Approaching this subject with trepidation; how much time do you spend with your children?

[tortoiseonthehalfshell]

I'm hoping for an informal poll, and very much hoping it doesn't kick into a WOH/SAH thread, because I think we're all sick of them. But I do get curious, on those threads, about how many actual hours we all spend with the kids, because it depends on so many variables - are they in school, do you have friends/family who'll take them for an afternoon or a sleepover here and there, what your comfort level with them being away from you is, etc. I am always nosy intrigued about other people's daily lives.

Will anyone humour me?

I'll start. I have one toddler daughter.

I work a 40 hour week with a fair commute, over 4 days a week. I spend 2-3 waking hours with my daughter on my 4 workdays, and all day (which equates to about 10 awake hours; she sleeps 12 hours at night and has a 2 hour nap in the day) on the other 3 days. Also she still wakes twice a night, my husband and I take one each.

Once every 6 weeks I spend a morning (3 hours ) at the hairdressers. Once every 3 months (ish) I spend an evening out with my husband or for a work function. At this age, that's all.

Anyone?

I work four days a week so only see DS (2.7) for an hour and a half on these evenings before he goes to bed. My Friday off I spend all day and night with him. I go for a jog on Sat & Sun and a driving lesson totalling four hours away from him. Actually just started an exercise class on a Mon evening which gives me only half an hour with him and that makes me feel terribly guilty!

I work 22.5 hours a week in office, then do a further full day at home on my partner's books and doing general cleaning sometimes too...

Have 3 yr old DD in childcare (mix of nursery and childminder at mo) four days a week, plus a 13 year old DD1 at secondary school.

I am off all day with DD2 on Friday, plus all weekend. Same with DD1 except she does her own thing a lot at weekends now, so sometimes don't see her. Yay.

I usually tie in my hairdressers' appointments with my day working at home thing, cos that's more flexible. And I sometimes go out to local pub with DP and leave 13 yo when 3yr old is in bed. I am hopiong we'll be able to do that more in the coming years.

I'm quite happy with it all personally!!

Ooh look two puppies in the first two posts!

I am with my primary school age children all the time apart from school hours.

Except for

when they go out to someone else's house

after school activities

when they go to stay with grandparents (probably 10 days/nights away per year)

or when dh takes them out for a morning or afternoon.

I do go out in the evenings (quite a lot) but I don't count that as "not being with them" because I wouldn't be with them at home anyway as they are in bed by 8.30pm.

Two children, 7 and nearly 4. 7 yr old is at school from 9-3.15. 3 yr old at nursery from 12.30-3. No naps - v wakeful childen actually, both up around 7 and not asleep until 8.30/9.30.

I work from home 3 days per week. On my two days off I am with them all the time they are out of school/nursery.

On one of my working days I do the drop off then my mum picks them up and gives them their evening meal - dh and I usually get to eat along together that day when he gets back from work and the children get in just before bedtime.

On my 2 other work days dh does the childcare but obviously I am around in the mornings for breakfast/getting ready and I take a break when they come in from school and nursery. We eat together as a family every night apart from the one I mentioned.

Dh and I aim for 2 weekends away per year together. This tends to end up being attending weddings. We each individually have around 2 weekends away for work per year, and maybe around one a month one or other of us has to work from home during the weekend. We try to have it as family time though.

The mobile hairdresser come and does us all . I go out to an exercise class twice a week. I maybe go out with friends once every couple of months or so, same goes for me and dh getting out - it's not that often but more than it used to be. When they were babies it was a quick meal out for one of our birthdays (they are close together so the other got a special meal cooked at home) and our anniversary and that was it! The weekends away didn't start until the little one was well over 2.

So, I haven't counted the hours but it feels like enough and I am very comfortable with being away from them .

I have two kids - 2YO DS and 10MO DD.

I spend the following:
Monday: 24 Hours 9both kids)
Tuesday: 24 hours (DD) nanny looks after DS 9-12noon. I take DD to gym class
Wednesday: 24 hours (both kids
thursday: 24 hours (DS) nanny looks after DD 9-11am
Friday: 24 hours (both kids)
Saturday: 24 hours (both kids)
Sunday: 24 hours (both kids)

I need to get out more!!!

I only counted the hours because I was curious about the whole 'other people bringing up your kids' claims that get bandied around, and realised I'm with mine for more than half her waking hours.

But also I would like to be able to do exercise classes and things some time in the future without it taking away from the time I do get with mine, and no idea how to do that. I suppose it's just waiting till they get older.

I actually think it would do my DS good to spend more time away from me.. He's quite clingy to me and gets upset if he even thinks I might leave him (Which I only do once a week when I take DD to a gym class)

Even then, the nanny comes to my house and he never leaves the house without me.

Something is going to have to change before he starts school!!!

I have a 2yr old and work full time (DP does 4 days a week.)

