Toddler helping himself to breakfast

[archieballerina]

OK I'm probably going to get a roasting for this. My 2.9 son has recently started slinking out of bed, downstairs and by the time I wake up is in front of the telly having got himself a cup of water (chair pulled up to sink) and helped himself to yoghurt and fruit. He is doing it very stealthily as our room is next to his and I've left our door open to hear him but he sometimes managed to get past my radar. I am tempted to leave his cereal out and let him have a full breakfast. When do you let them do this? He's very careful, very rarely spills anything, completely capable of getting milk, pouring it out and putting it back again and shutting door (miles better than DH in fact.)

our washing machine is also an out of bounds area mainly due to the fact he would put it on just because his favourite t-shirt is dirty. Haven't tried giving him pegs.

Ds started doing that at a similar age. He was (and still is at 6) very sensible and I had absolutely no concerns as I knew he would always check with me on what he can and can't do.

My DD (age 4) is allowed to help herself to fruit and yoghurt in the morning, which I leave on the bottom shelf of the fridge. However, a few days ago she decided to be really ambitious, I woke up to find her sat at the table eating a tuna sandwich! She did a great job of it, and didn't make much mess, but I did tell her not to do it again but to wake me up if she really wanted a sandwich!

Why would you worry about him putting the tv on himself? I am very strict about TV, but early in the morning is when I want DS to go and turn it on himself and just sit still for a while so I can get up and dressed myself without him under my feet. I've been trying to teach him for months....

I would be very careful about making the kitchen a safe a place to be if he is in there unsupervised. I would turn all electricals off, put child locks on drawers with knives in etc.

All our medical and cleaning stuff(chemicals, bleach) is in a locked cupboard.

As long as it's safe, then I say, do what you can to encourage his independance, as long as he knows he can always ask for help if he needs it, it is so good for his self confidence and self esteem.

I have known friends who have had the sort of parents who do everything for them, but they have no confidence now to attempt to do things for themselves. They are also the sort of people who have little motivation and as adults don't know how to cook or use a washing machine, and that's just a bit sad really.

Tuna was in fridge in tupperware pot by the way, she hasn't mastered the tin opener yet

My ds was like that but it doesnt last long...... he's 19 now and such a lazy lad gets me to make sandwich etc for his lunch enjoy it while u can so long as its safe it ok

Loving the sandwich. DS will fetch jam, knife and butter but hasn't graduated to sandwiches.It looks like there are a fair few determinedindependent children out there.

Perhaps the layout of your house would be a factor in deciding if this is OK?

In my house the stairs are at the front and the kitchen is at the back. If the DCs managed to get downstairs without waking me, there is almost no way I would hear any crying or calls for help from the kitchen. So if there was an accident it could be quite a while before help arrived.

My 3.7yo DS isn't even allowed in the kitchen unsupervised (stairgate) .

He can run the dyson round and load the tumble dryer though.

be grateful he only gets fruit and a yoghurt. my ds1 started doing this round about the same age and he helped himself to biscuits and crisps!!

i have to be honest though i dont like him doing it everyday, sunday yes because i like to lie on a bit later but i like to be up and have breakfast with him rather than him watching tv by himself.

We would hear screaming! The kitchen is 2 storeys down which is how he manages to get the TV on and breakfast. He doesn't always get past me as I'm a light sleeper but have a newborn and a snoring DH so sometimes I don't hear him. I'm guessing he would master a stairgate pretty quickly meddling fiddling is a natural talent. I bought socket covers for every socket and he crawled after me pulling them out. Which is why we have concentrated on telling him the important things he doesn't touch.

I would be delighted if my DS did this. He can't reach the fridge though nor his bowl, nor do I trust him not to pour himself half a packet of cocopops into it

But would you hear the thud of a child falling off a chair and cracking their head on a work surface?

but what about choking?
i worry about leaving my 3yo alone with food.

Definitely encourage this independence - he sounds such a grown-up little boy!

Ds1 was trained from a young age to help himself to milk from the fridge in the morning as he was such an early riser. We put cereal and bowls etc in a special low cupboard for him, and he was strictly instructed not to go near kettle/toaster etc.

Ironically, 10 years on he is just like soremummy's ds - unable to shift his backside off the sofa in the mornings, so I'm running around making his breakfast for him! But he makes a mean cup of tea when he can be bothered.

Choking? A 3 YO? They are no more likely to choke than you or I

Piprabbit you probably don't want to know we have tile floors downstairs then? I know there are accidents waiting to happen everywhere. He is aware of the really dangerous stuff; cars, roads, knives, ovens, electric sockets. Anyone of us could slip and hit our head at any time. I would prefer he didn't go downstairs by himself but I don't think a stairgate will hold him for long.

I think your DS sounds a wonderfully sensible, independent and clever little boy. You have every reason to feel extremely proud of him, and of yourself for raising such a gorgeous little chap.

There are always concerns about letting a child have certain freedoms, especially in a kitchen. However, you know your child and I think he has already shown that he is actually fairly determined to be 'in charge' of his breakfast. I personally think it would be a shame to put a dampener on this - it shows great ingenuity.

My advice would be to just continue to be very supportive of his efforts and to make sure that certain kitchen articles were out of reach - otherwise the idea of his own cupboard, complete with cereal etc sound brilliant.

I am quite . My DS (10) is keen ... but .... dear god, the mess!!!!!

I'm usually very laid back about giving my DCs some independence...but something about this thread has obviously hit a nerve .

Perhaps I've just watched too many episodes of Casualty... (spotting the near fatal situation and watching from behind my hands until the worst happens and they get trawled off to Holby to be fixed up).

pregnantp I also have a newborn so there are lots of periods when ds isn't closely supervised I am relying on him being aware of dangers but short of locking me in one room with me it isn't going to happen.

sorry locking us all

ds didn't manage to get his own breakfast till he was about 11

This is also the child that piled up bags of nappies so he could climb over stair gate at his bedroom door and then casually open the one on the top of stairs! Btw he just came in from part time job and asked me what can i have to eat?? They grow up but they dont iykwim