Page 4 | Do you miss your children being little?

Sarahjane789 · 2021-02-12T14:29:00+00:00

Do you think about your adult children now and really wish you could turn back time to when they were small and cute? Or are you happy that that part of your life is over?

Wagsandclaws · 11/01/2022 19:05

So, I have a 29, 26 and 24 yo and I was v unhappily married. I did love them being small though and they were my absolute world. One was a very tricky teen ( and went to live with her dad at 16 as she preferred to be able to do what she wanted and he let her ).

I look back on the photos and they were gorgeous and wonderful and terrible all at once 🤣😬

My tricky teen has grown up to be an amazing person as have her siblings.

I'm now 50 at the end of this month with a just turned 13 yo and a 9 yo, I am now happily married with a supportive Dh and tbh it's made all the difference.

Even at this age I feel like I wish I'd had 'one more' they really have been such a delight and gosh I will miss them when they too leave like their elder siblings. I adore the cuddles.

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 14:30

MissyB1 · 12/02/2021 14:38

Yes times a million!! I can’t even look at the photos or videos because I cry. I would give anything to do it all again.

This is fascinating!! Did you have them younger — is that why?

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 14:31

JustanotherTuesday · 12/02/2021 14:53

Yes, I would love to do it all over again. If I look at photos of them it makes me feel like crying. When I look back those years seemed to go by so quickly.

Did you have your children young? X

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 14:32

Yogatomorrow · 12/02/2021 15:14

I wish i could live my life an loop from late pregnancy to dd being 6...

This is interesting… did you have her young? Do you get the urge to have another one? X

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 27/04/2024 14:37

Yes I miss them being little and there are things I wish I could change. I’m incredibly proud of the gentlemen they are and I adore my dils and grandchildren.

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 14:43

Chickydoo · 27/02/2021 22:30

I love them as adults, really miss the little years though. They were exhausting but such fun. Actually my whole life was wonderful back then. Things change.

What’s changed? Did you have them young?

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 14:50

WillowintheUK · 27/02/2021 22:38

I’m incredibly proud of the adults my children have become, I adore my grandchildren, but I just loved the time when I was bringing them up and life was just so busy and happy. I’d go back in a heartbeat.

That’s so lovely. Did you have them young ?

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 15:01

Dumbledoresgirl · 23/12/2021 10:32

Occasionally, yes. Obviously photos and such things as seeing small children doing a nativity can make me wistful but I had 4 under 7 years old at one point and my dh was often away and it was hard work! I do wish my adult children were a little more fun and wanted to join in more, as they did when they were children, but I wouldn't particularly want to go through that stage of parenthood again.

Wow! That’s phenomenal!! Did you have them young?

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 15:04

A580Hojas · 11/01/2022 18:04

Every now and then, for a few moments. What I'd like is the impossible - to go back and see what they were like at 2, 4, 8, 12 - whatever. You forget, no matter how much you think you won't.

But generally speaking I am content with the freedoms I take for granted now that I have older children. I was just thinking the other day when I went to Zumba that there was a time when I would have had to negotiate this one hour a week with DH or find childcare to do it. That seems like a massive ball-ache now!

Did you have yours young?

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 15:06

3WildOnes · 23/12/2021 10:43

Mine are still young, my youngest is 2. I know that I am going to miss this stage in my life so much. My children bring me so much joy. I just love our days together. The snuggles and giggles. Watching them play and laugh together. I feel sad that I probably won’t ever have another baby. I hope my life won’t feel empty when they grow up and leave home.

This is so lovely.. did you have them young ?

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 15:07

Shav73 · 11/01/2022 17:58

It never goes away entirely I've learnt. As much as empty nest hit me hard last year, they're still your babies, just bigger lol. I had a lovely moment last week which took me back years..., just before dropping ds back to university, he cuddled up next to me and then fell asleep with his head on my lap. I couldn't move, this tall strapping, bearded young man, softly snoring away on top of me. I felt so emosh and full of love and gratitude for this boy, who is still my baby, still the same boy he always was. Despite their adult size, I'm lucky they all still love a cuddle, it just happens alot less due to logistics and distance.

Aww this is beautiful. Did you have them young ?

JustanotherTuesday · 27/04/2024 15:39

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 14:31

Did you have your children young? X

Show quote history

Yes, I was early to mid twenties.

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 16:03

JustanotherTuesday · 27/04/2024 15:39

Yes, I was early to mid twenties.

Show quote history

Perhaps this part of it as well.. being so young and youthful x

MissyB1 · 27/04/2024 19:11

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 14:30

This is fascinating!! Did you have them younger — is that why?

Edited

Show quote history

Well had my first 2 in my 20s, had the 3rd one at 41! I just love the baby/toddler/young child stages, they bring such joy. It’s painful knowing I won’t do it again.

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 19:33

MissyB1 · 27/04/2024 19:11

Well had my first 2 in my 20s, had the 3rd one at 41! I just love the baby/toddler/young child stages, they bring such joy. It’s painful knowing I won’t do it again.

Show quote history

Awww so a big age gap then… how did you find that?

I had my first at 25 and currently pregnant with my second at 35

MissyB1 · 27/04/2024 21:55

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 19:33

Awww so a big age gap then… how did you find that?

