grandad and discipline

[Groggymama]

ds1 (3) was told off by a very angry grandad when he came to stay with us a week ago, and I'm taking the kids to stay with the grandparents next week. He told him off 3 times, for pushing him and for pestering the adults when we sat down to have a cuppa. My dad is a very large man and physically strong (he grabs ds a lot and physically gets him to do something, I've seen a bruise once) and of course ds was reduced to tears and I had to spend half an hour consoling him. My mum says don't leave ds on his own with grandad. Its all a bit worrying, anyone else had this to deal with?

Do you mean leaving the kids with the grandparents, or will you be staying, too?

I wouldn't leave him under these circumstances. And if you're staying, I guess you need to be quite clear with him about what 'works' with ds, and how you would like him to hold back on his style of dealing with children and follow your lead, so that DS can enjoy a good fun relationship with hm.

hard.

hi, yes, I'm staying with them and will try and talk to gd, cos he is fun and loves ds, his approach is all wrong imo

Maybe your dad's forgotten what it's like to have a toddler around? I know my FIL tried to talk to our nephew like he talks to an adult and gets frustrated when he doesn't understand/jump right to it. We have to keep saying "he's only x years old you know".
And 'pestering the adults'? Your DS doesn't understand that when we Brits sit down to a cuppa it's serious business - he'll probably see it as an opportunity to get some serious attention