Approaching this subject with trepidation; how much time do you spend with your children?

[tortoiseonthehalfshell]

I'm hoping for an informal poll, and very much hoping it doesn't kick into a WOH/SAH thread, because I think we're all sick of them. But I do get curious, on those threads, about how many actual hours we all spend with the kids, because it depends on so many variables - are they in school, do you have friends/family who'll take them for an afternoon or a sleepover here and there, what your comfort level with them being away from you is, etc. I am always nosy intrigued about other people's daily lives.

Will anyone humour me?

I'll start. I have one toddler daughter.

I work a 40 hour week with a fair commute, over 4 days a week. I spend 2-3 waking hours with my daughter on my 4 workdays, and all day (which equates to about 10 awake hours; she sleeps 12 hours at night and has a 2 hour nap in the day) on the other 3 days. Also she still wakes twice a night, my husband and I take one each.

Once every 6 weeks I spend a morning (3 hours ) at the hairdressers. Once every 3 months (ish) I spend an evening out with my husband or for a work function. At this age, that's all.

Anyone?

all day, every day except on weekends dh might take ds1 out for a bit, but not ds2

Mine are all primary school age and I am with them for all non school hours, except where they're at Brownies etc. It is quality time? heck no.

24/7 unless they are in school or with friends etc.
I work flexibly from home so move my hours around them. Don't use any child care and don't have family near by.

I'm really glad I've been able to spend so much time with them...tho sometimes we do get on each others tits. Especially in the eight week summer holidays LOL.

We have 2 children, I work in an office full-time in a professional role with a fair commute, so out of the house 7 am - 6.30 pm each day and often longer, and DH is freelance and either off work at home, away in another country, or out of the house 10 am - 8 pm each day.

DS is 3.5 years old and so far has had one of us at home full-time for 20 months of his life. DD is 9 months old and I am still on maternity leave, DH has also been at home full time on and off for a few months since she was born.

When we are both at work, we see the DC for about 3 or 4 hours a day and all day at the weekends and in the holidays. I get about 5 weeks a year annual leave.

So my maths, ignoring maternity leaves and times when DH is off work, is:
3.5 hrs in which the DC are awake x 240 work days = 840 hrs
14 hrs in which the DC are awake x 125 non working days = 1750 hours
Total 2590 hours p.a. we spend with DC
out of 14 hrs x 365 days = 5110 hrs

So just over 50% of DC's waking hours are spent with us as a minimum.

That's why I don't worry that DC will forget us when we are working full-time.

I think we forget how much annual leave and time off we have in the UK.

In the US, it is normal for annual leave entitlement to be only a week a year.

2 dds 3 and 4.I'm a sahm 36 weeks pg with dc3.

dd1 does preschool mon and thurs mornings (3hrs) and tues (6 hours).

otherwise she is with me, dd2 is with me all day.

They wake about 6 and go to bed about 7, no naps.

Blimey suddenly that seems like a really loooooong time (it has been a bloody awful day!)

I spend almost every day of the week with DS, except on the occasional day DH takes him off to his own parents for the day (so that's around 7 hrs to myself).

My own folks will maybe take him once a fortnight for the day (6-7 hrs again). We don't have a regular set up or anything, it just happens when relatives have time. Most of the time I'm with DS though. Makes me really appreciate the time I do get to myself though, that's the only bonus of being with him all the time!

Hard to work out really.

DC are 8 and 6.

I leave before they get up in the morning. DH gets them ready and takes them to school. I pick them up about 5. So they spend three hours a day with me during the week, and about 3 hours a day with DH (overlapping, so probably 4.5 - 5 hours with a parent). Actually, less than that, because they have beavers/cubs/dancing/cricket etc.

Weekends, usually with us. Together or apart. It varies a lot, depending on what we are doing. Sometimes on a cub trip, although DH usually helps with those. Sometimes with grandparents. Sometimes with friends - sleepovers etc.

School holidays I have off too, so all the time then, apart again from trips to grandparents.

Just one DS aged 3. DH usually gets up with DS week days and takes him to nursery, I collect him at 11.30 and have him until DH gets home for dinner around 6ish, when we share time together. So usually around 6 1/2 - 7 hours a day.

