Would you insist on your adult children who live with you to contribute to the household expenses?
I haven't broached the subject yet but two of my three kids are earning. DD1 who's 23, works in a good city firm and a part time retail job so she does the odd shopping now and again and will always ask me if I need anything if she's on her way home from work. She has ADHD.
DS1 works only part time but has never asked or contributed to anything into the home. He will never replace something that he uses most of and will wait until I stock up. He will expect me to give him some cash if I need some milk or bread, he wouldn't offer. In short, they don't bring much into the house but they don't save money either, using utilities unnecessarily and wasting resources. They are eating me out of the house and don't think twice or offer to replace finished items. He has ADHD.
DD2 who's 22, is at uni and spends her student finance allowance money like water and shops online for ridiculously expensive face care products. She's not working and will be under my feet until September with no intention of finding a job. She says she has social anxiety trembles at the thought of going out to find work. She's driving me insane with her lazy attitude. She will stock up on junk food and stash it in her room so she doesn't need to come downstairs. Pissing me off.
Their rooms are a pigsty (another story ) and I jus feel so overwhelmed with managing everything on my own as I'm a single mum. I don't earn much and everything I do earn goes straight onto the bills and I never actually 'see' my money until it's all gone and I end up living off my overdraft. It's the same old story every month.
I don't want my kids to feel like they're living in a bed and breakfast but I also feel like they should help me out financially, I had two jobs by the time I was 18 and haven't stopped working since I turned 17. I have a strong work ethic and I hoped they would too.
DD3 is only 13 and I'm concerned that she's going to fall into this trap of not having the need to work because mummy does everything.
Am I expecting too much? Is it wrong to expect them to take life seriously and contribute? I'm so close to asking the unemployed one to either find a job or go and live with her dad so she'll know which side the grass is greener on. Here she has everything at her disposal.
I've never had disposable cash as everything goes onto bills directly from my direct debits. I can't even afford to give them cash on their birthdays and last week, they told me he gave them £40 each from their dad who never paid maintenance until I took him to court. He has no child rearing expenses, no rent to pay (sheltered housing) no clothes or food to buy for the kids so he gets off easily and can afford to do that. That makes me feel very inadequate as a mum who's struggling. I've never even been abroad for a holiday let alone somewhere local. Just feel like running away sometimes and not be a mum for a few days.
I'm 54 next week and I just feel sooo depressed with no money and a huge burden on me.
Keyboard warriors, please refrain from bashing me with negative comments. Thank you.