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Absolutely devastated

11 replies

PeachyClair · 22/07/2005 08:44

As soe of you will know, we have been trying to get support and a Socail Worker for sam for some months now, as we hger very little sleep and he has violent episodes, mostly directed to his brother. We have got nowhere, e-mails / phone calls etc all unanswered.

A few days ago, Dh and I had a big row due to tiredness and financial stress - NO violence / threats of or anything- we made up in minutes, but before we did Mark was going to walk out, and as a panick thing I called the police, remembering amrk's threatened suicide bid lasyt year, but i hung up before talking to anyone. They came anyway- to find we had made up alrady- Now we have a letter from SS warning us if we 'do it again' they will take child protection action!

Kids wern't even with us!

Absolutely devastated, heartbroken, terrified. I try hard to be a parent 24 hours a day with little rest and even less support. I don't deserve this!

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pinkmama · 22/07/2005 08:47

Peachyclair, I dont know your situation, but it sounds terrible, and I am so sorry you are facing all this. You must feel terrible, and like the people who you hoped could help are just turning against you. Just wanted to say sorry.

PeachyClair · 22/07/2005 09:15

I should have specified, Sam has Aspergers

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acnebride · 22/07/2005 09:18

God peachyclair, sounds completely awful. Wish I had something helpful to say.

assumedname · 22/07/2005 09:18

Do you think it might be a good idea for you to see a solicitor and get a letter sent to all parties explaining things, including the lack of sleep etc and lack of help? And that you just panicked etc?

for you.

PeachyClair · 22/07/2005 09:25

The letter says that it is just routine, Dh says I am panicking and that if they really thought there was an issue they would react now?

One fight, we don't deserve this!!

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alux · 22/07/2005 09:27

yes, get legal advice regarding SS's threats. I would hope a stern letter to SS detailing the many instances YOU have contacted them to try to ilicit THEIR support with no response. Do NOT take a half-hearted apology from them.

This is the last thing you need on top of your problems.

alux · 22/07/2005 09:28

sorry assumed name. a threat is a threat, especially one that they have put in writing. I would never take one lightly.

assumedname · 22/07/2005 09:29

?

morningpaper · 22/07/2005 09:35

So sorry you are going through this.

I'm sure it IS routine - did they know it was you calling? Could it have been one of your children?

The main reason for such a call would have been that he was threatening you with violence. Any other reason sounds like an excuse, really, even if you know it is true. The Police have a responsibility to react and in your case I think they did an impressive job. I think if the authorities came to any other conclusion (other than domestic violence) then they would be failing in their responsibilities.

Can you put in place another plan for when/if a 'disaster' happens again - maybe ring a friend who knows your DH and can help so that you make a different choice of actions next time?

assumedname · 22/07/2005 09:37

alux - don't understand. I didn't say take it lightly, I suggested seeing a solicitor!!

PeachyClair · 22/07/2005 09:51

I just called SS, to speak to Children and Disabilities Unit. Theya re going to make a referral- but get this- as there is no genuines suspicin of a child protection case, they may be too busy to help!!

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