What has motherhood helped you to see or understand?

[Portofino]

And how has it enriched you?

Have left it late to do my homework for my course tonight? Any great thoughts I can steal use for inspiration?

Motherhood has taught me that I can delegate, which I can't do in the work place. Sending my DD to nursery for a few hours a week was a godsend and she didn't die because of it!

Also, I've learned to value friendships more and making any 'me time' actually worthwhile.

Also, I don't judge mums on the school run. A night without sleep and you look shit - it's happened to us all!

It taught me what it really is to love someone unconditionally - which is quite a unique experience and one I had not had before; despite loving my husband on first sight (and in an enduring way) and also adoring my own birth family to whom I have always been very close.

It taught me never to be too sure about my opinions because they changed (matured?) so much as my children became older.

I agree that I discovered that intelligence seems to be genetic but skills SO do have to be learned.

It gave me a lot more respect for experience.

I no longer worry about unimportant details. I got so much better at recognising the difference between important and unimportant. Or at least I think I did.

That I wasted an enormous amount of time before having children (what did I do with those weekends?)

That I had NO IDEA what it was to have children before having them and that I had some very strange ideas about motherhood, discipline, bfing, co-sleeping, child-free weddings etc.

That no matter what choices parents make, most parents are doing the best they can and not deliberately going out of their way to harm / neglect / fuck up their kids.

That life is incredibly short and infinitely precious.

That there are many more important things than earning lots of cash.

That people of different races and countries are more similar than different. Love for one's children is so universal.

That leaving behind the competitive world of work is a relief. When another mummy tells me her DC has just learnt to walk / been potty trained / said "mummy" for the first time etc, I don't think anything other than "how fab for her, she must be delighted".

That children are a great, great gift and every day i give thanks (to the universe, I am an atheist) for their presence in my life.

SBrickettt
DD is my eldest.

My ds seemed to need me more from day one. The very first night (he was born in the afternoon) he would NOT settle even after being fed until I eventually held him and he slept with me the whole night (and I don't DO co-sleeping..ha) Despite being chatty and happy he is still less sure than dd in new situations and took longer to settle into school.

The first night in hospital DD did sleep after she had been fed. She is a far more independant child than ds, she has a real inner strength (having said that she went through a torturous patch of separation anxiety when she was about 1yrs old but has flown since then!)
HTH

humility

this is a great thread and i'd like my first post to be on here.

my daughter is only 7 months old, so i guess there is alot more to feel/learn... but so far.....

that women are AMAZING.

that feeling this overwhelming, powerful, maternal love when you first lay eyes on your child is BS (well it was for me, i had to learn to deeply love her as i got to know her, yet nobody told me this may be the case)

that being a mum is the hardest job in the world, you have to learn to come 2nd, never have a day off, and feeling utterly exhausted is part of the job description.

that i'm physically and mentally stronger than i could ever imagine, yet have become even more emotional.

that babies/children are so precious and the thought of something bad happening to any baby/child makes me feel sick to my stomach.

that i'm so much more aware of my own mortality, i simply CAN'T die, she needs me ecause nobody can look after her the way i can.

that she is worth all the shit that somedays comes with it, i'm falling more and more in love with her each day and there's nothing i wouldn't do for her.

To all of you new mums and mums of small children out there - PLEASE appreciate the younger years - your children will never be more inquisitive, lively, loving etc.. I adore all my kids but my eldest 2 are strapping sulky (perfectly normal) teenagers -16 and 19 - independent in many ways - and yet.... they can't pick up wet towels, dirty clothes, dirty mugs etc. They are wonderful kids but I look at my 7yr old DS3 and I could cry - he is so wonderful and funny and I know what he is going to turn into!!! I agree with so many posts - money means so little now - enough is a feast. I treasure my family - with age comes the wisdom that to be happy and healthy is all you will ever need and I am truly blessed.
Now will someone pick up that bloody wet towel AAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!

I think I have come to realise how subjective the individual experience of being 'mum' can be. Everyone told me 'oh nothing can ever prepare you...', warned me about potential babyshock.. but it never came. The surprise, for me, was that it wasn't as exhausting or hard or shit as I had imagined it might be.

Before more seasoned mums start to tut, I don't have a baby who sleeps, he wakes up several times a night. He is a screamer, the GP called his cry 'bloodcurdling'. He gains weight slowly, causing us worry. He won't go to sleep unless I go to bed (and at the moment, as he is teething, STAY in bed or close enough that I can be in to him in a flash when he wakes. Failure to comply results in aforementioned bloodcurdling screaming). So he's not 'easy', per se.. but he's such a joy to be with, such a sweetheart, that he made the transition to parenthood easy for us. He smiled early, easily and with warmth. His laugh is as hearty as his cry is shrill. He actually says 'wah' when he begins to whimper and it is the cutest thing I have ever seen in all my living days. I had no idea how much or how deeply I would love him, even when he was being difficult.

Lovely thread.

I have learned that motherhood is the most rewarding thing that I have ever done, My DS's are fantastic little people and I would have a football team if I could (I won't).

How much I like my sleep

The strength of feelings you have for your children, the love the fear and the need to protect.

As a couple of other people have said I so wish my mum could have met them, I lost her when I was 14.

The capability of a toddler to ask questions!

Oh and just how fast you can move to avert disaster!

What a privilege it is to be a mother,what a terrifying responsibility I have,that I would never have known real lasting joy or deep frightening terror if I had never had children.

How much my own not caring about me hurts

How nothing else seems to matter

That I can be loved & still be who I am, mistakes & all!

How much my own mum not caring about me hurts

The huge capacity for love. That there is nothing as important as love. To put others first. That my job, whilst interesting and important to me, is actually meaningless in comparison to being a Mum. That my parents, for all their faults, did their best. That my dh is a lovely father. That I am perfectly content with one child.

That late nights and hangovers do not mix well with small children...

Having sons has made taught me much more about men, and made me much more compassionate to men, than all my exes put together.

That parents of teenagers get as little sleep as parents of babies (because even if you are not waiting up for them you are lying awake worrying about them). Never guessed that would happen.

Im still just immensely shocked that Ive been granted the amazing power to be a mother.

But I was like that when I first passed my driving test too...

Oh god yes, The Fear.

I never thought that I would lie awake for two hours in the night planning what I would do were I to drive off the quayside in to the harbour with DS in the car seat.

Or our escape route out of the house in case of fire/ tsunami/ earthquake.

Or how I would get off a sinking boat with a toddler.

Motherhood has turned me into a complete lunatic in fact.

motherhood has taught me

1. im good a giving birth ...strange but true.
2. i must be an ok person , i have amazing kids each and every one kids are super talented ,beautiful amazing people - they didnt get that from the ex-h (or h , hes lovely but not academic at all).i look at them everyday and pinch myself,still cant believe they came from me...
3. i dont sleep enough.
4. chocolate cures everything (except burst zips and toothache)

Fear.
Love.
Amazement.
Gratitude.
That you can be a good parent without having had a role model for that.

taught me

a gamut of deep emotions
to accept good enough is ok
how to get drool out linen trousers
that no matter what you do some fucker will turn up and try guilt trip you for it

I agree with most of these. I think the feeling that I would die for my child is a big one for me but I want to live to nurture her and see her grow.

That I never really understood the expression 'my pride and joy' before.

The importance - and difficulty - of letting go.

That there aren't enough hours in the day.

That I am always right .

that i'm not nearly as maternal as i thought i was.

that parenthood goes on too long for you to keep up any kind of 'pose' - therefore, unfortunately, your children will encounter you as you really are. sometimes that's ok.