God help me

[FabIsGettingThere]

It has been said again that it doesn't get any easier as the children get older.

I just feel at the thought as I am no good at keeping them in any kind of line - forget just normal kids behaviour that you let go. No control at all.

I just want to get it out, no need to respond. You must be so sick of me anyway.

DH took charge this morning. Took well over an hour. I would have caved before then.

When mine get too much I chuck them into the garden for an hour.

Good luck it will pass

Oh - can you have 'rules' that you follow when kids are out of order - rules are so much easier to follow and then you don't feel like the bad guy quite so much! perhaps your DH could devise them and then you can feel as if you're just following his idea as an experiment

oh and explain to the kids what the rules are and that if they don't do 'x', then 'y' will happen and then execute. What happened today?

when you say in any kind of line fab what it is that you want that is not happeneing?

(sorry don't know your whole story)

We all have days like that, yesterday and today my almost 5 yr dd has driven me to complete despair.

Lies.
Cheek.
Back chat.
Trying to damage a door.

He has been better today since dh stuck to his guns though...and it is always a bit better when only 2 kids are here. DD went to PIL to have some peace from the boys and have a treat as she was the only one behaving this morning.

so you have 3 dc's and the boys are playing up?

How old are they?

are you consistent with punishments? and threats? ie If you continue to do x, Y will happen. If they continue, then the punishment happens?

I find with mine that if dh and I are having an inconsistent day they are less well behaved. Also sometimes we have to actually stop and say, Ok enough, lets us get out of the bad mood set and take charge, yesterday we all went out to a farm although neither myself or dh wanted to and he and dd had just had big row. Sometimes a bit of fresh air, and a change of scenery is enough to turn it around.

Pick your arguments, I am always telling dh this, don't sweat the small stuff. Try not to get too involved in their fights either, let them try and sort it.

Ah - all the button pressers. NOT fun. AT ALL. Much sympathy.

Weeeelll - how about a family meeting - big event - things must change etc. You both love them very much but general behaviour is ruining the fun you could be having etc etc. Explain that there are 2 family meetings.

Meeting number 1 will be held Saturday (or whichever day you and DH can be there) and is for them to tell you what they want from their family, you as parents and things that they are finding upsetting. Please can they write things down (if they're old enough) and you will write down what they all say too and can they listen carefully and make sure you've understood it correctly etc.

Meeting number 2 will be held the next day after you and DH and have read through everything again and have come up with a plan that will make everyone feel much happier and that you as parents will have a couple of things that you want them to realise is important to you too etc etc etc

Then - hopefully they will feel that they have been heard, you can address issues that they have (that you may not realise that they had) and the rules can be generated and followed as an impersonal thing that you all abide by.

You could suggest a follow up meeting where you all chat about how you think things are going.

great idea mrsT

we have had a day today when ALL of them pressed ALL of the buttons.

It's really hard so i sympathise i really do!

All great ideas and support, thank you.

Better day today. Haven't been complete angels but it hasn't escalated like he has done before. A friend visited which they liked and I went out for a couple of hours so that did me good. Came home to a massive pile of wet clothes but at least they had fun.

I am hoping we can go to the beach tmw as dh is back at work on Thursday and we haven't been anywhere yet.