Thread 41 Corona Cohort - Autumn Adventures of our Adult Children

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

previous thread

DS had 4-5 hours today (Mon, Thurs, Fri) and has 7 tomorrow then weds completely off. I think he is around 23 hiurs a week as well excluding solo/team lab time.

@278Newnames you're a better person than me, I would have let him know how hurtful that was. 🙁 Although I absolutely sure he just didn't think it through from your pint of view and wouldn't have deliberately hurt you.

DS has 11.5 hours of lectures a week, not sure about tutorial times though.

@Heifer @JustHereWithMyPopcorn Yes I am pretty sure he just didn't think how it would sound and he wouldn't deliberately have hurt me. He is just not emotionally intelligent enough to know when to shut up. I imagine more he was thinking of not meeting up at all rather than me going off somewhere, but either way he needs to learn that some things are best not said even if you think them. I will say something about it coming across badly when I next speak to him or maybe get DH to tell him it upset me.

I know this's has been asked before, but now they are settling in, can I ask again about budgets?
DD is catered but it doesn't include lunches. If your child is in the same situation, how much are you expecting them to be budgeting per week?

DD is also catered but she does have £25 put on her lunch card from uni each week, although this now doesn't include weekend.
She will be getting in total £65 per week. This is basically us topping up her loan to the max and minus the rent then divided by how many weeks she is at uni (31 in her case). I expect her to be able to save from this and buy things as she needs them as I think it's a lot considering she isn't cooking, but she thinks she will struggle.... No way can she work until holidays though. DH said to wait and see but he thinks she may need more! I'm really hoping not or we will be eating bread and jam.

@omnishambles I think our sons are on the same course!!

Regarding finances we've done similar to Heifer. We've topped up to full loan amount and then taken off the amount to cover the shortfall in his accomodation fee in September and January. We'll give him these amounts to pay the fees and then the remainder we've divided by 10 months ( so he'll have money when he's home for Christmas and Easter) He'll have to work in the summer. If this isn't enough then tough! We've got to cover two of them from next year and both on four year courses 😟
So far he's only used his £25 lunch card to buy pot noodles from the Spar. He slept through dinner tonight 😣 Can a Rutlander hammer on his door tomorrow 🤣

@Heifer so £65 including the £25 out as well as it? I was thinking £60-70 a week is reasonable though at the rate she's going, it will be a challenge to get down to that!

For DS1 we did what most of our friends did which was to cover the accommodation and leave him the minimum loan to live on. When he moved out of halls we gave him the same amount as he would have had if he stayed in hall. Luckily for most of you Nottingham accom is cheap after first year, I am afraid Bristol is not!

no Dd has £65 plus the £25 on her lunch card. Basically for 1st 2 terms she has £20 per week left over from her loan minus accommodation so we top up by £45. I also pay for mobile.. last term is different as she has a bigger loan payment so we will pay less. We gave her £200 for welcome week which was 10 days so she should have some of that left although no idea how much as she went clubbing 5 or 6 times I think and has had to use money for lunches as £25 lunch card not enough for 7 days.

We do the same as @Monkey2001. We pay the accommodation and DS needs to live off minimum maintenance loan. He worked in summer so also has some savings from that. Not sure if he's worked out a budget yet.....
I remember back in the day when I was a student (pre loans so it was a grant) I budgeted by taking £5 out of the cash machine each time or £10 if it was a big night out🤣🤣

We do the same as Heifer but DS gets £60 a week. It was £50 until they randomly decided 18 years only need one meal a day on a weekend. 🤔. I send this to DS weekly rather than monthly/ termly so that he can’t spend his whole allowance on a big weekend (it has been known). He seems happy with it so far.

@mummyinbeds I’m concerned about your DS not eating! 😩. Shall I try and send DS over with some food for him? I can’t promise he’ll listen to me but I can try?

@deuxgarcons A million years ago when I was at Uni, I put a limit of £50 a month on my cashpoint withdrawals. 35 years later, that's DD's weekly budget!

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn @Heifer dd is still getting £50 a week. She was angling for more yesterday, but I don't want her to get used to too much - I'm not sure how much more we'll be able to afford next year when she's self-catered, as her loan will be going down. I think she ought to be able to cover snacks, too lunches and going out on £50?! But maybe I'm being unfair. I'm hoping she can get a job at Christmas to top her funds up.

@crazycrofter I think £50 should be enough but DH pointed out that everything is more expensive now (quoted £5 for a pint) not that DD will be ordering a pint vodka/gin more likely. DD is also expected to save some and pay for some clothes/toiletries/makeup as needed although she will probably ask for that for bday and Christmas (both December). I can't see DD working at Christmas as she is going to be shattered, plus looks like exams are in Jan so she will be revising I assume. I don't intend to top any more than the £65 so she will have to manage. but maybe I will have to buy the odd item of clothing as needed.

The good news is that DD really enjoyed her 1st proper full day but is also worried how she will manage as felt shattered last night (7 hrs of lectures). She has another 7 hrs today so will be hanging by tonight. She will have to manage her free time really well and be realistic re sport and social. Being dyslexic does take it toll as not only draining to concentrate during the day, she will have to go back over the work they covered as well as any extra work she needs to do. We were expecting approx 18 hrs contact time plus another 18 hrs own time, but seems most weeks are more contact than expected. Hopefully the practicals won't be so tiring.

How did everyone else find their 1st day of proper lectures? Plus those a week ahead, are they getting used to it?

Morning everyone! Sorry I’ve been so quiet for ages. I’ve been a bit envious hearing of all the drop offs and everyone’s DC settling in.

Dropped DS in Oxford yesterday at his lovely college. @ProggyMat wonder if our DC will meet? I’m not clear how much they do with other colleges but assume they do some stuff together? I actually felt fine dropping him - because his exams finished mid May (IB) he is more than ready to start. His first essay is due Monday - first day of lessons. Guess it is true that they work hard 😱

Morning everyone! Sorry I’ve been so quiet for ages. I’ve been a bit envious hearing of all the drop offs and everyone’s DC settling in.

Dropped DS in Oxford yesterday at his lovely college. @ProggyMat wonder if our DC will meet? I’m not clear how much they do with other colleges but assume they do some stuff together? I actually felt fine dropping him - because his exams finished mid May (IB) he is more than ready to start. His first essay is due Monday - first day of lessons. Guess it is true that they work hard 😱

Sorry for random double post. @Heifer DD is dyslexic so I have every sympathy - it can be exhausting just keeping up.

DS said he thought first lectures geared for foundation or students from abroad. We'll see how long that complacency lasts!

@JustHereWithMyPopcorn that's a really kind offer. I've just woken him up so I'm guessing he's missed breakfast 🤦 He's going to a lecture at 11 (same one as your DS) so he can get something on the way.
Have any other Notts students had a problem getting their student card? DS was told he hadn't uploaded a photo which I know he did as I was sat with him.

@Horace123 They may meet during language classes or if they choose the same lectures?
DD says there are language tests on Friday so the cohort can be grouped into classes.
Failing that they’ll most likely meet socially as DD has a couple of friends in your DS’ college.
She’s spent the last two nights clubbing and is loving it! 🤣

We got our student/university card last week. I know its been really patchy though.

DD collected her student ID on Friday.