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Parents of adult children

Wondering how to stop worrying about your grown child? Speak to others in our Parents of Adult Children forum.

Original poster

Do you miss your children being little?

97 replies

Sarahjane789 · 12/02/2021 14:29

Do you think about your adult children now and really wish you could turn back time to when they were small and cute? Or are you happy that that part of your life is over?

OP posts:
WouldstrokeTomHardy · 12/02/2021 14:36

God yes. Can't elaborate as I will be blubbering all day but yes. My heart broke when my then 18 now 19 year old left home. BUT I am in awe of her ability to cope in a new city on her own, working hard and paying her own rent. In fact I'm astounded, she didn't even keep her room tidy at home. But I am very happy she is able to cope independently. Ok, I elaborated and now I'm blubbering. Yes I wish my children were still little but I enjoy the banter now they are older, the friendship.

MissyB1 · 12/02/2021 14:38

Yes times a million!! I can’t even look at the photos or videos because I cry. I would give anything to do it all again.

MaureenMLove · 12/02/2021 14:44

Nah, I enjoyed that time, but I wouldn't want to go back.

My only child is 25 and she is an absolute joy to be with. She's funny, smart and a force to be reckoned with at times. I did that. Grin

I spend lots of time with her or on FaceTime and I am still a big part of her life. Her Mother's Day card to me read, 'thank you for not sticking you nose in to my life, but also thank you for listening to all my shit!' Grin. I thought that summed it up nicely.

Now she's just started a new chapter, living with her boyfriend and a tiny part of me that has been resisting the thought of being a granny for so long, wouldn't mind one bit. I'll get to do all the lovely things I remember from her childhood, only I can hand them back when I've had enough! Smile

WomanInYellow · 12/02/2021 14:45

Same here. My oldest is 24 and my twins turned 19 this week. I found it so hard when the twins were little as DH worked long hours and I had no one to help out. When I look at pictures at how absolutely gorgeous they were, I want to cry. I really didn’t enjoy that time and I wish I could go back knowing what I know now!

JustanotherTuesday · 12/02/2021 14:53

Yes, I would love to do it all over again. If I look at photos of them it makes me feel like crying. When I look back those years seemed to go by so quickly.

justanotherneighinparadise · 12/02/2021 14:54

Nope. I LOVE my kids growing up. I’ll accept I’m in the minority but they were absolute horrors.

Ginfordinner · 12/02/2021 14:56

No. Well maybe, if I could miss out the years when DD was being bullied at school, and then was under a lot of stress from exams.

On balance, no.

JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority · 12/02/2021 15:00

So so much, yes. But I’m also really enjoying they ages they are now, (teen+ pre teen). We can have family movie nights, great conversations, they have a sense of humour, can entertain themselves so I can have a lie in, (they also lie in! Grin) I can feel my freedom re-emerging.

But I do really miss having little cutie cuddle buddies who hang off my every word Grin

JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority · 12/02/2021 15:02

Sorry I’ve just seen this is in adult children board and mine aren’t adults yet! Grin

KateF · 12/02/2021 15:03

Yes, very much. I'm definitely a little children person and although I'm proud of them growing up and making their own way in life I do miss the cuddles and a little hand in mine.

Janaih · 12/02/2021 15:10

Hell no. I also have a small child though which may influence my thinking!

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 12/02/2021 15:11

God yes. I was so happy back then, even though it was really hard work.

I'm not sure I'd choose to permanently go back to the past but I'd love to visit it now and again.

Yogatomorrow · 12/02/2021 15:14

I wish i could live my life an loop from late pregnancy to dd being 6...

ButterfliesandMoths · 12/02/2021 15:26

I'd love to go back and do it all again. I love being a mum and although still a mum my children are all grown up and have flown the nest.

LimitIsUp · 12/02/2021 16:03

Definitely, definitely not. I found the demands of small children quite taxing - forever having to take them to parks / soft play / days out and entertain them. Having to worry about limiting their screen time and tv viewing and monitoring their five a day. Perhaps I did it wrong - probably!

I enjoy it now when, for example, my teenagers complain that they are hungry as I can reply with 'you know where the kitchen is'

However, both dc were happy as little kids whereas these days I have one teenager with severe anxiety which seemed to kick in around puberty and is still proving tricky to manage (she is 18 now). I do look back to when she was an uncomplicated and joyful little girl

BackforGood · 27/02/2021 22:03

Gosh, no.
I love the young adults they have become.
I also love the freedom of being able to leave the house without having to make arrangements.
I love the freedom of only having to remember and organise my own life.
I love being able to lie in, or to not have an evening meal if I've had a big lunch or to go and stay with a friend for a day or two without having to make all the arrangements.
I love seeing my dc achieve things and get on in life.
I love laughing with them and just chatting about nothing.
No way would I want to go back to the baby years.

Snowymcsnowsony · 27/02/2021 22:06

I had dc in my teens, 20's, 30's and 40's!! So currently dealing with dc in primary school, secondary, college, and ones in their 20's and 30's. Mind boggling tbh!!

louisejxxx · 27/02/2021 22:08

Yes I do, particularly at the moment - it’s started hitting me that they’ve essentially “lost a year” this last year with everything.

0blio · 27/02/2021 22:10

Oh yes, it upsets me to look through old photos but if I didn't have them I wouldn't remember so many things, time really does pass so very quickly and memories fade.

I'd love to go back and do it all again - and better, with the benefit of experience. It was truly the happiest time of my life.

GettingUntrapped · 27/02/2021 22:11

I wouldn't like to go back up the baby years. It's very very hard with regards to how much you give up of yourself. By the time you start to gain it back, you might be 'instationalised'.

TokyoSushi · 27/02/2021 22:15

Mine are only 7 & 9 so a long way to go, but I absolutely love this age, they're such good company. I absolutely couldn't bear to go back to the baby/toddler phase which was largely a nightmare!

I function so much better as a mother when I can sleep and have a little bit of peace throughout the day!

RandomMess · 27/02/2021 22:17

Miss it dreadfully 😢

CheeseAndHackers · 27/02/2021 22:17

Good God no.

BaaHumbugg · 27/02/2021 22:19

It's a catch 22 as mine is still young and I know this is the best age and I should appreciate it yet I crave time alone so much! I do think I've embraced everything as much as a possibly can though so I'll have no regrets on that front. I look forward to having a tidy house when she's older though!

SionnachGlic · 27/02/2021 22:22

I wouldn't want to go back...but I do miss those little hugs & kisses sometimes, the way they just adore you....