Who hasn't spent a night apart from their child/ren?

[PiccadillyCircus]

DS is nearly 21 months and I haven't yet spent the nigth away from him. As his brother or sister is due in the next month, I don't think this will be the case for long.

DH and I have kept meaning to get around to spending a night together somewhere without DS, but somehow it hasn't happened and I don't think it will now for quite a while.

I think I'm feeling a bit guilty about how DS will be when I'm not there to be honest - hopefully he will be fine and so will I.

[beckym]

Ds is 7 weeks old and has stayed at dp's parents twice so far to give us a bit of a rest. We are going away for the night in October when he will stay at my parents. And personally, i don't feel bad about it. I think its good to have some time away.I think we were more use to him after having a bloody good nights sleep. Plus we missed him loads so it made us appreciate him that bit more. I know some people won't agree, but dp and myself are only 24, and enjoy just going for a meal or to the pub with some friends. We just have to remind ourselves that we are still people and not just parents

[janinlondon]

DD is nearly 6 - never spent a night away from her. No one to leave her with. Do you KNOW what an overnight nanny would cost????? She has a tendency to get up through the night and wander around the house. Even when we are staying somewhere else we have to double lock the doors to be sure she doesn't get out! would be interested to know if anyone else has this problem, or do all your kids just sleep safely in their beds all night and never try to escape?

[compo]

My first night away with the girls was when ds was 8 months old. Since then I've had a couple of weekends away - hen nights, that sort of thing. However I've got a big mental block about leaving him with anyone other than dh. I know he'd be fine with my parents if me and dh wanted a night on our own but I just don't want to. Does that make me wierd?!!

[beckym]

No compo, it doesn't make you weird. Each to their own and all that. You have to do what you feel best!

[elliott]

Ds's are 3.9 and 21 months and so far dh and I have had a total of 3 separate nights away from them. Its lack of opportunity in our case TC, not guilt! You say you'd go mad without nights away - but you wouldn't, you'd just put up with it like we have to! Plus I have to say that the nights we have had to ourselves haven't actually been that great - hotels never live up to our expectation and I often don't sleep that well. I'd love a night at home in my own bed without the kids but that's not really feasible as my parents are 3 hours away - we'd spend the whole weekend driving! They're fairly elderly too so I don't feel they can cope for more than one night.
Best child free time I've had since they were born was a week away doing a course - I stayed with a friend and was out every night catching up with old uni pals. But DH and I won't ever have that much time to ourselves together. Its frustrating so I don't like to dwell on it too much.....fortunately I'm finding that time away with them is becoming easier and hence more restful.

[moondog]

There was a girl on here a while back who left her three week old baby with her husband to go on holiday with her older son.

[highlander]

I can't wait to have a night away from DS - he's 11 months. He wakes up so much that I've not even had a night out

Still, it's not all bad. We have people round for dinner quite a lot and it means I don't have too far to stagger at the end of the night

[tex111]

I didn't spend a night away from DS until he was 2.6 years old and I was away three nights for a girly trip to Paris. It was fab! DH and I have only been out alone for a few hours three times in three years - once to paint a house we bought, once for my D&C, and ONCE for dinner on my birthday. If we had family nearby it would be a very different story but we went into parenthood knowing that we wouldn't have a lot of help so can't complain.

Expecting another baby in November so DH and I joke that we'll see each other sometime in 2008!

[cori]

We have no family in this country at all. We have to rely on friends and our fantastic childminder for nights out.
I have had several nights away, when visting freinds who live on the other side of London or for girls nights.
I even have been on a short holiday without DS and DH (that was hard). DH and I had our first night away together in January. We had a night at the Savoy for DH 40th birthday. DS godmother babysat, we were concerned about it but really it was no problem at all. Recently I was in hospital over night and DS stayed at his childminders, again we were really concerned as he had never been away from home, again there was no problem at all. He wes really excited because he got to sleep in a Thomas bed.

[ssd]

I've never had a night away from my 2 and they are 7 and 4 years old.