I had my first at 25 and currently pregnant with my second at 35

Show quote history

It’s lovely to do it all over again when you are older and wiser! And my older two adore their much younger brother, they are 34, 29, and 15 now. The teen really benefits from having adult siblings, they are great with him.

Madickenxx · 29/04/2024 09:25

I wouldn't want to go back but I was definitely more relaxed back then when I knew they were safe in their beds every evening. I have no concerns about DS21 as he's a homebody and has a good job but DD20 jumps from drama to drama. A lot of it is self induced as she doesn't deal with things and just hopes it will sort itself out so small things turn into big ones and I worry constantly. She's an amazing person and we are very close which I love but it does also mean I have front row seats to everything that goes on in her life. I spent my work commute this morning googling how to not take on the stress of your children. If anyone knows a trick, I'm all ears!

Kiki1703 · 29/04/2024 09:44

Madickenxx · 29/04/2024 09:25

I wouldn't want to go back but I was definitely more relaxed back then when I knew they were safe in their beds every evening. I have no concerns about DS21 as he's a homebody and has a good job but DD20 jumps from drama to drama. A lot of it is self induced as she doesn't deal with things and just hopes it will sort itself out so small things turn into big ones and I worry constantly. She's an amazing person and we are very close which I love but it does also mean I have front row seats to everything that goes on in her life. I spent my work commute this morning googling how to not take on the stress of your children. If anyone knows a trick, I'm all ears!

oh gosh… my daughter is only ten so I have all this to come! Plus about to have a newborn!

I found this acceptance video very helpful for letting go of control and worrying…

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aChJ3Nv3sbI&pp=ygUUdGVhbCBzd2FuIGFjY2VwdGFuY2U%3D

Accept It - The Key to Letting Go - Teal Swan -

The key to letting to is acceptance. Once we accept a situation or emotion for what they are you can enter the space of moving on. So often we don't accept...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aChJ3Nv3sbI&pp=ygUUdGVhbCBzd2FuIGFjY2VwdGFuY2U%3D

WillowintheUK · 29/04/2024 10:34

Kiki1703 · 27/04/2024 14:50

That’s so lovely. Did you have them young ?

Show quote history

Not especially - first at 25, 4th at 38. Youngest was 13 when I became a grandmother.

SplendidRhododendronsDeirdre · 06/05/2024 08:44

Definitely not. I’m a “teen/YP” parent. In other words, I identify and parent a lot more effectively and comfortably with that age. I was play acting the whole time from 0-12! None of it came naturally and I found it really, really hard. I did a decent job though as they are fabulous 😎

I absolutely love it since they’ve been about 14. But go back? No way!

Sniffywhippymum · 17/07/2024 10:49

I would love to. I have two girls aged 24 and 18 and both of them have been an absolute joy to raise. I adored them as small children and have absolutely loved and enjoyed every stage of their lives from babies, toddlers, school age, teens and now to adulthood. My eldest daughter moved to Ireland to live with her boyfriend and has made herself a wonderful life and has a successful career there. She is so happy and I feel so proud. My youngest daughter is on the cusp of leaving to go to Uni and its now I find I am looking back over all those years of raising them and it reminds me how much I have loved (and still love obviously) being a Mother. I have found myself yearning for those cuddles in bed, and watching cartoons with them on a lazy Saturday morning, the Birthdays, the holidays, the Christmas's and the Sports Days, I loved it all. I guess I am feeling like this because I am about to become an empty nester!! I also lost my Mum a couple of years ago so when I think back to those days she featured heavily in our lives at that point as we spent a lot of time with 'Nanny'

My children are, and always will be, my World and my priority but although I miss those younger days and sometimes yearn for them, I also feel excited for what is to come in this new chapter. My relationships with my girls have changed as they have got older and I now love the adults they have become and we are best friends. We are more like equals and we have fun, we banter, we debate, and I absolutely love their sense of humor and adore the times that I spend with them. xx

BigFatLiar · 17/07/2024 12:36

Sniffywhippymum · 17/07/2024 10:49

I would love to. I have two girls aged 24 and 18 and both of them have been an absolute joy to raise. I adored them as small children and have absolutely loved and enjoyed every stage of their lives from babies, toddlers, school age, teens and now to adulthood. My eldest daughter moved to Ireland to live with her boyfriend and has made herself a wonderful life and has a successful career there. She is so happy and I feel so proud. My youngest daughter is on the cusp of leaving to go to Uni and its now I find I am looking back over all those years of raising them and it reminds me how much I have loved (and still love obviously) being a Mother. I have found myself yearning for those cuddles in bed, and watching cartoons with them on a lazy Saturday morning, the Birthdays, the holidays, the Christmas's and the Sports Days, I loved it all. I guess I am feeling like this because I am about to become an empty nester!! I also lost my Mum a couple of years ago so when I think back to those days she featured heavily in our lives at that point as we spent a lot of time with 'Nanny'

My children are, and always will be, my World and my priority but although I miss those younger days and sometimes yearn for them, I also feel excited for what is to come in this new chapter. My relationships with my girls have changed as they have got older and I now love the adults they have become and we are best friends. We are more like equals and we have fun, we banter, we debate, and I absolutely love their sense of humor and adore the times that I spend with them. xx

Know how you feel. Miss those years but now we get visits from the grandchildren and get to do the good bits again. The tantrums and mess their parents can deal with.