Mon-Thur - He is with one of us for 4hrs (with me for 3hrs)
Friday - With DP all day and I finish early so 5hrs with me.
Weekends - with one of us all the time.

We rarely use babysitters.

Just working it; on an average week he spends 43% of waking hours at nursery and 57% with one of us.

Sorry, I just said that at the end because I realised I hadn't actually done what you asked! It's inexact anyway, what I have said is the most typical week but it can and does change.

I think I have a good balance now, of being with them and getting some time with dh and for myself but it took ages to get to that point. I was working and studying when my first was little so I didn't do anything outside that so I could spend time with her. And then I had another one, but yes, it does get easier as they get older - for a start, they often have their own activities.

All the bloody time.

Mine are 5 and 2 and the 5y old is home educated. He'll be starting things like Scouts soon so won't be with me 24/7.

I have 3 DC. Pregnant with no 4.

I work approx 15hours a week. Usually 4 hrs after school on 2 week days. All day Sunday.

I'm also studying (uni)

I do all of the drop off and pick ups for school and nursery, though DS1 is 13 and makes his own way to and from school.

I have both of the youngest home for lunch at least twice a week, usually the days that I'm working after school.

I spend a lot of time with the DC but I don't actually do that much with them compared to when they were younger. I tend to do some sort of activity with DD in the mornings if I haven't got uni but they are content to amuse themselves and my role seems to be much more referee than active participant.

I try to spend at least half an hour each evening talking with DS1 when the younger DC have gone to bed as they are much more demanding of attention than he is. It is one of my favourite times of the day as he is growing up and trying out his own opinions on me.

DD is in afternoon nursery so I get most mornings with her and my mum has her when I'm at uni so I try to have DS2 home for lunch on his own when possible on those days as he is the only one out of the 3 that I don't get to spend time with alone.

I spend every day with my ds, from the moment he wakes at 6:30 til he goes to bed at 7. He's 2.10 and starts nursery in September and I genuinely can not wait for a bit of time away from him. Sounds horrible but I really do think it would do us both good now.

I am with my children all the time with the exception of school hours, after school clubs or parties etc.
They go out with DH on his own a lot as he likes taking them to rugby and walkingthe dog.

DS1 obviously goes out a lot and when home he is in his room studying and pissing about quite a lot.
But DS2 is 13 and has SN so I am with him all thetime. DD is 7 , nearly 8 and I am also with her til bedtime too.

DD will obviously end up the same as DS1 but DS2 and I are destined for all eternity together

Actually, when he is older and I can't even nip to the shops it will be pretty hard I think. But that is life.

I'm a SAHM and apart from during school hours and if they go to play at friends houses I am with them all the time. Usually at the weekends we'll all do something together or DH will take one to do something and I'll do something different with the other one. I v.rarely do my own things (like hairdressers etc) at the weekend as I usually fit it all into the time they are at school. Like someone else said, I don't really count evenings out as being "away" from them as they'd be in bed anyway.

Now that they are bigger (6 and 8) and play together a lot without needing me, I do find myself sometimes thinking that although I am with them all the time, I'm not spending as much time actually "with" them as I used to IYSWIM! Sometimes it feels like I haven't given them much attention even though I've been there all the time. I suppose I'm trying to say that quality time does count, not just quantity.

All the time apart from school hours, except if DH takes them to the park for a bit without me at the weekends. During the summer holiday I book them into holiday club for a few sessions (last year they did 2 days per week for 3 of the weeks). They also spend the occassionally couple of nights away at grandparents. Last time the GPs asked to keep them for 3 nights and I said I couldn't cope with more than 2 without feeling a bit sad.

They are still only 7 and 5 and still like doing stuff with me (what age do they think parents are too 'uncool'?). When they are older I imagine we won't spend as many hours together.

All the time with DS (7m) at the moment. I occasionally put him down for a minute in the playpen if I need to get something out of the oven for example.

DD (3) goes to a Cm 3 days per week who takes her to playgroup. I pick her up at 4.

When I go back to work, I will be working probably 4 days a week. I will drop DS at the CM at 8am, take DD to pre-school for 8.30am and go to work. I will leave work absolutely no later than 5 - work are very good about this and fetch both children either from CM or from DD's dance class depending on the day. Usually home by 5.45.

DS goes to bed around 7.30 at the moment. DD usually goes to sleep at 8.30. I will be up with DS when he wakes as I'm expecting to be breast feeding and it is easier to feed him back to sleep. With DD, Dh and I take turns.

I do exercise/ hair appointments etc during lunch breaks at work. All weekends are spent with the children. I do have leg waxes etc which are 45 minutes after DS is in bed or on a saturday morning. I would love to join a running club but don;t see that happening in the next year or so.

GPs are very good and very involved. DH and I go out together perhaps once every 2 months - usually only for birthday/ anniversary type things.