A = we can't afford it but more importantly we have NO ONE to take the kids for us. Desperate for time to ourselves but I feel it'll never happen

[Thomcat]

Blimey Springchicken if you feel bad then, blimey what should I feel? Lottie has had LOADS and LOADS of nights at nanas. to some that makes me lucky, to others that might make me a bad mother. fact is D and I had a really hectic life before, he DJ's so we were out every weekend for years. Now it's several times a year. i could choose to stay behind and stay at home, which i do sometimes, but instead i choose to go with him to the major gigs and I'm lucky enough that I have a mum and stepdad that ask to have her and adore it when they get to have her overnight.

I know it's not easy for everyone, for various reasons, and I'm not questioing it, or passing comment, or anything, i just didn't realise that so many mums didn't wouldn't have had a night / morning to themselves, and some in a very, very long time. It's jsut slightly surprised me that's all.

[Blackduck]

Ds is now 2 and a bit and a VERY kind friend has said she'll try to give us two nights out a month (I can't wait!) We went of a lovely meal last time, and it was just like old times....could talk to DP and pretend to be a grown up person again ..... Just not sure I can afford two nights a month . Thomcat I'm with you on this one, think you should if you can...

[tigermoth]

just scanned this thread quickly. Can't see anyone so far who's topped our eleven years with no child free night. Do dh and I hold the mumsnet record

[jane313]

I'm sure I will be there with you when my son is 11. I always feel very jealous of people with family or friends who can offer any sort of help. A friend babysits for us every 2 months and thats it. Despite me babysitting loads and loads for my nephew we have never had any offers from my sil and brother.

How young can they be to have sleepovers with friends?

[beckym]

Wow 11 years! I managed a rather unimpressive 11 days! Feel slightly inadequate now

[Eowyn]

thought I would be worst with never having been apart after 5 & a bit years. I would absolutely love a child-free night but dh doesn't see any need, funnily enough he never wakes up in the night or when she gets up in morning, guess who does...
hope we manage a break before 11 years.

[juuule]

Just to make tigermoth feel better - dh and I have not had a child-free night together since ds1 was born 18 years ago . No-one to leave them with. But our day(night) will come again just hope we're not too old to enjoy it.

[tigermoth]

juule, eighteen years is a very long time. Do you not want your oldest child to be in charge of your younger ones overnight? or did your oldest leave home before they were old enough to do this? or do they just not want to? Oh I do hope it's not the latter reason.

I am fast counting down the years till I can leave my oldest in charge of my youngest sometimes. I reckon in just another 2.5 years, as long as the boys are sensible together, ds1 can start babysitting ds2, who will be 9 years old then. By the time ds1 is eighteen years old, there would have to be a VERY good reason why I couldn't leave them alone in the house overnight.

[jessicaandbumpsmummy]

lockets.... the way im feeling, i would rather stay at home with jess for the next 2 weeks - god i thought it was only kids that got seperation anxiety!!!

[PiccadillyCircus]

Lockets, I don't think I do mind really. I suppose I am feeling a bit something (don't know what) that probably my first night away from my lovely boy will be when I am having his brother or sister, which will not exactly be a restful experience .

DH and I do go out together, alone. Sometimes in the daytime, sometimes in the evening. I think I prefer daytime excursions anyway.


I also have quite a bit of time to myself at the moment - I am on maternity leave and DS is still going to nursery 2 days a week . And one of those days is today so I am enjoying a peaceful breakfast.

Think I have probably taken this thread a bit off the original topic but seeing as it was my thread, I feel entitled to do so .

[basketcase]

lockets - no, I am with you. If anything I just feel a little guilty as I know my parents would have such fun having them -and the girls would probably enjoy it. Just don?t want to really as I love having them around

[ssd]

lockets, although in my mind I'd love to have a night away I guess after 7 years I'm sort of used to not having a night away and I'd miss them if I ever went anywhere! Also I'm a SAHM and a childminder so my days are full of kids and not ever having a break gets me down sometimes

[tigermoth]

that must be hard, ssd. I would just like to know I have the choice of a childfree night or not. I would relish the odd weekend away from my children, with just dh. There is so much to do in London, just being able to wander round the city, not have any child orientated deadlines and demands for a couple of days would be so nice.