open u til 2 am in the 80s/ early 90s!

Oops lots of dodgy typing.

@Benjispruce4 that sounds like Ds with the shower and bathroom at 2am. Ds was offered a job for 2 weeks full time up until Christmas. He decided not to do it as he has 4 essays to write. The 2 weeks he'd have worked ends tomorrow, he's not started the essays yet. He has also decided he has adhd which is why he can't get written work done. He could try waking up and sitting in front a pc/book, it will help him to get work completed 😡

Sorry I’ve been rubbish at keeping up with this group. DD home now for Christmas, not that I actually see her. She’s out partying every night and came home drunk at midnight last night.

DH just wouldn't let anyone sleep that long ! Wakes DS1 up at 10.30. No choice...

But then he isn't going out partying so it's not like he needs the sleep. DS2 is up by 9 even at uni but he seems to think all his flatmates are.

I honestly can't remember what time I got up at that age but I left home at 17 with a brief return one Christmas, so no one to know or care really.

I don’t think my mum would’ve either. She’d be in opening curtains, saying ‘Get up, don’t be lazy!’
Thing is, I would’ve felt bad and got up!

My parents strongly disapproved of ‘lying in’ too. I can never really understand the logic of it? If you’re awake the same number of hours and get the things done that you need to (ok, that bit can be problematic for teens!), what’s the problem?

Ds, who’s a full on night owl, has to get up at 6.30 for work at the moment. Unsurprisingly he had a migraine yesterday evening and had to miss today. He thinks it’s social conditioning and he can’t understand why he can’t just work 10-6 instead of 8-5! Both kids are still constantly back and forth to Birmingham, it’s exhausting driving to stations constantly - and usually quite late. Today dd got a shift with Festival Staff - at a light festival in Birmingham… So I’m out later to pick her up from the station. At least these winter jobs she’s been doing suit student hours - 4 til 10 today.

@crazycrofter I think having curtains closed during daylight hours was seen as slovenly or even suspicious, laziness was a sin etc, etc. We were brought up Catholic and DM would say things like, you never know when Father Murphy will call in- he never did .😂 It stays with you.

@icanbewhatiwant that would drive me mad. My family are all very conditioned to regular bed times and anything past 9 is a huge lie in!
DD is only getting up around 10.30 some days and that's incredibly late.

It's almost 10pm. No sign of ds2. He didn't have any dinner. I'm not off to bed. When he was younger I used to take the wire out the back of the home hub so he couldn't game and talk to friends late into the night. I'm tempted to do the same again. He will be furious though. I also thought of putting the child lock on the hob to stop him cooking pasta at 2am...maybe that's a bit childish, but he is annoying me.

I'd be tempted about turning the Wi-Fi off.
Does he do these hours at uni?

My family was very sleepy and DSs are the same. My dad was self employed and worked from midday to midnight most days. I remember being told that when we answered the phone to clients we should not say that he was asleep, just that he was not available!

There is research about teenage brains being nocturnal, there was a school which adjusted their timetable to accommodate it. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-27357031

@Oblomov22 I did Boursin stuffed mushrooms tonight - what a great recipe, so easy and so delicious, thanks!

@Monkey2001 Ds tells me that all the time. He's sent me the same link too. He says it's perfectly normal. He's actually up now so is coming for a dog walk with me in a minute. So at least I'll get to speak to him before he goes back to bed.

@icanbewhatiwant it is lovely that they want to join you for dog walks. Mine will walk the dog, but not with me. I let mine sleep half the day in the holidays, I can't say I like it, but I don't let it bother me too much, but they don't treat me with much respect, so I am not a great example! I would have more of a problem if they were missing the evening meal, but if he just quietly cooks himself pasta, maybe you need to just tell him which meals are non-negotiable.

DD likes to join us for a dog walk occasionally but usually if we’re going somewhere different and not the regular, local ones.Sometimes she’ll take the dog out with bf.
DD1 used to hate walking when she was little and a teen but now often phones me when she’s out for a walk in London because she’s been wfh all day. Looking forward to picking her up later. DD2 is at bf’s until 24th. Her work is quiet now as she works on mortgage completions.
I’m coughing away and it’s making my head 😞 bang. Hoping I’ll feel better pretty damn quick.

Any data on that school now? Can’t help but wonder about those that left school at 16 and got a job-DH for example. He’d laugh his head off.
It’s the late nights. Now DD has to be up for work, she’s asleep by 11pm. Before that she was up late, sleeping late.

It's a private school so would be hard to measure really. I think they reverted!

The main time I notice kids at school being ridiculously tired is after holidays. They do themselves no favours completely changing their body clocks when they try to change them back again, really.

From a family of early risers, that's easy for me to say.

That’s the thing, society is scheduled around early risers. I’m convinced it’s genetic though. I’m a semi-owl by nature but just generally have always struggled with sleep and not got enough and dd is the same. But she can cope with very little, which comes from dh, who was always able to pull an all nighter if needed.

He’s an extreme owl and ds is the same - even as a baby of less than 12 months he hated mornings. I used to wake him at 8 for breakfast and he’d be really grouchy for an hour until going back down for a nap from 9-11! Whenever there’s nothing to get up for he reverts to owl hours, but his problem is he gets migraines without enough sleep so making the switch back to school hours is really hard. Dd can do it without feeling unwell.

Our local college switched to 10.30 starts a few years ago, also only having two periods a day, one morning and one afternoon, with 2.5 hours each (or something like that). Based on the teenage body clock thing. I’m not sure if they still have the late start but they ditched the long blocks fairly quickly, not popular with the students. Neither of my two have gone there though. DD is a complete night owl and will stay in bed till lunchtime. DS was always a lark until covid, up by 6.30 every day, then he became a bit more nocturnal, tends to lie in till 9-10 now. DH is more of a lie-in /late night person, I’m in the middle, go to bed 11-12 and get up 7-8 regardless of what day it is. When the DCs were younger and couldn’t go out alone or be left by themselves all this was a real PITA at weekends. DS up at 6.30 and raring to go, DD wanting to sleep till 11, caused a lot of arguments because DS always wanted to go out and didn’t see why he had to wait 5 hours for DD.

We had a great day out at the world darts championship yesterday. I have been out for early supermarket shopping and am now watching a re-run of the darts to see if you can see us (you can).

Ye so think genetics play a part. DF was an early riser like my DS. I’m like my DM and do not rise easily. Having children was v hard for me as I’m don’t cope well without enough sleep. In an ideal world I’d sleep 11-8, then a slow morning routine of a tea in bed to rouse me. This is my weekend routine while DH does park run!! He’s the early riser in this house. I think my girls are more like me in that you risk a sharp tongue if you try any early morning conversation.

Dsis

Oh god yes, the early conversation thing. I go from asleep to fully awake instantly and am a chatty person. I frequently get told off by DD when I drop her at the station in the mornings for daring to try and chat in the car 🙄.