What has motherhood helped you to see or understand?

[Portofino]

And how has it enriched you?

Have left it late to do my homework for my course tonight? Any great thoughts I can steal use for inspiration?

oh God, the Fear...

All of the above, (yes, really, and I can include all the stuff about your own parents, 'cause I had one evil alcoholic mother, but a dad and stepmum that at least tried hard!)
But, also, that kids remind us perpetually of what we have learnt, and that they need to be shown all the wonders of the world according to you.
Unfortunately, as they grow, this means that you also have to discuss the slightly-less-wondrous, through to the downright disheartening evil that happens, but - you know what? - they're just as strong emotionally as us, and can take it, although I wouldn't go as far as destroying Father Christmas for my 7 year old!

The Fear is not a friend.

On the subject of my own parents, having a child made me see my mum in a new, much less forgiving light (she killed herself when I was a teenager), which is a bit of a shame. It also gave me a new insight into why my dad used to yell at me so much when I forgot to call him and let him know I'd arrived somewhere safely

To be less judgemental.
That it's incredibly hard to break out of the pattern of your own upbringing.
Just how well my mum did to break the pattern of her upbringing.
That my mum probably suffers from untreated depression - and probably still does.
That to love well you have to acept risk.
To give your dc the chance to fail as well as to succed.
That I am amzing : I grew these three little wonders!

That patience is indeed the greatest of the virtues (and, at least for me, one of the hardest to attain!)

That there's a whole new type of happiness that comes with a baby.

That there are as many different types of mother as there are women in the world - and they all want the best for their child.

That life is fleeting and I'm very lucky to have a loving family.

To live in the present more.

To always wear a decent bra to baby class as sooner or later the baby WILL flash you to the class when she decides she wants a drink.

Hello all,Yes I agree that it's made me much more selfless! I was hoping if some mums could help fill a survey I am required to carry out for my child psychology course? Please?
Here goes:
Talk to as many different mothers of two or more young children as possible. Ask them whether they noticed differences between their children during their first few days of life.
What kind of differences did they notice?

Have these differences remained?

Thank you!

From day 1 dc1 was not particularly cuddly, nor did he respond to music. Dc2 leant into cuddles from day1, and she was instantly soothed by the sound of me singing (). OTOH with dc1 I could clearly distinguish his different cries for milk/wind/tiredness without seeing him within days, yet with dc2 it took much longer for me to identify her cries and I needed to see her to recognise what she wanted.

It has made me a lot less judgemental in general. However, it has caused me to understand my own mother even less than I did before. I would not make the same choices for my baby that she made for us.

sbrickett you may have more luck starting a new thread but FWIW, I have three DCs and the first one was different to the others as he was much hungrier. BUT I put that down to that being he was a) nearly three pounds heavier than them (oddly, the other two, six years apart, weighed exactly the same) and late whilst they were early. And it was my first time BF so I imagine it took a while to get going.

Other than that, no real differences.

Oh and to the OP, I understand exactly, now I have 3 DCs, how my mum (also had 3) was feeling when she went off on one at us.

My eldest sister, who has only one extremely indulged daughter, will never understand and has still not forgiven her.

Motherhood has taught me to not care about:

a) the state of my house
b) how other people parent their kids
c) what other people think about how I parent mine
d) what I look like most of the time

It's also taught me that I cannot control everything in my universe and that my job is not the most important thing in my life.

this thread is making me cry so much.
i'm sure what i'll say has been much repeated but ..................

1. i thought i was a patient human being pre-kids. I'm not - so i'm working very hard on that.

1. to stop shouting as much as i do - hated that environment growing and don't want it for my two - its quite hard to stop and to try "reigning it in".

1. that the smacking/hitting i experienced from my own parents is utterly unacceptable in my own children's lives - all i've recently been able to think is "how could they have done that to me?"

1. any tiny/big achievement they make makes me grin for hours and my heart melt.

1. i didn't think it was possible to love my husband more than i did but i do for helping me make them - i think we're both bloody clever!

1. i used to type beautifully and with no spelling mistakes in anything - that changed too.

That the world is a sad and worrying and scary place and sometimes overwhelmingly so. I hadn't fully appreciated that before I had my children.

(Sorry, there are LOADS of positive things too but most of them have already been mentioned, I think!)

1. The way I love my DS is nothing like how I feel for anyone else ever

1. I could cheerfully throttle him 50% of the time

1. The other 50% of the time I just want to cover him in kisses

1. I am amazed that more pople don't stop me in the street to tell me how absolutely gorgeous he is. He is, honestly, the most beautiful human being I have EVER seen.

1. The Fear. Yup. Know that feeling

Patience.

Tolerance.

Selflessness.

That love is so much bigger than I ever thought it could be.

To appreciate my own Mum a bit more!

mostly been covered I think.
I am amazed at how clearly DS's character was defined from the moment he was born - inquisitive and cheeky. Hasn't changed, 2 1/2 years later, still going strong.

That I could love someone so fiercely and protectively and that I am a better mum than I thought I would be. Right up to the day of my induction I was terrified I wouldn't be able to cope - baby comes out, cue "earth mother" emerging.

That the thoughts of how you are going to parent are sometimes very different from the realities of what you can manage - freshly prepared organic food daily with no sugary crap etc. didn't quite work out for us

That I am NOT my Mum and although some things I do are the same, others are very different - e.g. I don't remember cuddles with her, and she used to say I wasn't a cuddly child, but DS and I cuddle all the time.

Portofino - it's Mothers' Day in Australia this Sunday as well!

How much I like time to myself.

That no matter what I do, Ill always feel guilty.

What unconditional love is.

Oh also that I have more of a capacity for love than I thought.

I worried when pregnant with DC2, that I would never love the new baby as much as my first child? How could I? But I did and do, and when I had DC3, I love him just as much.

It's like you know you can't give more than 100%, so given that your first child has 100% of your [maternal] love, you think there'll be none left. But you still keep finding other lots of 100%

Humility. In spades.

That, if someone without kids tells you they are tired, they really don't know what they are talking about.

And that, to echofoureleven, I really need time to myself. Indeed, I go bonkers without it. I don't think I properly knew that before.

It taught me that aspiring to a fantastic career / anything material was something that I didn't want.

It has also taught me to not do things because other people think I should - I should do what is right for me and DC(s).

Lastly, that most people are nice (especially if you havea child).

Yes - The Fear and The Guilt! I know them well. I shouldn't talk about my course too much but so far gem of wisdom: As Mothers we must put ourselves first!

Of course normally we put ourselves last. At least I do. But it was put to us that on a plane you need to put YOUR oxygen mask on first, then sort everyone else - otherwise you are no use to anyone. So the same goes for day to day life. You have to be happy and healthy in order to look after everyone else properly.

That you are allowed to be wrong.

That motherhood is a lot harder than I thought it would be.
That I have a greater capacity for love than I thought i did.
That I was quite a selfish person pre dd.
That I am more authoritarian than I thought I would be.
That sometimes it's ok to shout (when under extreme duress after about 3.5 hours sleep.)
That dd has given me so many more interests than I had before her birth; crafts, interior design, cookery, blogging, jwellery design and gardening. Rather than just pubbing and clubbing.
That there is no shame in being a single mum.

That I am no where near as patient as I thought

That you can never be prepared for what each day will throw at you

That you can be insanely angry/frustrated one minute & crying laughing the next

That I am alot more maternal than anyone ever thought I would be

That I have alot more respect for my mum for doing this on her own for the first 5 years of my life.