The first night at home with your new baby - how was it for you?

[Carriel]

Another one for the next mumsnet book, but I think the first night home can be one of the scariest experiences. Do you have any tips from experience you'd like to pass on? Mine is to make sure the heating's turned on so when you get back late having waited for hours to be signed out the house isn't an ice box....

For newborns one layer of clothing more than you have on, is sufficient.

Make sure that your dh has remembered to actually take out of the freezer some of the wonderful meals you cooked beforehand - otherwise you can wait a long time for them to defrost.

Don't think you will save the trouble and get a takeaway. the pizza delivery boy will ring the doorbell very loudly just as your baby has gone to sleep.

The baby who slept in the hospital will now not sleep unless you hold and rock them.

DS and I came home the day after he was born. We arrived home at lunchtime and I fed him. He then slept and slept and slept...

After 8 hours of him sleeping we rang the midwives on the labour ward and asked if this was normal. The midwife we spoke to said that we HAD to wake him up, give him a bath, etc. but wake him. Her tone made us panic so we duly undressed him and gave him his first bath. When he still refused to wake we rang the hospital back and spoke to a much calmer midwife who said that after his traumatic birth it wasn't surprising he was so tired. And why were we awake?!

Of course, by the time we were ready for bed he started to stir...

Make sure that your DH understands that night you spent in hospital was the night for wetting the baby's head.

If bottle feeding make sure that DH does not "save on washing up" by putting a whole day's worth of formula in one bottle.

2 years on i'm still angry!

If you expect the house to be cleaned and flowers - ask for them specifically (yes, bitter experience). However, I was in hospital for four nights after my c-section (and a month beforehand) so for me being home and eating home food and sleeping in my own bed was such bliss I don't even remember the baby waking up - though I'm perfectly sure he did.

my Lovely neighbour put up a banner foR me outside our house - i cried!

MInd you I only gave birth 3 hours before!

ooh, I would have loved a banner. Or a balloon. Or a card or bunch of flowers.... Bah!

Make sure you have formula in the house, even if you're breastfeeding !

I came home 10 hours after my first baby was born and was breastfeeding. DD was feeding constantly and was simply not satisfied by colostrum (my milk came in 3 days later). She was so hungry that she was still crying even when DP took her out for a 2 hour long drive at 2am ! We went out the next day and bought some of the ready mixed stuff to tide us over. I would definitly get some in beforehand, given my time again.

It was terrifying. I looked at this tiny little bundle and said 'oh, he's here for ever isn't he?' I know it sounds stupid but I hadn't thought beyond the birth and realised the enormity of it somehow. The thing that helped me through those first few days (not coming back from anywhere since ds was born at home) was having my mum there. She shopped, cooked, cleaned, reassured me and let me sleep as much as I wanted. It made all the difference. So get help if you can.

I wish someone had told me about Muslin cloths before hand! I had to send dh out to buy more sheets for the moses basket as ds kept possetting on them and they needed washing so I was running out. MIL came to visit and spotted 100 sheets on the washing line (slight exagaration)and suggested laying ds on a muslin cloth. Why didn't I think of that?

Sorry to digress, but my friend gave birth yesterday to her first child (ds - 5lb 12oz) I spoke to her dh last night who invited me to go round whenever I feel like it. I told him to tell her to call me when she is ready to receive visitors as I know what those first few weeks are like. He replied "Well, it's not like she's at work or anything - she's off until January you know" MEN!!!!

Oh yes, GET HELP. Mums, MIL, neighbours, but they have to be people who will help on your terms, not theirs. Someone who will take the baby out for an hour while you sleep is a godsend. someone who comes round and expects you to make them tea, isn't. Oh, that reminds me, when people come round, tell them the kettle and teabags are in the kitchen, then they'll make YOU a cup of tea, which is nice.

We carefully put the little car seat in the middle of the floor, stepped back and just looked at her (dd1). Suddenly the house seemed a lot smaller!

Woke up at 3am with her and thought'Where is everyone?' It was then I realised that basically, we were on our own.

Put clean sheets on the bed. So lovely after horrible hospital bedlinen. Actually if I ever go to hospital again I'm bringing my own duvet and pillow!

But make sure there is a protective cover under those sheets...

Make sure you have somewhere to change the baby other than the floor or your bed. The HV at the parentcraft class did a big thing on us about how changing tables are a waste of money (agree with this bit) and the best/safest place to change a baby is the floor. She failed to mention that in the days immediately after birth it would be near impossible/very painful to try to get up/down to the floor with baby and then be trying to clean up all that meconium from that position....

As soon as your baby appears to be at all settled (might well be straight away if still sleepy from car journey) have a lovely, relaxing bath with some lavender oil or something similar and allow your partner to get to know the baby while you wallow in your own bath - so much more appreciated after the hospital one. Continue with this routine in the following days.

Stick a note on the door telling everyone your baby's details with a note saying "Please do not disturb unless urgent". I also had one later which said "Mother and baby feeding or asleep - please do not disturb unless urgent"

Aloha, I did take my own pillow into hospital with me when I was in labour - it was lovely I put it on my list of "things you need for the hospital" whenever anyone asks me.

don't know if anyone has said this, but if your baby was born in hospital (very noisy places) it may not be able to sleep in dead quiet. have a radio on very low in its room for the first couple of nights (turn down gradually) until it gets used to the quieter home surroundings.
I was given this tip by a friend and it works like MAGIC.

ps the longer you stayed in hospital after the birth the more your baby is likely to panic at silence in the middle of the night!

Scary! But lovely to have a bath and some of those biscuits someone suggested I get in for all those people who'd come round. (I ate most of them first!)

Don't know if this is the right place for this tip. But do not let your DH sort out your leaving hospital clothes. I left hospital in chunky walking trainers, no socks and a skirt in Feb with snow on the ground. As if I didn't look bad enough with that sort of moving gingerly new Mum walk.

I wish I'd told people not to send flowers! How rude of me, I know people were being lovely but OMG it was ridiculous, I gave loads of them to the nurses and still didn't have the room for them all at home i just ran out of surfaces to put them so they lined the hall floor in the end!

To be honest my first night home was fab, our imediate family came & went early evening, then our best mates popped round for champagne, I gave Lottie a last feed at about 1 and she slept through till 6am (& so did we)! Mind you she was 5 days old at this stage as we'd been in hospital up until then. In hospital we were both woken up to breastfeed every few hours.

Bozza - my sister gave me exactly this advice. When she saw the clothes her dh had brought to the hospital for her to wear she burst into tears.

I took the advice to heart and packed my own bag beforehand with suitable things.

Then he forgot to bring it. I went home in my mothercare night shirt.

So when you've packed the bag, put it in the car boot along with the baby seat

ditto the formula advice from WSm - I gave hum 2 fl oz because I was so tired but never bottle fed again...

Have a pack of dummies in the house. Even if you are adamant you are NEVER going to let a child of yours have a dummy ... you might change your mind at 2 am!

get those pampoers care mats to out under your bum in the car - on the sofa etc to stop blood staining..(sorry sounds gruesome)

"put under" i meant