Thread 43 - GCSE Covid Cohort ..November 22 Remember Remember

[OrangeCinnamonLatte]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and advice to be had

Previous Thread

DD could probably pay for train home out of budget, to be honest, but it's over a week's worth of food. We won't subsidise other travels (she is talking about visiting friends in the summer); her plan is to get a part-time job next term, but we'll see how that pans out. She is still loving her life, creating huge amounts of art, and has joined another small club. Today she and her friends are planning on walking along the river-bank to the next village along (about four miles each way) with a picnic, which sounds like a pleasant way to spend a Sunday to me!

DS (Year 11) has his mock GCSEs starting next week and then we'll be into A-level choices. He has no overlapping school interests with DD at all, so research will be starting from scratch...!

Very important @ScarlettDarling !
There’s so much stuff for them to do, DD has watched I’m a celeb in the JCR, attended debates at the SU, formal dinners etc
She views clubbing on week nights as her reward for handing in her weekly essays in advance of her tutorials! 😂
@PhotoDad that sounds like a wonderful way to spend a Sunday!
DDs bf is visiting her again this weekend and yesterday afternoon she sent me a video of rowers out on the river- could imagine myself sat there watching them all go by!

Should add that DD pays half of her bf’s train fares when he visits.
She wanted to see how she managed her work load in the first term which ‘ruled out’ her ‘taking turns’ to visit him ‘oop North.

Good to know those who were apprehensive about finding like minded people have done so and are enjoying the first term.

@Heifer Delighted your girl received a warm welcome at Beeston. DS is enjoying the after match socialising so much with his non-uni team that he wants to back a week after terms ends to go on their Christmas night out.

@EspeciallyD my DS went to, and my DS2 is now at, a 6th form college.
we don’t get much communication at all, like you, if there’s a trip or they want money for something then they email us.
they do have a parent portal on the website but it only shows us their timetable, which we printed out anyway, and then a section for emails they have sent out (to the parents) so we’ve seen them all already.
a teacher did CC me into one email they sent to my DS2 where they said a piece of homework wasn’t up to standard and it needed to be redone so I do have confidence that I would be informed of any other issues too. I think if the student is doing well then they don’t really feel a need to contact the parents at all.

I had far too much contact from ds’ new (school) sixth form in the first four weeks! Let’s just say he took a while to adjust.. His inner city, multi cultural boys grammar was very different to his new rural comprehensive. And girls don’t tolerate as much ‘banter’ as boys! But now that things are going ok, they don’t contact me and I’m happy with that.

Thanks all, I really don't have any concerns for DD at college at all but it just struck me a couple of days ago that this was the first time in both my DCs educational stages that I have no contact whatsoever with other the parents to just ask about anything I'm unsure of. I'm in a whatsapp chat with 5 other primary school friend mums, their DCs all went to the same secondary school and college (different to my two) so they ask each other stuff about the college in the chat sometimes and it sounds as though they get a bit more college info than I do.

I am just dropping DS off, he's taking his stuff back to his room, needed two trips as he brought home practically all his clothes for washing, plus sheets, towels, gadgets, hockey kit and we just stopped at Tesco to top up his food for him. It has been a gorgeous afternoon for a drive, going to catch a few more autumn colours now before it gets dark

@EspeciallyD : dd has just moved to a sixth form college: there are a few of her mates there so I have a parents WhatsApp from that but otherwise it would have been a parent wasteland! However we do get fortnightly emails letting us know of any absences from lessons and a monthly or fortnightly e-newsletter. There is a parent portal but I have to admit I’ve not accessed it yet! We’ve also got first parents eve next week. So far, hugely impressed with the college (it’s not one of our local ones so was a bit of a punt!

I've got no news. I'm on holiday, home alone, finally, for 3 days. I'm hoovering and cleaning, then planning on doing not very much.

No news from ds. Apart from can I pay for his new glasses 👓 £90.

EspeciallyD, I can't comment because I don't know anything about colleges but my gut reaction is that they're a bit less involved with the parents because they leave the children to just get on with things in a much more adult way.

Ds1 went from school to their 6th form, and I had parental meeting at the beginning of the year when they told us exactly what was going to happen and all the dates and they sent us regular emails. they forewarned Oxbridge parents of dates. they had meetings and with me to check that I was happy and everything was alright and wasn't DS1 doing well etc. and I felt very involved, loads of emails, loads of communication and I was very very happy with their duty of care towards DS1. I although tbf he and I did all the donkey work and he didn't really need their help with anything but as a school I thought they were really really good.

I doubt they'll have such an easy ride with my Ds2 cause he doesn't really know what he wants to do other than something sporty and he's not as determined and driven as my Ds1. so I have to wait to see what happens with him.

Emjoy your alone time @Oblomov22 !

I have just been looking at student properties for DS, having a browse and then telling myself that I really need to leave him to it. Anyway in my meander down the internet, this is what I found on a property for one of the main agencies...

If you are interested in this student property, please send through an enquiry. We are now accepting holding deposits based off the property advert. Please note we can’t offer viewings on this property due to the extremely high level of interest we are receiving.

Wow, so they won't even do viewings but are expected to put in a holding deposit without even seeing the house I am totally shocked!

@279Nouveauxnoms That’s what is happening in London. DD1 moved there after graduation this year and had to put a holding deposit down, view flat , then offer more than the required rent to secure it! Shocking.

Blimey, it is ridiculous isn't it @Benjispruce4.

