Toddler helping himself to breakfast

[archieballerina]

OK I'm probably going to get a roasting for this. My 2.9 son has recently started slinking out of bed, downstairs and by the time I wake up is in front of the telly having got himself a cup of water (chair pulled up to sink) and helped himself to yoghurt and fruit. He is doing it very stealthily as our room is next to his and I've left our door open to hear him but he sometimes managed to get past my radar. I am tempted to leave his cereal out and let him have a full breakfast. When do you let them do this? He's very careful, very rarely spills anything, completely capable of getting milk, pouring it out and putting it back again and shutting door (miles better than DH in fact.)

dd1 (3.10) makes her own breakfast - she can't get downstairs to do it without me as we have a stairgate for dd2 but would if she could.

When dd2 (16 months) is hungry she has taken to trying to help gerself to (dry) cereal from the cupboard - obviously her more subtle hints weren't working

Re washing I am not allowed to hang out or bring in any of dd1's clothes. She has a low washing line on the veranda & hangs it all out beautifully (I am particular & don't like things folded over the line as they don't dry as quickly - dd meets my standards where dh can't) Just need to work on her putting it away now. If you have the space I recommend it.

Loving all these tiny grown-ups, hanging out the washing and making the meals! We get so used to doing everything for our dcs, forgetting they are often far more capable than we give them credit for (and more capable than our dhs so it seems....).

MY boys do this too! I set up their cereal bowl a yoghurt and piece of fruit with a small jug of milk. They get up and go downstairs for breakfast while I feed the newborn. I would hear if anything happened as I am awake. DC1 also pegs out the socks and undies for me when I do the washing! (they are 4 and 3 btw)

You think chairs are bad? Dd2 can reach the bottom shelf of the fridge. I noticed this after yoghurts started going missing. I then moved everything yummy to higher shelves and kept only butter/marg etc on the bottom shelf.

Things still kept going missing. Whilst in the bathroom one day I found out why. Dd2 got all of the butter and margarine tubs of the bottom shelf, piled them on top of each other in two little stacks and then stood on them to reach the higher shelf. I couldn't decide whether to be annoyed or proud

Dd1 has been getting her own brekkie since she was about 3 and half. She now sorts dd2's out too. They are both up, dressed, fed and have clean faces and brushed teeth before I emerge. Dd1 is 6 and dd2 is 3.

I have put measuring cups in my cereal boxes so that they don't pour it all over the floor or get too much generally. And a milk jug for the same reason. Well, also so that they will talk about having a milk jug and everyone will know that we are posh.

My dd (almost 4) sets the table in the morning and puts out her weetabix, my muesli, pours milk onto hers and in her cup, helps herself to fruit and puts her pots in the sink when finished.

I skulk about loading the washer/pegging out/tripping over the dog and spooning soggy muesli into my mouth as I go.

She's superb in the mornings but sadly I am not.

Any independance in children is fabulous, you know your child and their capabilities. Mine would never play with electrical stuff, isn't a climber and all chemicals/cleaning is out of reach.

She does tend to spill water/milk/yoghurt but so does dh and he's in his thirties and not grown out of it

Oh, this is great. My 19 month old helps me load and unload the dishwasher, mostly self-feeds, helps with hanging out washing, helps bring in firewood, helps feed the cats, anything she can do she will. But none of it on her own, it's all about Helping Mummy, sadly.

I'm very cheered to hear that this can continue. I have been worried that by the time she's dextrous enough to be properly useful she'll have lost interest. All your children sound lovely.

My ds (nearly 3) helps me loads in the kitchen, cooking, putting plates away, loading the washing machine, putting things in the fridge etc, standing on chairs when I am there to supervise.

BUT there is no way a 2 yr old should be allowed to stand on chairs and prepare their own breakfast without you being there imo.

It is dangerous. How do you know he isn't going to just flick a switch on the hob and set fire to something? or fall of a chair and really hurt himself? He is a toddler and whilst independance should be encouraged I really think that kitchens are just too dangerous.

I wouldn't want my ds downstairs without me. He is sensible and knows not to play with the cooker etc but at the end of the day he is still a 2 yr old and acts on impulse like all toddlers.

It's up to you of course and it seems I am in the minority with this view point but no way I'd let my ds go and put the TV on first thing in the morning and eat breakfast on his own! Breakfast for us is lovely family time while ds helps us cook or gets cereal, sits and chats with us at the table. The thought of him doing it on his own makes me quite sad.

My DS used to make his own breakfast when he was 2, he even bought up a glass of milk for DH in bed. But then he was pulling boxes behind him to get to the kitchen counter before he was 1.
He was always very mature and sensible for his age (14 now and still mature ) and never did anything silly.

Meandj I'm not lounging in bed leaving him to fend for himself. He's waking up early and deciding he'll start his day. He's pretty determined and likes to do things himself he will cry if you do something he wanted to do himself. Judging by the majority of posts there are plently of children doing similar things I'm planning to let him carry on making sure he is very clear on boundaries and our kitchen is as safe as I can make it.

I'm in bed leaving them to fend for themselves. There is absolutely no way I am setting my alarm for 5am Sunday morning

Dd1 has this awful habit whereby she will not get out of bed on school mornings, but come sunrise on weekends she is up and ready to go.