I have a 19 month old son, and I work three days a week.

Monday and Tuesday, DS wakes about 5-6am and I get up with him, and I'm with him all day until he goes to bed at 7. He naps for about 90 min.

Weds-Friday, DH gets up with DS, so I see him for 30 min or so at home before I leave, and then I walk his buggy to nursery on my way to work (40 min walk). DH picks him up from nursery, I get home at 6.30pm, then DS goes to bed at 7.

Weekends, DH gets up with DS, I get up about 9-10 ish, then most weekends we spend all of both days together. Occasionally I'll meet up with friends for a few hours. DS naps between 1 and 3 hours, depending on if he falls asleep in his buggy when out, or bed at home.

My children are 6 and 8 and I spend with them the time they aren't at school (which finishes at 4.30 in Italy. Dd is at her last year of nursery school and finishes at 3.45)

Except when:

-they go to play at someone else's house

• my mother or my auntie offer to pick one of them up from school, while I take the other to an after school activity

• they sleep over at my parents, which is on average once a month. Sometimes more often.

I've always sent mine to nursery for a few hrs a week when they were little (from 12 months), as I've always thought it was good for them (and me)

Just a wee question.... Of the time you spend with your children, how much would you say is 'quality' time when you're playing with them, drawing, etc and not doing housework/watching TV etc?

I'm just curious as, out of the time I'm with my children which is a lot as I'm now on maternity leave I don't think I spend that much quality time with them.

Personally I try to get a balance between children playing with siblings/friends/themselves/me.

I work 3.5 days a week.

On the days I work a full day I am with the children from when they wake up (stupid o'clock, usually) until 8am when I leave for work, and from 6.30pm until bedtime.

On my half day, I take them to school/nursery, work in the morning, collect ds from nursery at noon and dd from school at 3.

On my full day off, I take them to school/nursery, collect them both at 3.

So, during the week it's between 2 hours and 6 hours depending on the day. More in school holidays.

At the weekend I'm with them all the time unless they are with my parents or in-laws. They usually spend a weekend with one or the other of them every 3 months or so.

It's a good balance. I see enough of them to feel that I know what they're up to, what they're thinking, what's on their mind, but I also have some time to get on with things I need to do.

I don't think I could do 24/7 parenting. I admire people who can, but it just isn't me. I'm a better parent when I'm not a full time parent.

My DCs are 4.10 (at school) and 2.5 (at home with nanny). I normally work 4 days a week so see them:

• approx 1 hour in the morning (get up 7.45, leave for work/school 8.45)

• approx 1-1.5 hrs in the evening (get home 6.30pm, bedtime 7.30/8pm)

• with DD all day Wednesday and with DS from 3.30 school collection until bedtime, unless he has a post-school playdate (I try to avoid booking these for wednesdays as we enjoy our time together )

• weekends, although occasionally one or both will go to stay at my parents or MILs for one evening as a treat for them (and us!)

DD will be starting nursery 9-12 in September, and will be at home (with nanny) outside of that.

I am now at home full time as DC3 was due on Monday so will hopefully be spending an awful lot more time with both DCs plus the newbie over the coming months

Not sure how much time - but actually, I'd say housework counts as quality time! DS is just as happy (sometimes more so) 'helping' me hoover, or carrying laundry to the washing machine for me, as if he's colouring or I'm reading to him.

I mean, he doesn't know that the hoover and washing machine aren't actually very entertaining toys used just for him. He adores our hoover (well, Dyson), hugs it lots and occasionally kisses it. And earlier this week when I was hoovering he fetched a baby wipe and started trying to clean it as I was using it!

When he's up at 5am though, I have to admit to a fair amount of CBeebies, which is definitely not quality time. But I do the hoovering later to make up for it

I have 3 DC, all primary school age.

I work part time, term time only. This means that although I have to drop them at school early (at breakfast club) I am always there to pick them up at 3.30.

They get up at about 7am, so we have about an hour together at home then a 10 minute walk together to breakfast club.

I pick whichever of them is not in an after school activity up at 3.30, apart from on Tuesdays when I do into their school to help out with an after school activity!

Even if one or more of them is in an after school activity that will have finished by 5.

Youngest goes to bed at 7pm, eldest at about 8.30pm.

So weekdays, term time, I spend between 3 and 6 hours a day with them.

At weekends (and during school holidays) I spend pretty much all day with at least one of them. They all go to Sunday school for 1.5 hours on a Sunday morning though, which is without us. And I might take one child to one activity while DH takes another to another, so I'm not strictly with all three all of the time.

During term time most of the time that I spend with them is "quality" time as I am able to do most of the housework etc in the afternoons. We tend to go to the park after school, or play board games together etc. Obviously some of the time is spent eating, but that is round the table together so I would call it quality time.