DH usually does bathtime at around 7pm.

Weekends, we share care most of the day, couldn't really split it into hours.

Occasionally, my Mum might pick him up from Nursery and DH collects him on the way home from work. Same when I've appointments to go to etc and can't collect him, Grandma has him for the day.

This is our current routine, due to circumstances. Previously DH spent a lot of time working late/away and I'd have DS from breakfast to bedtime.

I am with my DS9 anytime he is not in School. We spend a lot of quality time, as I can do chores during the school day. We are lucky I do not need to work. When my DDs in their 20s were his age I saw them about 15 hours a week. I am making the most of it definitely the last one.

I have one DS aged 13 months. I work three mornings a week and one full day. SO I have all day Monday with him (he naps for about 2 hours of that), so say 10 hours.

Tuesday to Thursday he is in nursery from 8.30 to 1, so he is with me from 1 till bedtime (7) and he naps about an hour of that so say 5 hours times 3 is 15 hours.

Then Fridays he is in nursery from about 9 to 12.30 whilst DH works from home and then DH has him till I come home at 5, so I get about 2 hours with him at the end of the day, and he has about 4 or 4.5 with DH depending on naps.

Then all weekend with us both. So about 50 hours (approx) out of a likely 70 hours waking time a week. Sounds OK to me...

DDs (6) all the time- they're home educated and I never go anywhere (too old/all my friends have moved/are as boring/skint/lazy as I am)- so that's 24/24 hours

but DS (12) is at his dad's every other weekend goes to clubs every night and seems to be at some sleepover or other the rest of the time- so he's at home roughly 12/24 hours (and he's asleep for most of them)

This week we are making him come on a Family Camping Trip.

MwwwwwwAAAAAAA HA HA HA HAAAaaaaa

I'm with DD (toddler) all the time except for the three days that I work, when I only see her for about an hour and a half each day. I get the odd afternoon/evening out (maybe once every 3 weeks on average?) during which time she's usually with DH.

I work 28 hours a week over 4 days, so:

Monday: all day (11 waking hours)
Tues - Fri: an hour or so in the morning and then 2 hours in the evening (2 hours qualityish time )
Saturday and Sunday all day, except probably every other Saturday I'll go out for 2-3 hours and get bits and bobs done / hairdressers / coffee with friends.

I probably go out with friends or dp once a week on average, but that's after his bedtime, and my Mum will have him to sleepover about once every 2 months for the best part of 24 hours.

Think we've got a pretty good balance, but still feel wracked with guilt occasionally, usually between Tuesday and Friday, but am so glad I get to spend all day Monday with him

Interesting.

I work 40 hours/week locally.

I wake up and get ready and then wake the boys - spend about 1 hour with them in the morning and then drop them both at school.

DS1 arrives at home at about 4.00 and spends time with my ma. 3 days per week my DS2 is in kids club until I collect him at 5.15, the other 2 days my ma collects him from school.

I spend from 5.30 - 9.00ish with the children and my mum. I am not gazing rapt at them, we all get on with our own things, sometimes together, sometimes apart.

Weekends are variable. Sometimes I'm out, and they are with family/friends. Mostly we are all together all weekend.

You're all wonderful, thank you.

I agree with whoever said that housework counts as quality time, by the way; at least it does with a toddler. She 'helps' me do whatever I'm doing (including a wee ) and I doubt she distinguishes between helping me unload the dishwasher and helping me read Poppy Cat's Farm for the 12,583,695,673th time.

I work full time, term time only. Ds wakes anywhere between 5 and 6am, so we get a couple of hours in the morning, altough I wouldn't necessarily call it quality time as I am half asleep still!

Then he gets picked up between 4-5pm, a couple more hours, which includes "watching mummy make tea"

All day at weekends and in holidays. I do miss him, but have no choice.

I feel better reading this, especially when someone pointed out the division of hours over a year.

About 4 waking hours on weekdays and all day every day on weekend days. Me and DW are rarely alone with a DC though as we share care time evenly and work at home together. It has always been this way from the moment DS1 was born and he is 10 now. We have ony been out for an evening together without DSs about 5 - 6 times in the whole of that ten years.