I know nothing of it most of the time, until about 8am when dd2 decides she has had enough and is going back to bed. Occasionally, when dd2 has gotten into our bed during the night, we are woken at an ungodly hour by dd1 sneaking in and whispering "dd2, do you want some breakfast? Are you awake? dd2? Are you awake? Oh good, you're awake. Do you want breakfast? I am going to have strawberries with mammy's special yoghurt and then watch Dr. Who. Mammy will have put it on iplayer last night" Poor dd2 doesn't have a clue what is going on, she is not a morning person.

What an excellent boy.

DS1 has been doing this for years as well. We keep a bottom drawer in the fridge that is all good stuff for him to help himself to and now at 6yo we also leave the cereal within his reach so he can grab that if he prefers. He oftens pours me a glass of juice.

Just make sure the knives are out of sight/reach and the kettle as well and reiterate what he must not touch, i.e. the stove etc.

gosh

ds is 11

i don't trust him to pour a bowl of cereal without making a mess/taking far too much/other catastrophe

i have obv seriously gone wrong somewhere

DS1's first real sentence was "NO Mummy! I will do it with myself".

DS at 2yo used to come back upstairs with fruit, a bowl... and a sharp knife. We moved the knives REAL high after that.

I am a bit jealous I will admit! I would love to have a couple more minutes in bed rather than "breakfast now!" and I have to say that I think my dd might be quite good at it - now just where to start on training?

I've been thinking about this thread today (strange person that I am) and I am still surprised that so many of you think it is a good thing for a toddler to be in the kitchen unsupervised or turning on the television in the mornings, unsupervised.

My dds were at least ten before they would have dreamed of turning on the television without asking - TV is for planned viewing, not for children to get into the pattern of just vegging to, so we never allowed them to just turn it on and watch any random crap they could find.

And the kitchen thing too. Again, my children would have never have gone downstairs alone because we expected them to come into our room, say good morning etc etc. Also, they would never have just helped themselves to food. Even now, they ask if it's okay to eat such and such a thing. Not because we are control freaks but because it is polite to check that things aren't required for later etc.

We haven't helicoptered them and they are extremely capable, independent young women now but our way is clearly v different to the way that most people on here think is okay.

Oh well - I never have been one to follow the crowd, so will just have to look at it that way, as me being differently wired or something!

It is interesting to read about the level of responsibility given to toddlers on this thread. But I am with janeite on this one. I have a 2.5 year old toddler, and it is completely out of the question for him to be unsupervised in the kitchen, or just have the run of the downstairs. Toddler alone in the kitchen - water, electricity, heat - the scope for disaster is considerable.

I have an open plan layout with many hard surfaces such as glass, granite and an incredibly inquistive toddler. He does not have the level of maturity to understand the dangers in a kitchen (I don't expect him to either at this age). I can not rely on him listening to me. Everything is very exciting and must be tried out. He would probably end up in A&E, and I would expect my judgement to leave him unsupervised in the kitchen to be questioned.

Anyway it would never happen - the downstairs is alarmed and he can not climb out of his cot bed.

We had a very open-plan house, so barricading the kitchen wasn't an option (had to go through it to get to the loo, for example). Of course dangerous stuff was locked away or out of reach.

BUT the key here is you have to know your own children. My dcs have always been very sensible - they were not children who were "into everything" (for example, we never moved ornaments or CDs to a higher level on shelves because they were never touched; they walked calmly beside me and never ran off when we were out). I'm not claiming they were perfect, just not particularly "fiddly-fingered"; I didn't have any concerns that they were going to stick their fingers in the toaster or climb out of the window.

janeite - I do agree to some extent what you say about food; my dcs (now 10, 9 and 6) are not allowed to just "graze" from the frige as they see fit, and must ask first, but for a specific meal (i.e. breakfast, cereal and toast) they are encouraged to prepare it for themselves. They don't need me to do it for them, and haven't done for some time.

thats fantastic but:
i wouldnt unplug tv- if that keep him occupied until you get up he wont get up to other mischief just tur it to cbbebies whe you turn it off @ night

make sure your front door is locked when you go to bed!

personally i would be worried about choking on cereal but thats me

It definately depends on the child. I have a couple of friends whose children are magnets for catastrophe. If my ds was like that I'd probably alarm his door He didn't get past me this morning and I ended up waking the lazy sleepy mite.

My children were very sensible too and probably would have been fine. For me as a parent, however, it was not acceptable. Just because a child CAN do something doesn't mean it's always okay TO do it!

I'm very jealous OP. My six year old DS1 will not come down for breakfast by himself. He doesn't even like milk, so it's just pouring some cereal into a bowl, and getting a glass of water from a tap he can reach. But no "Who will make my toast"?

When my DS2 was little, we turned off all the electrical things at the wall - toaster, kettle, microwave, oven. We only turned them on when we used them. I was convinced he'd pop down to make some toast when we were asleep and set fire to the kitchen.

janeite and arabica I can see where you are coming from and the reason I posted originally is my ds has started to do this and I wanted to see how others felt about it. He only helps himself to fruit and yoghurt. If I was there and said no he would put it back. Otherwise he will ask for things and accept if told no for various reasons. He literally sneaks out I guess because he enjoys the independence. It isn't every day sometimes he comes into our room. The only way to stop him is to tell him no or restrict his access with an alarmed gate (we have no doors downstairs) I actually feel a bit sad to stop him doing something that he enjoys enough to get up so quietly normally he does a running commentary.

Sounds great, just make sure he's safe. My DS who is a similar age to yours, pulled his chair up to counter, switched the kettle on and I found him filling a cup from it .

If Ds wasn't so kamize on the stairs i'd let him too.