Approaching this subject with trepidation; how much time do you spend with your children?

[tortoiseonthehalfshell]

I'm hoping for an informal poll, and very much hoping it doesn't kick into a WOH/SAH thread, because I think we're all sick of them. But I do get curious, on those threads, about how many actual hours we all spend with the kids, because it depends on so many variables - are they in school, do you have friends/family who'll take them for an afternoon or a sleepover here and there, what your comfort level with them being away from you is, etc. I am always nosy intrigued about other people's daily lives.

Will anyone humour me?

I'll start. I have one toddler daughter.

I work a 40 hour week with a fair commute, over 4 days a week. I spend 2-3 waking hours with my daughter on my 4 workdays, and all day (which equates to about 10 awake hours; she sleeps 12 hours at night and has a 2 hour nap in the day) on the other 3 days. Also she still wakes twice a night, my husband and I take one each.

Once every 6 weeks I spend a morning (3 hours ) at the hairdressers. Once every 3 months (ish) I spend an evening out with my husband or for a work function. At this age, that's all.

Anyone?

When ds1 was 9 months I went back to work full-time and studied p/t, I had 2 full days a month with him, then saw him for 1 hr each morning and 30 mins each evening. It was awful and I told my husband I would NEVER work full-time again until they're all in school! Thank goodness ds2 turned up so I could go back on Maternity leave!

So what is the average then, it's all a bit mind boggling! You need a list of numbers to work it out.

Not counting when the kids are asleep, my numbers are:

6h x 5 days = 30

• (12h x 2 days (weekend) = 24h) =

54h total

13h x 5 days = 65

• (4h x 2 days = 8h)

= 73h total!

DD is nearly 4 and at nursery full time usually because we both work. She is with us an hour in the morning 6.30-7.30 and then 5-bedtime at night 5 days pw. Then all weekend.

Not great but it's what we have to do unfortunately. When new DC comes along will have a baby in nursery 9-5, 5 days pw from 7 months old and DD will be dropped off at school from 9 and picked up from after-school club at 5. Of course will have a period of mat leave for a while which will be nice.

I hate the arrangements tbh but can't see any other way we can do it. When I can, I plan to reduce my hours further.

Mine are 6 (DD) and 8 (DS).

DD is at school 8.30-3.30.

DS at school 8-4.15

We get up at 6.20 to walk DS to school, so I see them for around 1.5 hours every morning. By the time DS is in bed, it's about nine, so that's five hours after school. Plus all weekends (they don't do clubs, sport or whatever at weekends).

They get 20 weeks of school hols, when I see them pretty much 24/7 unless DD is at a friend's house (DS has AS, and won't go to other people's houses).

Until DS went to school at five, I saw them all day, every day.

Of course, a lot of the time was spent doing housework and such like, so I wasn't spending "quality time" with them all that time!

I have 3 DCs- DS- 5yo; DD1- nearly 3yo, DD2- 7 months

I work 20 hours a week, with one full day (out of house 8:45am return 5.30pm) and 3 mornings (8.45-1.30). DS is at school while I working mostly except on my full day when MIL minds him after school, along with the other DCs. She minds DDs for my full day and one morning at work, a childminder does the other 2 mornings (DS will be going to her also during the school hols).

Quite a lot of juggling is involved but I originally didn't plan to be at work at all and feel I need to maximise the time I have with the DCs at this young age, so try to do some hours of work when they sleep at night and fit as much as I can into school hours. I am really a control freak also who finds it hard to hand my kids over to others!! (though do in a way relish the break of being at work sometimes)

I'm with them all the rest of the time- DH works long hours at the moment and we don't yet use babysitters etc. as I'm still bf'ing DD2 and she feeds a lot at night so kind of stuck at home!

oops so the math, for during school term time:

4.5hr x 1
8.5hr x 3
12hr x 3

= 66 waking hrs per week (assuming 12 hours sleep at night - so more for DD2, who doesn't sleep 12 hours a night ever!!!)

I think mine works out at 54 hrs per week during term time, and 98 hrs per week during school hols. Gulp.

I have one DS, who is 21mo. I work 2.5 days a week and use the other half of Friday for my university time, so he's at nursery for those days. Otherwise he's at home with me in the week and obviously with DP too at weekends.

So, assuming a usual 6am wake-up and 7.30ish bedtime, with a nap 1-3ish, that makes 4 lots of 11.5hrs, so 46 hours all in all.

I actually wish it was more. He's my little mate and we mostly have lots of fun together I was thinking about increasing my hours at work after my uni course is finished in September, so that I work the extra afternoon as well, just to save up some more money before we start trying for another baby. But I'd rather be picking him up early.

Most of the time we spend together is 'quality time', although I agree with whoever said that housework often counts in this regard - DS loves to clean alongside me

comme ci comme ca

Mine are 11, 7 and 4. I spend about 2 hours every weekday morning with them (7am 9am) though to call that quality time would be to tell an outright lie. 3 days a week I pick up from school and so have from 3.30pm - bedtime with them, though on 2 of those days i am taking the various kids to various activities.
2 days a week i get home after bedtime.

