Thread 41 Corona Cohort - Autumn Adventures of our Adult Children

[CinnamonOrangeCremeBrulee]

This is a support thread for our young adults post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting, and their results ( or life updates for those who went into work or have had results earlier). It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, uni vs employment please don't within this thread.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue. We were previously on the secondary board and then further education, now we shall be here in 'Parents of Adult Children' gulp

Our DS/DD may continue down various pathways ( employment, apprenticeships, higher ed). Be warned there might be lots of 'Uni Freshers' chat this time of year. My experience is that everyone is welcomed wherever, whatever their child is doing we have some in work, gap years , apprenticeships etc too. Lots of contributors with different experiences and always sympathy and support to be had !

previous thread

DD’s loan came on Wednesday @icanbewhatiwant

Love the art work @PhotoDad !

DS's maintenance payment came through on 28th Sept.

@mummyinbeds I'm sorry your DS is so poorly he can't get his food, is there anyone who can go an get him something? Does he have any containers? I'm sure I read they can take food away if they have a proper container for it.

Hi @JustHereWithMyPopcorn he does have a container but was too shy to ask anyone. He text me at 8am to say he was feeling a bit better so hopefully he went and got breakfast.
I feel that as much as I tried to prepare DS for adulting, I need to sit down and write some checklists (with diagrams) for every possible situation he might face. I'll be a lot more prepared when DD goes next year, although she is also much better at sorting things out for herself.

@mummyinbeds hope the food gets sorted, DH and I were wondering about this last night as DS is in catered halls and what happens if you catch covid or are otherwise too unwell to go there.

@icanbewhatiwant DS got his loan 2 weeks ago but he was one of the earlier starters. Sorry about the elective and module choices not being available, will he get another chance at them in the next semester?

@handmademitlove if you are considering the EHCP do have a look at the websites of the charities SOSSEN and IPSEA, they have lots of detailed information to help you with the process, training webinars etc.

Thank you all for reassuring me over my wobbles yesterday. I think I have drilled down to the root, which was what if DS really did want to study history (you might remember he applied for both history and countryside management courses) and I steered him gently towards CM for very good reasons (no interest in any of the careers history tends to lead you to, masses of reading, low contact hours, masses of essay writing, RAU being by far and away his preferred choice of actual uni). I don’t want him to look back in 10 years and say “I really wanted to do history and mum wouldn’t let me”. But we discussed it all endlessly over many weeks and I hope it was the right decision. It is done now and he seems fine.

Re the adulting checklists, I agree, there is so much. I have sent DS off with this book. It’s American so the healthcare stuff is different but the rest of it is pretty good. He will almost certainly ring me instead of reading it but 🤷‍♀️

@EspeciallyDivided Ds has been there 2 weeks now. Though course only started Monday. Not sure if that makes a difference to when they receive the loan. The electives are over 2or 3 simesters. So no chance to do the others now.

Is your son studying countryside management? I see you said he also applied to do history. Ds2 is history ds1 was biology. Dh being a farmer would have loved one of them to study something to do with countyside/farming. Ds1 would prefer a job with a farming background like soil or crop analysis or agronomy. He enjoys being outside.

You got me thinking what DS would do in this situation, I'm hoping that if this happens he can ask the girl next door that he worked with this summer! Any time I try and tell him about adulting stuff I get the 'yeah, I know mum' comment. 🙄

@EspeciallyDivided it's so hard to find the balance between guidance and letting them decide, but it sounds to me as if you've steered him in the right direction. I did a history degree and it's loads of reading (/developing the ability to skim read and pick out useful quotes). And I didn't really make proper friends on my course as everyone does different combinations of modules so you don't see the same people much. Ds enjoyed history GCSE and got a high 7 but we steered him away from the A Level, having seen with dd how much work it was. He's not mentioned history since! Although yesterday he suddenly told us he might drop Business for Criminology - today is the deadline for switching!

Hi all. Definitely started on the reset. We are eating lots of plant based meals, cleaning the house, and enjoying coupledom. We are going out for lunch today and I put makeup on and everything, probably look a sight, but I’m trying!
we hear very little. I was messaging every day, but didn’t want her to feel an obligation. She sounds happy though.

@icanbewhatiwant I sympathise on the module front, DD had similar at Durham but managed to get it sorted. They approved a change of course (from Anth &Sociology) to Combined Honours so that she could do Human Geography and Anthropoloy - but when she submitted her modules for HG she was told they were all full. She got in touch with the prof heading up the CHSS team and explained, and they spoke to HG on her behalf, and is all now resolved. It must be frustrating for your DS to be put into modules he has no interest in - can he appeal, or is there something he would prefer more that might have space?

@GoldenRuby thanks, the modules he wanted were full. There were only a couple of choices left this simester but next simester the whole lot were showing all full with nothing left at all. Not sure what happened with that. But Ds didn't look at emails before he started. So I guess that is his fault. But now the electives are full too, as he's dropped philosophy he has to do electives instead, so he's behind everyone else in choosing. I'm waiting to hear how he got on...he says he's not doing the psychology elective they've automatically given him, he'd sent an email saying that he'd rather do anything else.

I can remember ds1 couldn't get the modules he wanted either. I don't think he ever got them changed.

Fingers crossed @icanbewhatiwant that he gets something sorted. I know lecturers will have class limits but hard to think that he can't be squeezed into something he wants.

Fingers crossed @icanbewhatiwant . At least it's only first year so he'll just need to pass them presumably. And it might encourage him to act earlier when it comes to second year modules... You never know!

I've just seen DS timetable, he has Friday free until lectures from 4 - 6pm and lectures at 9am Monday mornings so no chance of a long weekend off. Also means travelling at expensive times if wants to come home for the weekend.

@icanbewhatiwant that is unlucky, but as crazy said, it may make him realise that being on top of admin matters!

@Monkey2001 yes hopefully for the modules. He might realise to get things done quicker. But electives he can't help being behind. It would have been easier if they told him what was left rather than him selecting 2 then being told full. So he selected another 2 one of those is full so they put him on the psychology elective. For some reason he doesn't know about the second one he chose, he said it isn't confirmed but not told full either.

Ds has never been in a hurry to do anything. He almost didn't get his summer job because he didn't email saying he wanted the job. Ds1 did the same job 3 years previous for the same boss. It turned out when ds2 started he knew the boss as she was dm to a friend at school. She had sent Ds various email before he started work, she had to prompt him go fill them out several times, she told him he was really bad at replying and that it could be unacceptable in full time employment. Of course Ds just shrugged the comment off. But I'm sure he will learn the hard way.

DD moved in last Saturday and had maintenance loan 2 days ago

Car jenga pretty much done for the morning. Hope cambridge weather better than North Yorkshire! Awful day here. DS desperate to be off. Been a looong summer break Great artwork @PhotoDad !

I am nearish Cambridge . It's wet and bloody cold. Sorry....

It's dry in Suffolk. But I can tell it's about to rain.

Thanks @Piggywaspushed - I feared it might be! Absolute shocker of a day up here.

I have caved and put the heating on since I came home from work shivering...