I think a lot of people feel guilt about not spending enough time with DCs. Me and DW do. We work at home though and it is impossible to work with DSs here. We solve this by putting them in after school care and holiday clubs every day but when we are with them we do try to make it family time and we make sure when they are doing things outside home and outside school hours it is good quality activity not just child containment.

TBH the DSs are not that bothered about being with us every waking hour. As long as we are always there for them. We have asked them and they tell us to stop fussing. The only time they express any unhappiness or anxiety is when one of us is not physically there when they get home or leave for school. That is very rare.

I work six hours a day three days a week, with a v short commute. On work days, I see DD, aged nearly 4, for an hour and a half before nursery and then about 4 or 5 hours when she gets home. On non-work days we are together and both awake for about 13 hours. That averages out over the week at about 10 and a half hours per day that we spend together. Once in three weeks, DH gets a long weekend where he's off for five days, all of which are non-nursery days so I tend to schedule appointments that I prefer to do alone (like getting my hair cut) then so DD always has her dad on non-nursery days if she isn't with me.

When I'm working, I work 5 days a week 6am - 5pm, so I see the kids for about 3 hours over the course of the day.

If I'm not working, I'm at home with them all the time.

DS is 2.6 and I am with him, in general, all the time except for a few hours some fridays when grandma takes him out for a while, an odd hour here and there when I go shopping and leave him with DH; and very occasional nights out. I think being older helps me - I don't mind at all.

I have a 19mo toddler and every week is utterly different as to how much time I spend with him. Generally I am SAHM but I work in theatre so end of May I had a 2 week course which only paid expenses, I was there full time but didn't start til 10 so got up with DS and left at 9am, wouldn't have got home before bedtime so stayed out most nights til 9/10pm. The second week of the course my mum had him at her house for 5 days so I didn't see him at all.

In a few weeks I have an unpaid directing job, my mum is again having DS for a full week, and I'm rehearsing on the weekend in between so I will probably only see him for about 16 waking hours in 10days

If I get a paid jon, I will normally be working full time for 4-5weeks so will be with DS in the mornings and weekends, then won't see him at all for about a week during tech, then will be back to spending all but one full day and one afternoon a week with him.

I do often feel like I pass him from pillar to post, I'm lucky I have very hands on parents and very supportive DH and a wealth of out of work actor friends who step in to help when I have meetings or unpaid rehearsals....and very flexible childminders when I do get paid work.

Have to say I am in danger of getting bored when I'm at home for too long a period (over a month), but so far DS is showing to be pretty cuddly with me whilst also sociable with adults and children. I'm screwed if we have another baby and do worry that it will confuse him eventually, not knwoing if I'm coming or going (mega guilt when he was 9mo-1yr over this and going through serious seperation anxiety)

DD is 8y and is at school Mon to Fri from 8:30am til 3:45pm

On school days I wake DD around 7am and I leave for work just before 8am (so 1 hour then)

I collect her from school every day generally unless she goes to a friend's house.

So -
Monday: approx 3:45pm - 8pm (4.15 hours)
Tuesday: up late, but has drama for an hour or so (approx 3.5 hr)
Wednesday: up late but has Brownies; at moment also has regular rehearsals at school, so not home much at all (approx 1 hr)
Thursday: 4:15hr
Friday: 5hrs (although often has friend round so I don't see her as such, but hear her and feed her, etc. Stays up later.

Weekends - unless me and/or DH are away (not very often) then we spend the weekends together - so approx 12 hrs a day

Total is approx 47 hours a week (day time only)

I work full time and have a 10 month old dd so I spend an hour with her before work and an hour and a half with her after work 5 days a week , but then the whole time during the weekends. My parents or in-laws have her overnight maybe once every 5-6 weeks. But I'm a teacher so get to be a full time mummy during all the holidays

I have ds1 (2) and ds2 (1). I spend 24 hours a day 5 days a week with them. I work 2 days a week and see them for 2.5hrs in the morning and 1.5hrs before bed. Thankfully they are both in bed 7pm-6am now so I have that time to 'sit down'!! Pg with dc3 so not sure if/how that will change things? I am very aware that I did to try and start finding some 1 to 1 time with them, but not quite sure how to work that?!