So weekdays an average of 4.4 hours per day and at weekends, usually the whole weekend - we don't tend to split up that much at weekends, usually do whole family stuff together, festivals, swimming, art galleries, gardening, whatever

I didn't even realise lots of us are working an over 40hr week just with our childcare until reading this thread! I was wondering why I felt tired when I don't even have a paid job!

So Tortoise - you do 42hrs childcare (if my maths is right) AND 40hrs paid work! That is a LOT of work. Maybe we should have a thread about how many hours per week do people get to do what they want which doesn't include children or work!

Sorry - don't follow that link. It didn't work!

househusbandconfessions.wordpress.com

Every minute of every day at the moment. I have 3 kids, 1 at primary school and 2 at home. Can't wait till September when I go go back to Uni and get some freedom. Can't go to the loo on my own at the moment!!!!

I have two kids, DD is 2.7 and DD2 is 3 weeks. I am with them both every waking minute (including the ones that happen at night!).

DD1 is going to start nursery in September for two afternoons a week and it will be great for both of us I think!

What would be more interesting is looking at activities I think. I am very aware that DD1 has an activity in the am and pm most days but then there are great swathes of the day when she has to amuse herself (or watch cbeebies!) while I am dealing with the baby or cooking or something. I sometimes feel hugely guilty that she isn't doing all the creative things she might be doing if she was at nursery or had a better mother!

SAHM to 5yo, 4yo, 2yo and 7wo.

Obviously 5yo is at school and 4yo at nursery.

I am with the other two all the time.

I would say I get about an hour off a week when I go to the shops by myself.

Does having half an hour to have a shower in the evening whilst DP looks after them count?

I've been at home with 15mo ds pretty much full time since he was born. Did a couple of freelance projects where I had a babysitter come for a few hours, but it was really minimal.

5yo is in kindergarten from 9.30 - 4. We walk home (with 15mo too, obviously) and do errands (shopping) or go to the playground. Supper at 5.30pm, then bathtime. Toddler goes to bed at 7, then I spend an hour with ds before he goes to bed. We play a game or draw or have a super-extended storytime.

They both wake up around 7/7.30 and they sit in the kitchen with me while I'm getting breakfast ready. Toddler brings spoons to the table (one at a time!), 5yo often does a drawing.

While 5yo is at kindergarten, I'm full-time with toddler- he naps for an hour and a half after lunch. Otherwise we potter around at home (doing washing, tidying up, cooking), go out shopping or to playground, and do a bit of concentrated playing or reading books - though his attention span is very short!

Dh is rarely at home in the evenings on weekdays, so it's really just me and them.

So - Mon-Fri:
5yo, 7-9, 4-8 = 6 hrs
30 hrs a week
5 hrs of this is just me and him.

15 mo:
7 - 7 = 12 hrs (or 10.5 if not counting naps)
60 hrs (52.5)

Weekends is all mixed up, but I'm always with at least one of them. We try to do as much all together as possible.

Don't have telly on much, maybe a couple of days a week for half an hour or so for 5yo.

I sometimes work in the evenings after they're in bed and I'm pretty much knackered for most of the time.

Not sure if anyone can conclude any sensible figures out of this!

God - sorry - that was really long. Too much detail, sorry!

Term time:
ds1 4.1 = approx 65 hours per week
ds2 2.4 = approx 71 hours per week

School holidays:
ds1 80ish hours
ds2 75 hours

(awake hours only). Have excluded all the time in the night when they're awake and wailing or demanding things but should be asleep.

No wonder I feel so bloody exhausted!

Work FT - about 10 hours per day, so 50 hours per week.

Weekends, with DD all day, so 12 hours a day

Weekdays, an hour and half in the morning, same in the evening, so 3 hours a day.

So 39 hours in total, vs the 45 hours she spends in school or with nanny. Not too far off a 50/50 split.

That's an 89 hour working week if you count childcare as work. I don't though - lucky to have lots of home help so my time with DD is generally pleasure and fun time. For her at least - playing dress up as princesses a 100 times a weekend is starting to lose its appeal for me!

We have a strange set or so I'm told. But it works for us. I see my children 4 days a week. I work 3 days and am I away from home ( out of the country)on those days.
DH is a stay at home dad and is with them all their waking hours except when they are not at pre school.
When I'm at home, I'm with them all the time and don't do many chores apart from cooking and loading dishwasher. I clean in the morning before they wake up but not excessively. Because I miss them so much when I'm not home I rarely want them out of my sight.
They seem happy But I'll never know until I get the therapist bill when they are older.

I always feeel guilty when I ignore them, but if I didn't occaasionally, I wouldn't get any washing, ironing, cooking or cleaning done! Plus, I wonder if it was the amount of one-to-one attention my daughter (5) got when young that makes her so high maintenance now! (It could just be a first child thing or a girl thing, of course, or it could be just her!) Son (20 months) is chilled out, and will happily play on his own when I'm busy. Daughter will only sit still and not ask for attention if the telly's on (which makes me feel guilty again!)

househusbandconfessions.wordpress.com/

Oh, I just saw that blog linked to on another forum. Are you very short of readers?!