I've checked what I can and nobody in Cambridge seems to be offering student houses for next year, yet! There are some rentals available Right Now and the prices are reasonable. There's even something new to me... individual houses run by companies who also own private halls (so, all bills included and maintained by a company). Hoping that DD and her friends aren't left behind if they follow the timetable provided.

In the meantime, it's reassuringly traditional that art/design students still spend time in Life Class.

I would not want to be trying to rent in London or Manchester, I think Nottingham, Sheffield, Leicester, Newcastle, Cardiff are still OK.

My example above was for Bath. Not even an amazing location or house that particular one.

I was annoyed earlier. It's ds's birthday today. He refused to let me give him money or tell me what he wants. So I did him an online Tesco shop. He did tell me what alcohol to get (he chose 12 beers and Jäger, plus ginger beer to go with jäger) i added a birthday cake and a few other bits. Then I had an email from Tesco this morn saying the alcohol was not available, they didn't add any substitutes 😡 Then when it all arrived Ds messaged to ask why I'd sent tinned tuna, tinned sweetcorn, baby wipes, baby rice cakes and a few other bits. I asked if he had a birthday cake, crisps, chocolate biscuits, his favourite fruits in the delivery, no he had none of that. It turned out he'd got half the correct order and half someone else's. He thought I'd sent the stuff as a joke. I thought he was winding me up about tuna etc. Anyway...I got hold of Tescos and he now has the correct food. But it ruined the surprise. Especially the silly Sammy hedgehog cake I knew would make him laugh. Also I posted his Xbox remote he asked for, plus I added a few joke type gifts, i paid £6 to get it delivered first class signed for, so he'd get it today, but Ds said the man on he desk takes a few days to process stuff. So Ds doesn't have it for his birthday. He thinks it'll be ready weds. So I was annoyed about all of it really. I've calmed down now.

I did get a FaceTime from Ds though. That was nice. He is still spending most days sleeping and then up until the small hours. He'd missed both lectures today 9am and 3pm. as he was asleep. He had breakfast 4pm and was eating lunch when I spoke to him. They are off out later. I told him he needs to sort out his day and night.

He's going to view a rental property tomorrow. He doesn't know anything about it as he's leaving it to the girls to sort out. I found a nice one online last night. 4 beds. 2 bathrooms. £150 per person per week including bills, which is less that I was expecting. He said they'd seen that one online. But he doesn't know if they are visiting that one. He's so laid back and happy to leave it to the others. He's also been asked by several others to share. One lad is on his history course and just wanted to share with Ds. So Ds felt bad saying he'd found a group already. Then the 2 lads in his house have gone into 2 groups with new people, both asking Ds to join them. How nice to be so popular!

Ds’s housing plans for next year have fallen through as the person organising the share has decided to live at home and commute.

The big student accommodation provider opens bookings on Saturday.

There was a post about the holding deposit malarkey on WIWIKAU (I am so hooked). £200 or something non-refundable just to look at a house. Absolute scam.

@PhotoDad i had a little look at student housing in Preston (no word from DD on that yet) and spotted some professionally-run looking houses. Don’t know if they’re owned by big student accommodation companies but they’re clearly not small landlords.

It seems a far cry from my day - my second year house had no central hearing, but did have a free gas fire in the living room as it was plumbed straight into the mains, no meter 😬 Rent was £24pw.

DD’s big night out in Newcastle was a bit lame apparently. And they’re commuting rather than staying over for the Liverpool comp, so she won’t be hitting one of my old haunts (the Raz is the final stop on that night out).

DD’s house plans for next year have also fallen through. She’s going to meet some others to form a new group so praying that works out.

@icanbewhatiwant Happy birthday to your DS! I would be really upset if Tesco messed up such an important order. I hope he saw the funny side when you explained.

I’ve come across holding deposits in London but they are just while the contracts are being drawn up, references checked etc & are usually then deducted from the actual deposit or rent.

@BlueMarigold I've calmed down now. I was upset at the time. The funniest part was I thought he was winding me up and he thought I was pranking him, until he told me I'd wasted money ordering stupid stuff and that if I hadn't done it as a joke then I need to learn to use the internet. At that point I realised he was serious. I had to send him my list to prove I hadn't ordered the stuff. The delivery man came back an hour or so later very flustered.

His mates had bought him a big Spider-Man cake too. They'd ordered Chinese take away. So I'm sure he had a great time.

icanbe that Tesco kerfuffle would've really hacked me off. And the no alcohol available?

There is the lovely aspect to your relationship with DS2 ican; that you both thought you were prank in each other made me smile.

happy belated birthday to him.

Me too. sorry ican.

But seriously when you go to that much trouble and some imbecile big company mess it up.... and I bet you they weren't apologetic.

So stressed at the moment. We had 'that' phone call at the weekend from DD - not sure whether she is doing the right thing, doesn't know how long she should stick it out to see whether it improves, no friends, lonely, flatmates are noisy and disgusting, she'd had (in her eyes) bad feedback on some formatives she'd submitted and didn't know how to progress. Doesn't know what she would do if she left, doesn't feel that she would be able to get a decent job.

She said she is tired all the time. Finds having to do all the life admin really hard as well as doing the work. And now she's got another bad cold.

She has an appointment to see her tutor, but not holding out much hope - everything seems really poorly organised. None of the staff seem to know what's going on.

I daren't even mention housing for next year....

I am normally pretty OK but can feel my anxiety really spiralling.