I love my DD but being in a car with a toddler makes me want to drive it off the nearest cliff (which is about 50 miles away, I'm willing to make the journey)

[Bumperlicious]

I love driving I really do, I like to zone out and listen to Radio 4 in the morning, or talking books on long journeys. But driving with my DD (2.7) has really taken the fun out of it and makes me want to drive off a cliff. In fact I was so distracted I bumped into the back of a taxi the other morning.

Conversations generally go something like this:

DD: Daddy's a boy isn't he?
Me: Mmm hmmm
DD: Mummy daddy's a boy?
Me: Yes darling, Daddy's a boy.
DD: and I'm a girl
Me: Yes darling
DD: I was sick in grandma's car.
Me: Yes darling, about 3 months ago.
DD: Grandma had to clear it up. I want to go to grandma's
Me: You can't go to grandma's we're going to nursery.
DD: Why?
Me: Because mummy has to go to work.
DD: Why?
Me: Because I have to earn some money
DD: Why
Me:
DD: I don't do snatching at nursery
Me: No darling, snatching is naughty
DD: I'm not naughty
DD: Say bless you mummy
Me: Bless you darling

DD: Mummy, I like green.
Me: Do you darling? Is it your favourite colour?
DD: Yes, it is my favourite and my best. DO you like green.
Me: Yes darling

Me:
DD: What did you say to the man?
Me:

It's lovely that she talks a lot, and so eloquently. But I just need some headspace in the morning and want to enjoy my drive into work with the radio!!!! Just me?

geordieminx at 17:28... have you been in my car? that's exactly how my ds gets on.

my dmum thinks it's lovely. . just wait until she has to look after him for two weeks while i'm booked into knockbracken (nearest 'mental health' hospital)... lol

Oh, and the best one:

DD: Can we go?
Me: No
DD: Why?
Me: Because there is a car in front of us?
DD: Why?
Me: There just is darling.
DD: Why? Why can't we go?

you've forgotten

DD: why can't you go faster mummy it's more fun.............

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have 4 dds all but one are complete chatterboxes

pigleychez - I think I must have the "mummy" "yes" thing (I'm not going to grace it with the term conversation) about three times a day with DD2, who is 23mths. Only DD1 joins in and we laugh about it, so it's quite funny.

This is one of the reasons I am having another baby, to give DD someone to talk to!

Bumper - see my earlier post about the annoyingness of 2 DC in the back

Are you trying to send me over the edge SS?

Childrens audio books. Magic!

I got these for exactly the same reason!! Keeps DD quiet for ages!! Although I know go round Asda singing "I'm the smartest giant in toooooowwwwwnnnnn.....!" to myself!!!

Roald Dahl audio books are fairly bearable on long journeys.

I have the answer: Get (hire?) a colicky baby who screams every time their little bottom is impaled on the spikes oftouches the car seat... and then by comparison the never-ending 'why? why? why? WHY???' will seem like utter bliss ....

Mind you, if DD is as colicky as DS was, I'm joining you cliffwards, Bumperlicious!

Emphases not working today??

My DD (2.9) serenades us. Twinkle Twinkle little star for an hour... there was only one version that appeared to have the correct words. The other 58 minutes consisted of entirely made up stuff. DD's speech isn't so great so it's hard to tell what words she's singing, but she's very good at holding a tune.
I blame DP, he's a musician. I prefer DD's singing to him playing drums while I'm driving. At least the singing doesn't make me think there's something wrong with the car.

I recommend the They Might Be Giants kids albums. Very listenable.

DD's latest favourite it directing me "'at way" "'at way" I've taught her to watch the sat nav and look out for traffic lights.
She's also started asking if we're nearly there... before we even leave the house!!!

• Roald Dahl story CDs
• AC/DC CDs
• threatening to put on the radio if they cant be quieter
• asking them who their favourite girls at school are (they are boys and this quickly shuts them up!!)