Who hasn't spent a night apart from their child/ren?

[PiccadillyCircus]

DS is nearly 21 months and I haven't yet spent the nigth away from him. As his brother or sister is due in the next month, I don't think this will be the case for long.

DH and I have kept meaning to get around to spending a night together somewhere without DS, but somehow it hasn't happened and I don't think it will now for quite a while.

I think I'm feeling a bit guilty about how DS will be when I'm not there to be honest - hopefully he will be fine and so will I.

[mumtosomeone]

not left youngest yet but have the others!
Ds4 is almost 11 months!

[hermykne]

next week is my first time leaving leaving ds and dd, for 2 nights, and the list of instructions, habits, what this means are beginning to build.

actually looking forward to it, but i know i'll be pine ing for them.

left dd once for a night before.

if this goes well - hopefully do it again

[ghost]

ditto

[Littlestarsweeper]

mmmmm, Ive only ever been out with my dh without ds 4 times in 4 years. Dont trust anyone with my little soldier.

[aloha]

I don't like being away from dh, actually. Not overnight. I'd miss him.

[aloha]

I wish...
Actually have spent one night away and it was fantastic but had to hurry back as my mum is so busy. She's great and has him lots but is reluctant to do overnights....and now we have dd and we are totally housebound as she doesn't go to sleep at a regular time. Ah well, when they are older...

[spod]

Message deleted

[Fimbo]

I haven't. Dh has due to work commitments. Like others we don't have anyone reliable to look after them (we live in England, friends and family live in Scotland). DD is 7 ds will be 2 in December.

[Mirage]

DD1 will be 2 in 2 weeks & the only time I have spent a night away was when I had dd2 & had to stay in hospital for a night.DD1 would probably happily spend the night with my sister or her grandparents,but we've never really thought about it.DD2 is only 13wks & still waking for night feeds,so its a bit unfair to ask someone else to have her overnight.

[sweetkitty]

We are like a lot of people on here no one to have her! Yes we would probably have a night away but theres no one to look after her. MIL won't have her as we won't allow her to smoke in front of DD (the comments we get for daring to ask her to go outside for a fag!) My Mum has had her twice in the last 3 months we have been living in the same town, the comments she directs at us in front of other people you would think we were abandoning her all the time, I have sounded her out a few times but no joy, feel uncomfortable leaving DD with her as I know she would take the opportunity to do everything I don't (feed her tea and chocolate constantly etc) to make a point!

Friends and other family are a no go, we have had several nights out but not overnight stays, we are having a night out on Saturday night for my 30th birthday.

TBH I couldn't leave her more than one night without me (maybe that will change when I have 2 of the little darlings!)

[robinia]

Dh and I spent 2 nights away from the children (dd and dss 1 & 2) when it was dh's 40th birthday. Had to get a nanny as no point asking my parents and dh's mum too old. TO be honest, I didn't really enjoy it - I did enjoy having me and dh time but missed the children and was worried about them. Also, we can get just as good dh & me time at home after the children have gone to bed or if we get a babysitter - I think I'm too old to stay up all night anyway!. The only thing I sometimes miss is being able to do things during the day with dh and without the kids - like have a lazy pub lunch or play tennis.

But I have been away with girl friends once a year since ds3 was born, only for one night each. That's been really good fun because I can relax knowing the children will be happy and well looked after with dh.

[suedonim]

Lockets, we've never felt we needed time away from our four children. My oldest two are 30 & 26yo and when they was small the idea of time away from children was an unknown concept. Over 30yrs, we've not had more than a few days completely child-free, but it really doesn't bother us.

[ssd]

it is hard tigermoth, but it's my choice so I shouldn't complain.

though I'm really jealous of people with younger parents still alive who help out and take the kids for a night now and then. My mum is elderly and PIL's have zero interest. Still I have a great dh and lovely (if "boisterous!) boys, so I know I'm lucky.

[elliott]

juuule did I count up 9 children there?! Wow!

[juuule]

Tigermoth - I did think once the older children got to an age where they could be responsible, then it might be possible. 18 year old is capable of looking after the rest of them while we go out, if he's not going out himself. However, I couldn't rest easy leaving them all night. Depending on mood 15y ds rivalry with 18y ds can be a bit of a challenge sometimes. 14y dd wants to be out with friends till all hours unless we insist she comes home (would be forever checking that she was home). 15y when bored "teases" 12y ds.
And while all this was going on would have to hope 10y, 8y, 7y, 5y, 2y were all tucked up asleep (what chance that??) 5y dd often wakes at night frightened.
Apart from that they are great kids and wouldn't change anything (well, maybe loan out the 15yo and 14yo for a couple of years).
So it's our own fault really and we can go out for a few hours occasionally, just not comfortable leaving them all overnight.

[tigermoth]

that must be hard, ssd. I would just like to know I have the choice of a childfree night or not. I would relish the odd weekend away from my children, with just dh. There is so much to do in London, just being able to wander round the city, not have any child orientated deadlines and demands for a couple of days would be so nice.

[ssd]

lockets, although in my mind I'd love to have a night away I guess after 7 years I'm sort of used to not having a night away and I'd miss them if I ever went anywhere! Also I'm a SAHM and a childminder so my days are full of kids and not ever having a break gets me down sometimes

[basketcase]

lockets - no, I am with you. If anything I just feel a little guilty as I know my parents would have such fun having them -and the girls would probably enjoy it. Just don?t want to really as I love having them around

[PiccadillyCircus]

Lockets, I don't think I do mind really. I suppose I am feeling a bit something (don't know what) that probably my first night away from my lovely boy will be when I am having his brother or sister, which will not exactly be a restful experience .

DH and I do go out together, alone. Sometimes in the daytime, sometimes in the evening. I think I prefer daytime excursions anyway.


I also have quite a bit of time to myself at the moment - I am on maternity leave and DS is still going to nursery 2 days a week . And one of those days is today so I am enjoying a peaceful breakfast.

Think I have probably taken this thread a bit off the original topic but seeing as it was my thread, I feel entitled to do so .

[jessicaandbumpsmummy]

lockets.... the way im feeling, i would rather stay at home with jess for the next 2 weeks - god i thought it was only kids that got seperation anxiety!!!

[tigermoth]

juule, eighteen years is a very long time. Do you not want your oldest child to be in charge of your younger ones overnight? or did your oldest leave home before they were old enough to do this? or do they just not want to? Oh I do hope it's not the latter reason.

I am fast counting down the years till I can leave my oldest in charge of my youngest sometimes. I reckon in just another 2.5 years, as long as the boys are sensible together, ds1 can start babysitting ds2, who will be 9 years old then. By the time ds1 is eighteen years old, there would have to be a VERY good reason why I couldn't leave them alone in the house overnight.

[juuule]

Just to make tigermoth feel better - dh and I have not had a child-free night together since ds1 was born 18 years ago . No-one to leave them with. But our day(night) will come again just hope we're not too old to enjoy it.

[Eowyn]

thought I would be worst with never having been apart after 5 & a bit years. I would absolutely love a child-free night but dh doesn't see any need, funnily enough he never wakes up in the night or when she gets up in morning, guess who does...
hope we manage a break before 11 years.