what would you do in the following scenario

[emkana]

Sunday dinner. ds (3.8) has not touched his plate. After a reasonable amount of time cleared plates are taken away and pudding is brought out. Ds demands pudding.

Would you

a/let him have it
b/insist he eats (some of) his dinner before he has pudding
c/not bring the pudding out in the first place (bearing in mind that there are other children who have eaten)

B..... I think.

B. If no joy, C.

I'd say, 'but you can't be hungry, ds or you would have eaten your dinner'

B and if no joy D.....all others eat pudding, ds gets fruit or nowt!

B surely is the 'right' answer...
But in reality I imagine A for a lot of people!
I think I'd maybe offer an alternative pudding of fruit or yogurt rather than something more exciting.

B and then C

the kid doesn't get pudding. others eat pudding.

the kid then eats his tea next time

hard shit kid

Custy thats tough love indeed .

DS is 16 months and I have been advised to always give him pudding whether he eats his dinner or not, so that he at least eats something. It's probably different for a 3 year old though. But I suppose if you make sure he only has one helping, then if he is still hungry you could offer the main course again?

I do the same as Custardo, although generally once the puddings are out, it is amazing how much they ask for their plate back and start eating their tea.

Mine know to eat all or most of their tea before they get any oudding.

Love Custy but thats what happens here

Definately B), and if he doesn't eat it, everyone gets pudding except him.

It has worked in this house .

I am completely with Custardo and Mumwhereareyou.

I just smile sweetly and say that if they didn't want to finish their tea, it must be that they are much too full for pudding.

I'm not tough, but I am consistent.

No before tea either ...

Can't just be a one off though can it? Consistency is required on this.

I am a definite B then a tough luck kinda person

I am in the 'Custy brigade". That is what happens here too.

It's about boundaries and that's a big one of mine

PS demands ?

well, asks for it

The conversation here goes

'I want pudding'
'Oh, are you hungry, DC?'
'Yes'
'Then I'm sure there's some of the main course left'.

[Evil face]

I'm with Custy too.

b definitely b

I'm with Custy.

B and if that doesn't work everyone else gets their pudding and he goes without. It works everytime in this house

Custy method here too.

Oh the amount of times the dinner has magically been eaten by said child who was much too full.

Depends. Does he do this all the time or is this a one-off? If it's a habit, then you should do 'b' but if it's a one-off I would go for 'a'. What did you give him for mains? something lovely or something horrid?