What's the most disgusting thing you've had to do as a parent?

[Roscat]

On Saturday we decided to go for a meal for the first time with our 2 year old son and new baby (2 weeks). While dh went for a quick dash round the supermarket with ds1 I fed baby in the car and changed his nappy - and he peed all over my jeans.
We figured that if we went home and back to the restaurant or went home and cooked a meal that ds1 would have a total meltdown (he tends to if he gets too hungry and he was already starting to get difficult) so for the sake of peace we just went on into the restaurant. I would never have dreamt of doing that before becoming a parent. Luckily the pee wasn't in a place where it looked as if I had wet myself and the restaurant was quite dark.
Please reassure me with your disgusting stories..

wuglet lol at poo-miner. Sorry to have lowered the standards so early

Does having to get a urine sample from the dog count?

She's my baby too

Both times that I have fed my four month old lying down she has sicked it all back up afterwards - once straight into my face as I lay next to her on the bed. Needless to say, we don't feed like that anymore.

Then last week when she was having some nappy off time on the changing mat I went into the other room to sort out some laundry and when I came back in she was lying in a puddle of lovely runny baby poo, kicking her legs happily. Cleaning that up was pretty disgusting - I didn't know where to start; it was everywhere.

I don't find getting bogies out that disgusting to be honest, but then I am a bit of a nose picker myself

I was trying to get as many out as possible with an ear bud, as she had them badly and was screaming, pinkmagic1

It took a week of taking that ovex stuff every night to get rid.

Combing my stepkids hair for nits was also something I didn't relish - not that bad I grant you, but as a newbie step-parent it was a big step and I scratched and itched for ages even though I didn't get any - thinking about it now is making me itchy!

having DD2 (who had come through to my bed in the middle of the night for a snuggle as she wasn't feeling great) throw up all over my face and hair - she was 8 or so, so I made her wait till I went in the shower first [mean]

Fishing poo out of the bath from supposedly toilet trained DCs....

Surely it isn't safe to take Ovex every night?

On our last day in Florida, sitting having a meal, suitcases packed, ds2 filled his nappy in style.

It was coming out everywhere. No worries, thinks I, I have spare clothes for him in his changing bag, plus still have the suitcases in boot of car.

Took him into the hotel loos, set him down, started peeling off his clothes. Everything covered, even his socks. Tried to wash him with tepid water and yards and yards of loo roll. Got poo on my hands, my jeans, elbow of top (I don't know how).

Had to walk back through hotel lobby with stinking nappy sack, stinking clutch of wet clothes, stinking clothes on self and one shiny clean cross ds2.

Have also removed poo from bath with my own hands.

Ooooh! Don't me! Taking a dose of Ovex once a night for a week was on the advice of the dr!

I had tried the one off dose, but it wasn't touching it.

Loving these stories. When DD was about 5, she swallowed a coin. Every day for 3 days we had to poke through her poo to see if the coin had made it's way out. DH and I took it strictly in turns as it was not a fun job. It involved rubber gloves and fishing around in the toilet.

I sucked the snot out of DD's nose when she was a baby, but that never occured to me as being gross until a woman at toddler group nearly vommed when I mentioned it.

DD was a sicky baby, by which I mean every breastfeed was followed by rivers of milky vomit. It used to baffle me that such a tiny baby could produce so much. On one occasion DD and I were so drenched, and all muslins/towels were miles out of reach, I just called Girldog over to deal with the worst. Was very glad no one was around to witness me holding my child out at arms' length for the Rottweiler to lick clean...

Nothing to do with my own DS has disgusted me at all.

Cleaning up poo on DS's schoolfriend is another matter!

DD has a beautiful rag rug beside her bed. She loves it to bits.

One night she threw up a portion of thai green curry and rice over the rug. As well as being upset by being sick, she was upset at what would happen to the rug. I promised her it would all be OK.

I spent the rest of the evening picking individual grains of vomited rice off the rug, before I could put it in the washing machine. Each grain had become wedged among the plaits of the rag rug.

I had never imagined quite how many grains of rice are in a child's portion - nor how much the stench of vomited thai green curry would linger.

I had to let ds2 poo onto a paper plate, and then dissect his poo with a plastic knife, looking for pieces of plastic that we HOPED would come out "that way".

It was a piece of a lid from a macdonalds fanta, it came lose, he sucked it in with the straw, and it got stuck in his throat, he was choking and could not breathe, resulting in a mad rush to the nearest hospital (in Poland) following the ambulance which came out to meet us in a carpark.

I did find it in his poo, and was much reassured.

been puked on more times than i care to remember. catching puke in hands so it did not go on the floorboards and drip through the gaps... nothing to horrific actually.. thank the lord

DH has vomited in my mouth as I held him over my head

I have fished out poo from the bath and pushed the remaining bits of sweetcorn through the plughole

Used one of those snot sucker things when he was congested without realising DH had taken out the stopper to sterilise it!

Caught poo in my hand so it didnt land on the carpet

Picked his nose!

Puppie! Please please tell me you mean ds or dd not dh!

Lol at sweetcorn through plugholes!

Yes I meant DS although DH sounds much funnier, I might stick with it!

The usual vom in mouth, mine I think is the worst ever. My dd had dysentry, I was bending over cleaning her very sore bottom and she pumped. A fine mist of diarroeah covered me, she followed it up with a stream of liquid slurry all over my face.

Am PMSL at some of these. DS has a habit of leaning over me and giving me snotty open mouthed kisses (he is 1!). Have also caught vomit in my lap a few times. I actually tend to point him towards me when he makes that 'I am about to projectile' noise in his throat as it's far easier to change my own clothes than give him an impromptu bath