Living in a small flat with toddler & baby?

[pomelo]

I wasn´t sure where to post this but I think it is a parenting issue of sorts...

I am considering moving to a 2 bedroom flat with 2 Ds 3 yrs and 9 mos but have my concerns.

Firstly on a positive note I really like the idea of being somewhere very secure, low maintenance and most importantly it would be a place I could afford outright with the money from my divorce settlement.

However I am concerned that a lack of space and not having a garden would be detrimental to my children, especially as they get older. I have always thought of a garden as being almost a necessity when you have children although that may only be in an ideal world...is it really that important?

I could maybe get a small house in a worse area in order to have a garden but I am certain it wouldn´t be that big and I am put off by potential maintenance issues, not to mention having to stretch myself economically...and I don´t really want to rent - help

Am I being selfish?

i have lived in flats until 3 months ago- our flat in london was a 3 bedroom although my dds shared a room, and we had only one bathroom. no garden.

to be honest, i think it's fine. Yes a garden is convenient but provided there is a park/playground within walking distance you don't absolutely need it. in fact, it forces you to go out and do stuff and makes it easier to meet people.

I lived in a great area and had lots of local friends, for me those things were more important than anything else.

we have a garden now (we've moved overseas) and it is very nice; but somehow i miss the "social" aspect of going to the park.

Thanks MM for your postive reply

Yes I had thought about going to the playground/park instead and one of the flats I have been looking at is a couple of mins away from a huge country park and playground.

I like the idea of the social side too

go for that one Pomelo!!! you'll make friends, your dcs will make friends, and I would also favour security (physical and financial) at this stage in your life.

I have three children in a two bed tenement and it's great. Lots of people with children here live in tenements with communal garden areas - it's actually quite social because everyone goes to the local park on sunny days and in some blocks the communal areas have kids play equipment so they all play out together.

The downside is that you can't just kick them out the back door tonplay while you get on with your stuff in the house. But you get used to that.

Personally I would rather live in the city without access yo a garden than in the suburbs but obs not everyone us the same.

I would check out the area - park nearby? Other people with kids? Grassy communal area?

ds (3) has never had a garden but the park is about 50m away and we are there every day, in an ideal world I would love a house with garden for him but we aren´t in that situation and this is the best we can give him, he is happy enough. and dh never had a garden growing up and has turned out alright

The security aspect is great too. And they won't mind sharing.

How many times in a year can you use the garden in uk? Not too many.
Funny that we are more obsessed with garden here in uk, when in Madrid,Athens and Rome people bring up children in appartments.

If you like the flat and the area then go for it. The flat will be easier and cheaper to manage and you can have nice days out.

We're in a slightly similar scenario - me and DH bought a lovely 1930s terrace a year and a half ago. Pros - near both sets of parents, lovely neighbours on both sides, great house, huge big park and a small supermarket 5 mins walk away, generally v nice area, we can usually get parked right outside

Cons - baby on the way, terrace has v thin walls, no garden, parking is on street, while the street does have ramps it is not a cul-de-sac and there can be traffic so not the best for kids.

We could relocate 15 miles away, out to the suburbs or a village and get a 3 or even 4 bed, much newer build house with a decent garden for the same price as our current house.

We've decided to stay put for now and reassess next year or the year after. It's a tough call - great area, nice house etc v garden, cul-de-sac further away. Hmmmm....

Sorry can't give you any advice but just wanted to say that I sympathise

i live in a flat and am planning on baby number 2. we would love to live in a house with a garden but have gone through redundancies and financially cant until oh gets a better job and i return to work ft when littlies are older. so we have decidd to stick where we wre. we do have a lovely cul de sac and kids play outside but it means i stand out there too doing star jumps to keep warm!! we have a mini garden but you have to walk ages to get there, it is a pain but it does mean we get out more.

we head off to the beach, park, walks in the countryside.

i have to admit flats are much easier- you can read on the soa whilst littlie is in the bath- you can see them! you can have a lie in knowing there is no danger and they can walk between yr room and theirs.. shower whilst they watch cbeebies etc.

i like it with small children but we def want a bigger house at some point.

my friends have made me feel a bit less grown up as they all have houses etc, and its so nice to hear other people in the same boat. i feel more positive about our set up. the flat ahs been putting me off having baby number 2 but if you guys have managed it, so can i!

xx